That's me.
You all have been really supportive and nice here. I don't really respond well to blind "YOU RULE HY8" notes, so don't worry about shit like that.
I want to respond to a few comments here. It's weird for me. On one hand I realize that I've operated online all these years under a shroud of mystery and there has GOT to be some lingering questions long time readers have that you've always wondered about. On the other hand, it feels awfully cocky of me to act like I am this man of mystery.
You know what I realized with all this talking about past stuff? That I've aged since I started in 1997, I've matured, seasoned up.
But you have too. Which is why I can't imagine anyone who has only known of me for, like, the past two years would see me as anything but this tool with an overgrown sense of accomplishment.
But if you've been with me since the beginning, or at least sionce 2001... well... you ain't a teenager anymore and I ain't a youthful 20 something douchebag.
Although... heh... if things were different around the old IWC, I think I'd could still produce a weekly Mop-Up that would bring ALL SORTS OF MOTHERFUCKING FURY!!
No, I'm not going to, but I COULD if the conditions were right. (they won't ever be so don't go asking.)
It's funny, I stumbled (googled my name and found) a message board where someone made a comment about how drawn out my "retirement" was and someone else said, "Hyatte, there's a name I haven't thought of for a long time" and someone else mentioned this blog and how I've mellowed. Why fight it, I have mellowed. Who wouldn't?
Anyway, while we're all sitting here getting older:
August 27, 2007 2:55 AM
Anonymous said... I'm not stalking you (first comment like an hour after you posted the blog)honest!!! At least you know i'm still clutching at straws... Guess who?
I answered this in the comments section but... well... I don't pay attention to comments on any blog I STALK... err, look over.
There is an obvious guess and the writing style would match said guess but who knows? You can't trust some people. E-mail me and say hello.
And maybe I want to be stalked?
August 27, 2007 5:31 AM
The guy that asked the economics question said... Four things: 1. Dave Scherer still exists? 2. There's somebody online that uses that actually calls themselves Tiny Tim? 3. I only scam people I don't respect. 4. So with that said: how would you reform economics?
1) He does and if you google PWInsider.com and click the link you get the following:
Warning - visiting this web site may harm your computer!
You can learn more about harmful web content and how to protect your computer at StopBadware.org.
Suggestions:
Return to the previous page and pick another result.
Try another search to find what you're looking for.
Or you can continue to http://www.pwinsider.com/ at your own risk.
Even Google is telling you that Dave Scherer runs a piece of shit site that will kill your computer.
His son is a junkie, I hear. So kharma is alive and well.
2) Yes. I ignore him
3) Aww, nice.
4) Hire people smarter than me with numbers (remember, way at the bottom of this blog, I admitted to being terrible with money.)
August 27, 2007 9:15 AM
Anonymous said... Whatever happened with you and Flea? After Inside Pulse, no mention of him.
Flea appeared in the DOI column a few times. Shit happens. When the time is right I'll get into it.
August 27, 2007 9:28 AM
Anonymous said... Not sure this is something you can comment on, but since you are about the same age I am, I'm wondering if you've noticed lately that there does not seem to be anything "new" or "innovative" being done in pop culture (or in general) anymore. I thought that perhaps it was just me being jaded as I get older, but as I watch TV or a movie with my daughter, I am predicting everything that happens BEFORE it happens. She'll get a CD and I can tell her after listening once which songs will get played on the radio. Radio DJ's do the same old schtick, including Stern recycling himself. Tyler "medea" Perry = martin lawrence = Flip Wilson Lindsey Lohan = Drew Barrymore Shakira = Charro. Hope you can find someone to publish your book, just to see something different out there. I think they have medicated this generation's version of Bukowski or Hunter S. Thompson, or sent them to rehab to many times. Krunchy
Good stuff. I think anything "new" has taken a backseat to improving on the current. Why create the next big thing when pretty soon we'll all have televisions that make us feels like we are at the football game. That High Def is serious stuff!
Seriously, the Internet right here is just starting to rearrange our lives. Ten years ago it was unthinkable to talk to anyone from another state without a phone, nowadays, getting someone to call you is like pulling fucking teeth.
Technology is improving shit so fast that we don't have time to ease back and find something new.
And it's all so we can get laid in new, creative ways.
I'll bore you all to tears in greater detail later on.
August 27, 2007 12:30 PM
Amy said... Write about the real life person that you know who would make a great character for a book or the girl who got away.
Amy... April... Lindsay... Allison... Kim... Tess... Desi (?)... Gloomie (??).... seems that Ladies STILL Love Cool Hy... heh... ho.
One day soon I'll tell you about Ham Slow. Absolutley drop dead gorgeous black girl I know. I'll tell you about Stefanie too. And Biola. Biola is a trip.
August 27, 2007 3:08 PM
Anonymous said... Not really writing something, but pointing out one of your previous writings ... specifically, the article where you first revealed that you were IM'ing Trish Stratus. I've looked all over the DOI archives for it, but (apparently) it's disappeared ...
Ah, the StratusFesto. Well, about 60% into my run at DOI someone hacked the site and Sean couldn't recover what was lost, so a good chunk of my columns vanished... and that went out with them.
I never keep these things, I'm afraid. Sorry.
That was an awesome piece too. Stratus herself said it made her cry. As well as it should!!
Sorry.
August 27, 2007 4:45 PM
Anonymous said... Here's my question: What's the secret of life? Fascinated to hear how you would answer this.
Yeah, do whatever you want so long as it makes you about s happy as you could possibly be which is never 100% - I don't care who you are. NO ONE is 100% happy.
The only rule is to NOT let whatever it takes to make you happy ruin another person's happiness.
If watching wrestling and buying wrestling t-shirts, and blowing all the paycheck on ROH DVDs and wearing Mom's underwear while parading around in your WCW Television championship replica that you bought on E-Bay makes you happy, then go for it.
Easy.
August 28, 2007 12:26 AM
Relevance said.... It seems like you are being completely open and honest with the maybe 100 of us still around or fortunate to find you. Since you have such a limited fanbase now, do you feel comfortable telling us what do you do for a living? I was fortunate a few years back to "interview" you, and you had said you were a house sitter. Is this still your job? (nothing too specific mind you, just curious) College? Post Grad? High School?
You're the dude with that "Broken Crate" interview thing that managed to stay on top of google search for so long?? Wow, Widro was, like, SO JEALOUS of you for years!!
Yes, I google my name from time to time... blow me.
You know, I'll tell you what I do in due time. This is new territory for me. Let me ease into stuff.
But since you all have been so cool... and seem a bit interested, I'll let loose one of my secrets... it's a small one, but a big step for Daddy here.
I'm 37 years old, but I LOOK 32 and I ACT 25 and I have sex like a... umm... 29 year old?
Heh... I'm oldz.
Anyway, I'll show up later on with something of substance. Keep asking me what you would like to hear me talk about. And if you just read this thing and don't want to comment, not a prob, enjoy yourself. Easy living here.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
All the questions answered.
1)August 19, 2007 1:48 PM
Anonymous asks... What was the whole situation with you and Sean Shannon.
Hasn't this been covered a few million times already?
Sean was a kid who hung around the right web writers and started a "no rules, sky's the limit" website named the NWWWO. I made a crack about him in the Mop-Up recap. He responded with a full column dedicated to me. I made another crack. He decicated ANOTHER full column to me. I e-mailed him asking how far he wanted to go with this. I forget what the hell he said but it was looooong. And then, because I was a terror who wrote 5 hours worth of recaps filled with rude jokes and evil comments all in one sitting while guzzling through two-three POTS of blacker than Africa coffee. I started ragging on him and didn't stop until... like... 20 months later.
During this feud, which Sean was clearly NOT cut out for but stubborn pride kept him from stopping, I ragged on him, his family, his virginity, his gayness, his friends, his piss poor writing, everything... everything. I made it personal and he took the bait and I am CONVINCED that my name was a topic of conversation around the Sean Shannon family dinner table. Probably reaching a crescendo around the time I found his phone number and called him and told him "I'm your worst nightmare," or some such. In fact, the conversation went like this:
(Female voice) "Hello?"
Me: "Is Sean there?"
(Female voice) "Oh..." (which clued me in on the fact that Sean wasn't one to receive many phone calls) "One moment..."
(brief pause... voices... commotion)
Sean: "Hello?"
Me: "Is this Sean?"
Sean: "Who is this?"
Me: "Is this Sean 'Slym' Shannon from the NWWWO?"
Sean: "......"
Me: "......"
Sean: "WHO IS THIS?"
Me: "Well this is your worst nightmare pal!! I'm gonna..."
Sean: *CLICK*
He was a fun target.
Sean quit writing about wrestling after Steve Corino invited him to step into the ring after one pissy, negative ECW recap too many. Rather than simply say, "Fuck off, Corino. I write what I think and tough shit if you don't like it. You're paid to perform on stage and I have a forum to critique it." He claimed he was born with "spinal bifida" and could NEVER take a bump like that. That hunking slice of bullshit pretty much did the kid in.
The adventures of Sean didn't stop after I left him alone and he left the business of talking wrestling. He opened up his blog site and for the past five years or so has reached new heights in self-loathing. If you read his blog you WILL have no choice but to take stock of your own life and say, "Hmm, not bad!"
Over the last 5 years of bloggery, I have learned the following about Sean Shannon:
1) He's a female trapped in a male body. I kid you not.
2) He's nearing 30 years old and he has owned exactly one car... a used Toyota... and it has yet to run well.
3) He's nearing 30 years old (and actually may have passed it by now) and STILL LIVES AT HOME.
4) He went back to college, joined the Gay Club, became something of an important officer there, and within two semester ended up being hated by everyone there.
5) He's into bondage
6) He's a fiend for that video dancing thing.
7) He's always off diet.
8) He had to buy a video dancing machine for his home because too many people at the arcade thought he was "creepy"
9) He looks like a girl shaped like a bowling pin.
10) I'm fairly sure his Dad hates him.
11) He has no clue how to have a social life.
12) He can't afford the surgery to turn him into a woman. Damn this world.
13) After 5 years of blogging and BEGGING for comments, even going so far as to open his own message board, he rarely, if ever gets a comment.
My all time favorite Sean Shannon.org moment is when he spent WEEKS talking about a birthday party he was throwing for himself, using the blog to say when and where and how much FUN he had planned. Well, his birthday came and went and the very next day he wrote:
"Well, I arrived to the restaurant for my birthday party and of course, no one showed up."
And that sentence sums up Sean Shannon perfectly.
2) August 19, 2007 4:44 PM
Anonymous asks... How would you reform economics?
August 19, 2007 4:54 PM
Anonymous asks... Would you ever suck Dave Scherer's cock?
August 19, 2007 5:04 PM
Anonymous asks... Tiny TIm has his on board on the DOI...what do you think of that stupid gimp?
I told you people, ONE QUESTION PER CUSTOMER FOR THE 18 HOUR SHOOT. Look at the time of these posts. He asked a question, asked another one a minute later, then asked a third ten minutes later. If you're going to try to scam me, please be smarter about it.
I would hire top accountants to do it. No. I don't pay attention to "Tiny Tim" or his board.
And that wraps up all the questions... but a few more have popped up so why not answer some more:
August 20, 2007 12:50 PM
Relevance said... So, moving on from your wrestling heyday- you say you are writing a comedy fiction story. Isn't the market super saturated? How will yours stand out? Are you going to allow us to pre-read some of it? Do you need a cover?
Well, it'll stand out because it's a spin on a genre which has this formula that is SUPER SUPER saturated. I'll get into that more when I feel more comfortable talking about it.
Plus, it's my humor + my wit + an honest to goodness plot that won't be obvious from page one.
I don't know about leaking out bits and pieces of it, and "cover art" is something I'll worry about when someone buys the thing.
You want a cocktease? Okay, I have just finished the chapter where my hero hired a crackhead black guy to raise hell with a bunch of strange dudes. The crackhead was beaten up and tossed out. The Hero, named Crash, avoided a mob of strangely feminine dudes, ran into their gym, and after having a standoff with John Lennon with a shotgun, confronted Roy Orbinson about his homosexual affair with a Jewish accountant. Crash wants his film back. He also learns the secret to these strange dudes and he sees the word "DAMP" for the second time.
There you go. Interested?
August 20, 2007 8:07 PM
Anonymous said... You mean the book isn't an exploitation of the Benoit situation like Keith is doing? Cash in now man! Don't let the silly Canuckians steal all the money.
I have nothing even remotely new or insightful to say about Chris Benoit. Neither does Scott, by the way. He gets these deals because he writes them almost for free.
August 24, 2007 1:08 PM
Lindsay said... Any regrets?
Yeah. I should've quit the column years ago. Let's face it, I wore out my welcome about four years ago. Instead of going out right on top, I let myself burn into the ground.
Don't feel the need to raise my spirits either. You know and I know I stayed much too long.
August 24, 2007 3:25 PM
Anonymous said... We need to know the full story on Trish and how you got to be her ebuddy. A to Z.
You know, that's a story that she can tell. I've said pretty much all I'm ever going to say about her.
The nice thing about this whole Trish thing is that it gave me a few months of killer column material.
One thing that never bothered me is that people sometimes say, "Hyatte got worked by a Trish imposter." Thing with that is, you can think what you want on that. I know the score, she knows the score, and no one else on the planet could possibly know the score... and it isn't like anything really happened.
If you want to know, Trish online has a wicked sense of humor and a real smart mouth. However, she always gives off the impression that you aren't a real person to her... just a screen name. I've been in chat rooms with her, it's how she talks to everyone. She doesn't do "real" conversations. She's all about small talk and chit-chat. It's not her fault. She spent the most social years of her life either posing for pictures, training for posing for pictures, or on the WWE endless work machine. I think she looks at everyone like, "What does this person want from me?" and is always on guard. No matter how many years you are "friends" with her, you'll always get just so far and never an inch farther.
I often wondered if all hot, famous girls are like that, and come to the conclusion that I'll never get to know another one to decide.
We always got along, and whenever she got bitchy or rude with me, I stopped e-mailing her and didn't talk to her for a while. It drove her CRAZY!!
By the way, Armed and Famous was a horrible show. Just a bad idea from the start. Luckily, I never watched it.
August 25, 2007 3:35 AM
Anonymous said... Whst's in Gloomchen's trunk underneath her bed?
Sex toys. But the REAL story behind that is that her boyfriend of several years never knew about it or asked about it or even suggested that they bring some toys into the ol' bedroom to liven things up.
Gloomie is an interesting story, and since she spent a good chunk of time yammering about me to anyone who would listen while I stayed nice and quiet, I sometimes wonder if I owe her a nice "My side of the story" story. However, we exchanged notes some time ago, I explained to her in perfect clarity that if she didn't shut her face I would unload on her, her family, and her new husband. She has since seen the futilty of continuing (plus she got over it) and moved on. So I'll leave it at that.
Oh, and if you read her blog with any degree of consistency, without commenting or saying anything about it, you are a "stalker" in her eyes. It's the first time someone from half a country away had called me a stalker without me even leaving my home. Cool.
August 25, 2007 3:36 AM
Anonymous said...How's Grut doing? Have you spoke to him since your feud?
I imagine he's still toiling away at that no man's land known as "Inside Pulse". No, Josh Grut is completely out of my universe and it's staying that way.
By the way, there was never a "feud" with me and him. Lord knows he tried to get one going, but I wasn't biting.
Okay... all the questions are answered. Now I'm going to think about something new to write about. Anything in particular you want me to write about?
Anonymous asks... What was the whole situation with you and Sean Shannon.
Hasn't this been covered a few million times already?
Sean was a kid who hung around the right web writers and started a "no rules, sky's the limit" website named the NWWWO. I made a crack about him in the Mop-Up recap. He responded with a full column dedicated to me. I made another crack. He decicated ANOTHER full column to me. I e-mailed him asking how far he wanted to go with this. I forget what the hell he said but it was looooong. And then, because I was a terror who wrote 5 hours worth of recaps filled with rude jokes and evil comments all in one sitting while guzzling through two-three POTS of blacker than Africa coffee. I started ragging on him and didn't stop until... like... 20 months later.
During this feud, which Sean was clearly NOT cut out for but stubborn pride kept him from stopping, I ragged on him, his family, his virginity, his gayness, his friends, his piss poor writing, everything... everything. I made it personal and he took the bait and I am CONVINCED that my name was a topic of conversation around the Sean Shannon family dinner table. Probably reaching a crescendo around the time I found his phone number and called him and told him "I'm your worst nightmare," or some such. In fact, the conversation went like this:
(Female voice) "Hello?"
Me: "Is Sean there?"
(Female voice) "Oh..." (which clued me in on the fact that Sean wasn't one to receive many phone calls) "One moment..."
(brief pause... voices... commotion)
Sean: "Hello?"
Me: "Is this Sean?"
Sean: "Who is this?"
Me: "Is this Sean 'Slym' Shannon from the NWWWO?"
Sean: "......"
Me: "......"
Sean: "WHO IS THIS?"
Me: "Well this is your worst nightmare pal!! I'm gonna..."
Sean: *CLICK*
He was a fun target.
Sean quit writing about wrestling after Steve Corino invited him to step into the ring after one pissy, negative ECW recap too many. Rather than simply say, "Fuck off, Corino. I write what I think and tough shit if you don't like it. You're paid to perform on stage and I have a forum to critique it." He claimed he was born with "spinal bifida" and could NEVER take a bump like that. That hunking slice of bullshit pretty much did the kid in.
The adventures of Sean didn't stop after I left him alone and he left the business of talking wrestling. He opened up his blog site and for the past five years or so has reached new heights in self-loathing. If you read his blog you WILL have no choice but to take stock of your own life and say, "Hmm, not bad!"
Over the last 5 years of bloggery, I have learned the following about Sean Shannon:
1) He's a female trapped in a male body. I kid you not.
2) He's nearing 30 years old and he has owned exactly one car... a used Toyota... and it has yet to run well.
3) He's nearing 30 years old (and actually may have passed it by now) and STILL LIVES AT HOME.
4) He went back to college, joined the Gay Club, became something of an important officer there, and within two semester ended up being hated by everyone there.
5) He's into bondage
6) He's a fiend for that video dancing thing.
7) He's always off diet.
8) He had to buy a video dancing machine for his home because too many people at the arcade thought he was "creepy"
9) He looks like a girl shaped like a bowling pin.
10) I'm fairly sure his Dad hates him.
11) He has no clue how to have a social life.
12) He can't afford the surgery to turn him into a woman. Damn this world.
13) After 5 years of blogging and BEGGING for comments, even going so far as to open his own message board, he rarely, if ever gets a comment.
My all time favorite Sean Shannon.org moment is when he spent WEEKS talking about a birthday party he was throwing for himself, using the blog to say when and where and how much FUN he had planned. Well, his birthday came and went and the very next day he wrote:
"Well, I arrived to the restaurant for my birthday party and of course, no one showed up."
And that sentence sums up Sean Shannon perfectly.
2) August 19, 2007 4:44 PM
Anonymous asks... How would you reform economics?
August 19, 2007 4:54 PM
Anonymous asks... Would you ever suck Dave Scherer's cock?
August 19, 2007 5:04 PM
Anonymous asks... Tiny TIm has his on board on the DOI...what do you think of that stupid gimp?
I told you people, ONE QUESTION PER CUSTOMER FOR THE 18 HOUR SHOOT. Look at the time of these posts. He asked a question, asked another one a minute later, then asked a third ten minutes later. If you're going to try to scam me, please be smarter about it.
I would hire top accountants to do it. No. I don't pay attention to "Tiny Tim" or his board.
And that wraps up all the questions... but a few more have popped up so why not answer some more:
August 20, 2007 12:50 PM
Relevance said... So, moving on from your wrestling heyday- you say you are writing a comedy fiction story. Isn't the market super saturated? How will yours stand out? Are you going to allow us to pre-read some of it? Do you need a cover?
Well, it'll stand out because it's a spin on a genre which has this formula that is SUPER SUPER saturated. I'll get into that more when I feel more comfortable talking about it.
Plus, it's my humor + my wit + an honest to goodness plot that won't be obvious from page one.
I don't know about leaking out bits and pieces of it, and "cover art" is something I'll worry about when someone buys the thing.
You want a cocktease? Okay, I have just finished the chapter where my hero hired a crackhead black guy to raise hell with a bunch of strange dudes. The crackhead was beaten up and tossed out. The Hero, named Crash, avoided a mob of strangely feminine dudes, ran into their gym, and after having a standoff with John Lennon with a shotgun, confronted Roy Orbinson about his homosexual affair with a Jewish accountant. Crash wants his film back. He also learns the secret to these strange dudes and he sees the word "DAMP" for the second time.
There you go. Interested?
August 20, 2007 8:07 PM
Anonymous said... You mean the book isn't an exploitation of the Benoit situation like Keith is doing? Cash in now man! Don't let the silly Canuckians steal all the money.
I have nothing even remotely new or insightful to say about Chris Benoit. Neither does Scott, by the way. He gets these deals because he writes them almost for free.
August 24, 2007 1:08 PM
Lindsay said... Any regrets?
Yeah. I should've quit the column years ago. Let's face it, I wore out my welcome about four years ago. Instead of going out right on top, I let myself burn into the ground.
Don't feel the need to raise my spirits either. You know and I know I stayed much too long.
August 24, 2007 3:25 PM
Anonymous said... We need to know the full story on Trish and how you got to be her ebuddy. A to Z.
You know, that's a story that she can tell. I've said pretty much all I'm ever going to say about her.
The nice thing about this whole Trish thing is that it gave me a few months of killer column material.
One thing that never bothered me is that people sometimes say, "Hyatte got worked by a Trish imposter." Thing with that is, you can think what you want on that. I know the score, she knows the score, and no one else on the planet could possibly know the score... and it isn't like anything really happened.
If you want to know, Trish online has a wicked sense of humor and a real smart mouth. However, she always gives off the impression that you aren't a real person to her... just a screen name. I've been in chat rooms with her, it's how she talks to everyone. She doesn't do "real" conversations. She's all about small talk and chit-chat. It's not her fault. She spent the most social years of her life either posing for pictures, training for posing for pictures, or on the WWE endless work machine. I think she looks at everyone like, "What does this person want from me?" and is always on guard. No matter how many years you are "friends" with her, you'll always get just so far and never an inch farther.
I often wondered if all hot, famous girls are like that, and come to the conclusion that I'll never get to know another one to decide.
We always got along, and whenever she got bitchy or rude with me, I stopped e-mailing her and didn't talk to her for a while. It drove her CRAZY!!
By the way, Armed and Famous was a horrible show. Just a bad idea from the start. Luckily, I never watched it.
August 25, 2007 3:35 AM
Anonymous said... Whst's in Gloomchen's trunk underneath her bed?
Sex toys. But the REAL story behind that is that her boyfriend of several years never knew about it or asked about it or even suggested that they bring some toys into the ol' bedroom to liven things up.
Gloomie is an interesting story, and since she spent a good chunk of time yammering about me to anyone who would listen while I stayed nice and quiet, I sometimes wonder if I owe her a nice "My side of the story" story. However, we exchanged notes some time ago, I explained to her in perfect clarity that if she didn't shut her face I would unload on her, her family, and her new husband. She has since seen the futilty of continuing (plus she got over it) and moved on. So I'll leave it at that.
Oh, and if you read her blog with any degree of consistency, without commenting or saying anything about it, you are a "stalker" in her eyes. It's the first time someone from half a country away had called me a stalker without me even leaving my home. Cool.
August 25, 2007 3:36 AM
Anonymous said...How's Grut doing? Have you spoke to him since your feud?
I imagine he's still toiling away at that no man's land known as "Inside Pulse". No, Josh Grut is completely out of my universe and it's staying that way.
By the way, there was never a "feud" with me and him. Lord knows he tried to get one going, but I wasn't biting.
Okay... all the questions are answered. Now I'm going to think about something new to write about. Anything in particular you want me to write about?
Thursday, August 23, 2007
18 Hour Shoot: two more questions
April Hunter prefers having me online.
The key to her is that she isn't into flirting. Treat her with class and she'll loosen right up. Nice girl.
Do you realize that Fergie's solo CD has spent almost a FULL YEAR in the top twenty sales, and mostly in the top ten? She's a bonafide superstar now.
And she's a meth-head... which means you can get her high and do her ass with no lube. God Bless us all.
What I like about her is that her face looks smudged, like it was left in the rain for a few minutes before the ink could dry. That's some hard living on that mush. And she wears falsies. Aces.
Let's answer some more questions:
1) August 19, 2007 8:32 AM
Anonymous asks... Will we ever get to read Independence on a Saturday Night?
I hate to say never, but probably never.
Did I ever get around to bragging like an asshole about the plot? Well...
And Another Thing: Independence on a Saturday Night is (was/willbe/whothefuckknows) about a day in the life of an Indy promoter. The day is Saturday and the end will be his monthly Indy show. I was going to do it 24 style where each chapter would be the time of day, starting at 6 am where one half of his tag team champions - a fat twin brother act - was calling from jail where he got picked up for not paying child support. The guy is a moron with a habit of making up new words on the spot. So the hero's day begins then.
Over the course of the story the hero hustles about town getting ready for the show, he yells at the stoner who was supposed to slip flyers in the local newspaper but got high instead, his chief ref is a drunk, his homegrown superstar is an arrogant fuckhead who crippled a young wrestler just starting out, but he has someone from the WWE coming in that night to offer him a development deal, he has an old time star coming in to work a special feature match, and his main diva/valet, who he thinks of as a little sister is knocked up and showing.
And he hires a mystery worker named "John Lee" for some reason.
There is also the "other" indy booker who tries to fuck the show up... and the mob-affiliated landlord who wants the rent.
Anyway, the story features and monster monologue where he convinces the Judge (a Saturday court hearing??? Welcome to the world of fiction!!) to release the deadbeat dad, ends up bailing him out (where he tries to leave the state before the show but has a fistfight with his twin brother and they ended up not wanting to work together), the old time ex-superstar (I was thinking Honky Tonk Man as my base) showing up drunk and bitchy and demanding more money and more money for his road dog who travels with him and is the only one he'll work with (hence the "special attraction") and "John Lee" being a shooter in the classic sense ("Hooker") who just totally mangles that arrogant up-and-comer in front of the scout. The climax has the mob send legbreakers to collect on the rent but the drunk, obnoxious veteran saving the day and beating ass. The end is a nice chat with the vets road dog who tells our hero to keep on going, because the entertainment is real, no matter how many people he's playing to... or bullshit like that.
I doubt it'll ever see the light of day for a lot of reasons: 1) It's fixing to be about 200 fucking pages, 2) My year at DOI showed to me just how unrealistic my scenario is, 3) I didn't want to get laughed at my the various Indy people who would've read it 4) My hero was TOO good... Indy promoters are generally cheap, dime-store skunks, 5) I could never figure out how our hero financed such a production every month, and 6) WHO HAS TIME TO WRITE 200 FUCKING PAGES OF FREE ENTERTAINMENT??? and 7) Indy feds are 99% former big deals working the circuit for a few bucks, my fed was 99% homegrown local talent.
I am willing to sacrifice a lot of reality for a story, but any point I was trying to make (and this story's main point was finding the love for pro wrestling no matter what the cost) would've gone down under a haze of non-believable plot elements.
So I canned it.
And there you have it.
August 19, 2007 12:53 PM
Relevance asks... Have you ever lent your name to someone else to post under, or have you ever written under a pseudo-pseudonym? (rumors abound that you are Flea, CRZ, Dusty, and Widro... God help us if any of that is true.)
No.
Once upon a time, years ago, and because we were TOTAL FAGGOTS... Flea and I gave up each other's AIM passwords. The only notable occurence is that the young lady with whom I was infatuated with (long time readers know her as "Amanda") always knew when she was talking to Flea and when she was talking to me. Trish Stratus got all paranoid once about the two of us swapping screen names and cussed out Flea... who cussed ME out, "I could buy and sell that bitch!!" he hollered. But other than that, nothing.
As for posting columns under an assumed name... or under someone else's name... well, let's break this down:
Flea: Flea writes like he talks. Flea talks like he's in his own world. You can't write like Flea because you would have to THINK like Flea, and there ain't a writer on the planet who can do that.
CRZ: Now really, do any of you think, for one single second, that I could POSSIBLY recap a two hour Raw and a three hour recap by typing every single minute detail right down from bell to bell? Where in my entire history online have I proven to be even REMOTELY capable of that?
Dusty the Fat Bitter Cat: He wrote too much like me in terms of outlook and attitude. If I were to try to do something like that, I'd be creativer enough to go in a completely different direction.
Widro: Boring as fuck. Widro never had anything to say and said it in as few words as possible.
Besides, if I was to write under someone else's name, there would be a payoff down the road. I'd be doing it for a reason and by now you would have known it. I never did anything special online unless the end result would be to add to the legend. What possible pay-off could there be for doing any of those guys?
I DID do a news column under Al Isaacs name for Scoops back in the day... and it caused a semi-major hysteria that scared Remy "The Slammer" Artiega shitless to the point where he had to add a bonus "Its me, lovable Hyatte!" coda at the end... which I LOATHED AND HATED! Remy was a douche. I recall announcing that Bob Ryder married Dave Scherer and goofed on Rick Scaia and Mike Samuda and said that Hyatte was an asshole and basically flipped off the Net in general (trust me, 9 years ago that was a HUGE deal). That was fun. I miss those days. I was a fucking bandit.
If you have no idea who Remy "The Slammer" Artiega is... or Al Isaacs... or Scoops... well, you're in company with roughly half the other people reading this. Don't worry about it.
We'll stop there. I'll post again real soon... or not.
The key to her is that she isn't into flirting. Treat her with class and she'll loosen right up. Nice girl.
Do you realize that Fergie's solo CD has spent almost a FULL YEAR in the top twenty sales, and mostly in the top ten? She's a bonafide superstar now.
And she's a meth-head... which means you can get her high and do her ass with no lube. God Bless us all.
What I like about her is that her face looks smudged, like it was left in the rain for a few minutes before the ink could dry. That's some hard living on that mush. And she wears falsies. Aces.
Let's answer some more questions:
1) August 19, 2007 8:32 AM
Anonymous asks... Will we ever get to read Independence on a Saturday Night?
I hate to say never, but probably never.
Did I ever get around to bragging like an asshole about the plot? Well...
And Another Thing: Independence on a Saturday Night is (was/willbe/whothefuckknows) about a day in the life of an Indy promoter. The day is Saturday and the end will be his monthly Indy show. I was going to do it 24 style where each chapter would be the time of day, starting at 6 am where one half of his tag team champions - a fat twin brother act - was calling from jail where he got picked up for not paying child support. The guy is a moron with a habit of making up new words on the spot. So the hero's day begins then.
Over the course of the story the hero hustles about town getting ready for the show, he yells at the stoner who was supposed to slip flyers in the local newspaper but got high instead, his chief ref is a drunk, his homegrown superstar is an arrogant fuckhead who crippled a young wrestler just starting out, but he has someone from the WWE coming in that night to offer him a development deal, he has an old time star coming in to work a special feature match, and his main diva/valet, who he thinks of as a little sister is knocked up and showing.
And he hires a mystery worker named "John Lee" for some reason.
There is also the "other" indy booker who tries to fuck the show up... and the mob-affiliated landlord who wants the rent.
Anyway, the story features and monster monologue where he convinces the Judge (a Saturday court hearing??? Welcome to the world of fiction!!) to release the deadbeat dad, ends up bailing him out (where he tries to leave the state before the show but has a fistfight with his twin brother and they ended up not wanting to work together), the old time ex-superstar (I was thinking Honky Tonk Man as my base) showing up drunk and bitchy and demanding more money and more money for his road dog who travels with him and is the only one he'll work with (hence the "special attraction") and "John Lee" being a shooter in the classic sense ("Hooker") who just totally mangles that arrogant up-and-comer in front of the scout. The climax has the mob send legbreakers to collect on the rent but the drunk, obnoxious veteran saving the day and beating ass. The end is a nice chat with the vets road dog who tells our hero to keep on going, because the entertainment is real, no matter how many people he's playing to... or bullshit like that.
I doubt it'll ever see the light of day for a lot of reasons: 1) It's fixing to be about 200 fucking pages, 2) My year at DOI showed to me just how unrealistic my scenario is, 3) I didn't want to get laughed at my the various Indy people who would've read it 4) My hero was TOO good... Indy promoters are generally cheap, dime-store skunks, 5) I could never figure out how our hero financed such a production every month, and 6) WHO HAS TIME TO WRITE 200 FUCKING PAGES OF FREE ENTERTAINMENT??? and 7) Indy feds are 99% former big deals working the circuit for a few bucks, my fed was 99% homegrown local talent.
I am willing to sacrifice a lot of reality for a story, but any point I was trying to make (and this story's main point was finding the love for pro wrestling no matter what the cost) would've gone down under a haze of non-believable plot elements.
So I canned it.
And there you have it.
August 19, 2007 12:53 PM
Relevance asks... Have you ever lent your name to someone else to post under, or have you ever written under a pseudo-pseudonym? (rumors abound that you are Flea, CRZ, Dusty, and Widro... God help us if any of that is true.)
No.
Once upon a time, years ago, and because we were TOTAL FAGGOTS... Flea and I gave up each other's AIM passwords. The only notable occurence is that the young lady with whom I was infatuated with (long time readers know her as "Amanda") always knew when she was talking to Flea and when she was talking to me. Trish Stratus got all paranoid once about the two of us swapping screen names and cussed out Flea... who cussed ME out, "I could buy and sell that bitch!!" he hollered. But other than that, nothing.
As for posting columns under an assumed name... or under someone else's name... well, let's break this down:
Flea: Flea writes like he talks. Flea talks like he's in his own world. You can't write like Flea because you would have to THINK like Flea, and there ain't a writer on the planet who can do that.
CRZ: Now really, do any of you think, for one single second, that I could POSSIBLY recap a two hour Raw and a three hour recap by typing every single minute detail right down from bell to bell? Where in my entire history online have I proven to be even REMOTELY capable of that?
Dusty the Fat Bitter Cat: He wrote too much like me in terms of outlook and attitude. If I were to try to do something like that, I'd be creativer enough to go in a completely different direction.
Widro: Boring as fuck. Widro never had anything to say and said it in as few words as possible.
Besides, if I was to write under someone else's name, there would be a payoff down the road. I'd be doing it for a reason and by now you would have known it. I never did anything special online unless the end result would be to add to the legend. What possible pay-off could there be for doing any of those guys?
I DID do a news column under Al Isaacs name for Scoops back in the day... and it caused a semi-major hysteria that scared Remy "The Slammer" Artiega shitless to the point where he had to add a bonus "Its me, lovable Hyatte!" coda at the end... which I LOATHED AND HATED! Remy was a douche. I recall announcing that Bob Ryder married Dave Scherer and goofed on Rick Scaia and Mike Samuda and said that Hyatte was an asshole and basically flipped off the Net in general (trust me, 9 years ago that was a HUGE deal). That was fun. I miss those days. I was a fucking bandit.
If you have no idea who Remy "The Slammer" Artiega is... or Al Isaacs... or Scoops... well, you're in company with roughly half the other people reading this. Don't worry about it.
We'll stop there. I'll post again real soon... or not.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
of egos and blogs and prima donnas
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Aw crap...
Fine, I'll keep it.
50 was the magic number, BTW... because under Internet Guidelines, you add the number of comments by doubling them, then cutting the comments in half and adding those in. So I'm looking at around 150 people. I'm happy with that.
Thanks.
Here's what we'll do. Tomorrow I'll tell you what you'll see here and what you won't see and what I'll try to accomplish here. In the meantime, let's try a new sort of feature.
We'll call it: The 18 Hour Shoot.
It is now 12:30 my time. That's Sunday morning. The comments section is on. You have until 6:30 pm Sunday evening to use the comments to ask me absolutely anything. I don't care. Wrestling, TV, Movies, Girls, myself, people, sports, current events... whatever you want. At 6:30 I close the comments and answer as openly as I feel like.
This is NOT GUIDE TO LIFE. I'm not going to tell you how to ask out that chick at work. I'll do Guide to Life stuff as time goes on, but this is straight questions about whatever you want. You're here, you want me around. It ain't for my looks. You want my opinions. Shoot.
What I like about this is that you'll never know when I'll run it. So stay on your toes and be on the lookout.
Oh, and ONE QUESTION PER CUSTOMER. Anonymous posting is, of course, allowed so I am putting you on the honor system here.
Okay. You have 18 hours. Shoot.
50 was the magic number, BTW... because under Internet Guidelines, you add the number of comments by doubling them, then cutting the comments in half and adding those in. So I'm looking at around 150 people. I'm happy with that.
Thanks.
Here's what we'll do. Tomorrow I'll tell you what you'll see here and what you won't see and what I'll try to accomplish here. In the meantime, let's try a new sort of feature.
We'll call it: The 18 Hour Shoot.
It is now 12:30 my time. That's Sunday morning. The comments section is on. You have until 6:30 pm Sunday evening to use the comments to ask me absolutely anything. I don't care. Wrestling, TV, Movies, Girls, myself, people, sports, current events... whatever you want. At 6:30 I close the comments and answer as openly as I feel like.
This is NOT GUIDE TO LIFE. I'm not going to tell you how to ask out that chick at work. I'll do Guide to Life stuff as time goes on, but this is straight questions about whatever you want. You're here, you want me around. It ain't for my looks. You want my opinions. Shoot.
What I like about this is that you'll never know when I'll run it. So stay on your toes and be on the lookout.
Oh, and ONE QUESTION PER CUSTOMER. Anonymous posting is, of course, allowed so I am putting you on the honor system here.
Okay. You have 18 hours. Shoot.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Back
Okay so here's the deal.
I destroyed this blog because I was tired of having it around. It wasn't serving me any sort of useful purpose.
However, only a few people ever read the thing, and the ones who did have been asking me why I killed it, and insinuated that it was missed. Not sure why, I hardly put anything in here, and usually deleted stuff left and right. But I guess it was fun reading my secret messages.
SO, for the small handful of people (and trust me, its exactly how I like it) who read this... if you still click this after it's deletion for a week and change, I offer this:
If you like me to keep this, tell me. I'll keep the comment section on and will allow anonymous posting, so you can tell me what YOU, the small group of people who read this, want.
If a few weeks go by and no one says anything, then I'll remove this from the already crowded cyberspace.
Fair? Tell me what you want.
Edit: This isn't me looking for an ego rub. Well... it damn sure LOOKS like one of those standard Internet "Do you love me"? tricks. I swear, all this is is to see how many people I would be catering too. I mean, a small handful is all I want but not a SMALL, small handful.
Still don't have MySpace and only joined Facebook to see what it was like. I never go there and I don't even use my real name... and oddly enough, the first person to invite me as a buddy, or something, was Scott Keith of all people! Weird.
Anyway, don't look for me at Facebook. That was just an experiment that I couldn't delete.
Oh... and 230 pages down. About ten chapters to go. Then it goes to the typewriter.
I destroyed this blog because I was tired of having it around. It wasn't serving me any sort of useful purpose.
However, only a few people ever read the thing, and the ones who did have been asking me why I killed it, and insinuated that it was missed. Not sure why, I hardly put anything in here, and usually deleted stuff left and right. But I guess it was fun reading my secret messages.
SO, for the small handful of people (and trust me, its exactly how I like it) who read this... if you still click this after it's deletion for a week and change, I offer this:
If you like me to keep this, tell me. I'll keep the comment section on and will allow anonymous posting, so you can tell me what YOU, the small group of people who read this, want.
If a few weeks go by and no one says anything, then I'll remove this from the already crowded cyberspace.
Fair? Tell me what you want.
Edit: This isn't me looking for an ego rub. Well... it damn sure LOOKS like one of those standard Internet "Do you love me"? tricks. I swear, all this is is to see how many people I would be catering too. I mean, a small handful is all I want but not a SMALL, small handful.
Still don't have MySpace and only joined Facebook to see what it was like. I never go there and I don't even use my real name... and oddly enough, the first person to invite me as a buddy, or something, was Scott Keith of all people! Weird.
Anyway, don't look for me at Facebook. That was just an experiment that I couldn't delete.
Oh... and 230 pages down. About ten chapters to go. Then it goes to the typewriter.
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