Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Busted July (Updated 9/29 1:00 pm)

Even with all the bullshit posts - that are fun to read but really doesn't need my involvement - I have a SHITLOAD of catching up to do.

And right now, these days, I'm very very busy... and very, very gay, apparently.

So just hang loose and I'll play catch up whenever I can. Just as soon as I get this cock out of my mouth.

And here's a fresh comment board for you. Nice and easy.


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Two weeks behind. I'm so two thousand late.

Then again, remember when I used to be 2-4 MONTHS behind?? Perspective, pplz

301) July 17, 2009 10:01 AM... From That British Fan Forum said...

Harsh.

"Home Improvement has not aged well, and Chris Hyatte is about as funny as Tim Allen. At least Tim Allen would be fun to party with.
"

Harsh... was that sarcasm? Is that supposed to be a crack? I'm about as funny as a major comedian whose awfully successful show which still runs on TV Land and generates TONS of residuals. I'm being compared to THAT? And its supposed to be "harsh"?

This is why I never went back there for seconds. There "comebacks" were pathetic. "OH, THAT BLOODY SOT IS NO BETTER THAN... THAN... TIM ALLEN!!! AYE, THAT'LL SHOW HIM NOT TO MESS WITH US!!" Or they bitched because I didn't open a heathly debate over gay rights in the states. Oh bollocks to that.

And by the way, "Home Improvement" is timeless. Watch any given show and you'll always laugh at least once.

Lame asses over there. I tried to get them going and they bloody well put the whole thread in a coma.

302) July 17, 2009 10:54 AM... Anonymous said... What? Oh yes, comparing him to Tim Allen. Saying Allen would be more fun to party with Real nice burn. Hyatte just got served.

You need to put in eye rolling emoticons here, Hy-Rate.


Yeah... no.


303) July 17, 2009 3:46 PM... richardrh said... RE: Hyatte dying Maybe i'm the only one thinking this (well aside from the original poster--if im right)...

But wasn't the first Hyatte is dead post meant to mean that the "Old Hyatte", who never would have retracted the Keller story, died, and not Hyatte himself dying?

That's what I thought initially, but then all the clowns were going on about you really being dead (joking or not), so i didnt want to spoil anything.



Ahh, the old Hyatte is dead, huh? I didn't see that angle either. Makes sense.

And sir, I now think that YOU were the anonymous culprit who started this death game. I suspect YOU were the one to say RIP... and then sat back amazed that no one picked up on your real intent. Confess Richard, and be judged by your peers.

And the Old Hyatte probably wouldn't have pulled it. His nervous, asinine site owners would have done it for him, without him asking. And then Widro and I would fight about it for 3 days while he cried about never getting laid. Ahh, the early aughts. That was a time.


304) July 17, 2009 5:24 PMstewie said... "267) July 10, 2009 1:23 PM... Anonymous said... Who gets custody of Patricia? ... okay, this was me. And the answer, of course, is Stewie gets her." !!!!!!! Let's get this in legalish writing, like with signatures and notaries and so on. Any lawyers out there want to do me a favour?

Stewie, you won't believe this, but trust me, you wouldn't want her. She's a bit of a basket case.


305) July 18, 2009 2:30 PM... Anonymous said... I kinda wonder if you could maybe delete the comments you answer from here? Would just make it easier for us, but no big deal. Thanks for this though - quality entertainment.

I will not delete comments. There are a lot of folks who remember to show up once a month or so and I want them to see what they missed. You regulars just need to scroll UP and read from the most recent to wherever you left off.

306) July 18, 2009 7:32 PM... richardrh said... Hyatte, Any thoughts on the Erin Andrews nude hotel tape?

Not really, but it makes me feels better that there are a shitload of people out there waaaaay creepier than me.

If whoever made that peephole tape is older than 30, then he should be thrown in prison... and not in Gen pop either, no...

Remember in The Shawshank Redemption when the warden threatened that if Tim Robbins didn't mind his P's and Q's and kept his mouth shut, he would throw him in the basement of the prison with all the perverts and sodomites? Remember how eerie that threat was? Well, if the peeper is caught and he's this 30 something freak... I want him tossed in the basement. TOSS HIM!!

HOW CAN YOU BE SO OBTUSE???

307) July 19, 2009 8:19 PM... Buzzed Aldrin said... I've been to the moon and seen the stars...but all I want is Uranus

What's up, Flea. Still saving all the thoughtful stuff for CRZ's "weinerboard" I see. Tell Justin Shapiro (if you can get his cock out of your mouth long enough, that is) Hyatte says you're welcome for creating his entire act whenever he covers for Todd Martin for Meltzer's Raw recap.

308) July 20, 2009 12:45 AM... Anonymous said... Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, oooooooooooooo... Got make it right, tonight, tonight, tonight, oooooooooooooooooo...

Broken promises much Hyatte?


I have no clue what you are referring to... but yeah, pretty much... and yet oddly enough, when I give my word, it's always a done deal. A man's word is everything. Women, not so much.

309) July 20, 2009 10:13 AM... Numan said... Decor on this blog has always been vile. Make you wonder what Hyatte's place must look like. I bet 1970s flower wallpaper, the occasional coffee stain, no mirrors, and a single Trish Stratus poster... laminated for easy wipe-off cleaning.

Decor on this blog is courtesy of the VERY LIMITED choices blogspot gives you when you want to change things up. And I am NOT going to put forth hours and effort to build my own. I take what I have available and pick the least boring one.

I sort of miss the lighthouse landscape. It was mellowing. Spark a doobie and wwatch the ocean sort of thing.

My place is laid back and clean, except for the bird's room. And I throw in all the old furniture in there so he can spend the day chewing shit up and being occupied.

I have mirrors, assface. Fuck you!

No Stratus posters... they don't do anything for me because I always look at them and wonder where the hell is the girl's neck? If you want to see what TRUE obsessed Trish fans are like, go to her MySpace page and read her wall.


310) July 20, 2009 12:09 PM... Anonymous said... Guys- did anyone catch the newest Article in the Bristol paper? http://eastbayri.com/town/bristol/chrisgatreaux.html

... okay...

There is nothing to that link it goes nowhere... like your sperm when you jack off, it goes NO WHERE.

My last name has no X in it. None. Jesus.

And I am in Northern Rhode Island, Bristol is mid-southern. I know, it's a teeny state so it's not like L.A to Sacremento... but I'm far enough to not be on the radar of Bristol's main penny saver.

The sad thing is, this is the best some of you can do to get to me here.


311) July 20, 2009 2:58 PM... Truth, Inc. said...

And now, an exclusive. I'm going to reveal three facts about Chris Hyatte.

His real name. His address. And where he works.

No joke. All real. All here.

...
...
...

And I'll finish this up tonight.



Yeah, here's another one. Here's one fact about Truth. Inc. My own fucking exclusive:

He wanted to scare me into going into Moderate Comments Mode so I could blow out any sort of revelation I thought he could possibly have. He wanted to get me all paranoid and shit.

I called his bluff and he never dropped any bombs... because he doesn't have any.

People... people, people, people.... some of you still think you can outfox me. I am 5 steps ahead of all of you at all times. My identity is 100% protected with not a single hole by which to squirm through and causer shit.

None of you assholes frighten me in the slightest.

But some of you DO have the ability to mess with my head for about 10 minutes... like this next post.


312) July 20, 2009 5:04 PM... Anonymous said... bored of your shit now Chris. how about you make the effort for once. you know where i am. last week was not you at your best. try again.

I have no idea who this is... but it could be one of three people... all women, well... GIRLS (one of them needs to grow up). So obviously, its some DUDE who's just bored... and effeminate.

313) July 20, 2009 8:46 PM... Anonymous said... While it has been labeled as a "personal leave", Dixie Carter ordered Jeff Jarrett to go home following the mysterious call on the Bubba the Love Sponge Show that stated that Jarrett and Karen Angle were now together. -- i didn't think it was possible to get me to watch wrestling again.

p.s. - i wish you had died.

luv,

your fake ex-wife.


You know, I was thinking, "It's fucking Russo! It's a WORK!" Because Russo has always been obsessed with mixing real with carny. But then I was reminded that Karen Angle is an ex-stripper... and them girls are a strange bunch... and don't really have anything in terms of morals. And once they find a sugar daddy to take them off the pole, they will do anything to stay off it and keep the lifestyle they had.

So it could very well be legit. We'll see.

There are no negatives here! Jarrett stays off TV so we don't have to watch them try to put him over while the audience snores away. Angle comes back home to the WWE and gets a light schedule and we get a shitload of dream matches revisited as the greatest wrestler of our time returns. And we get the fun of watching this drama unfold which may end with Jeff Jarrett being thrown out of the company HE FOUNDED!! Out on his ASS.

Wins all around.

314) July 21, 2009 3:47 AM... been down since the red and black, but I liked the blue and yellow redesign better. said... Hy-rate, Dude, I just wrote a REALLY long comment, and my drunk ass put it in the wrong month. GODDAMBNIT!! Can you move it for me, or even put it up where I posted it so I can cut and paste? I thought that it was somthing that needed to be said in the comments. Thanks for your time.

Yeah, for the record, I wasn't about to cut and paste for you anyway. You make your own messes and by Christ you will clean them up.


315) July 21, 2009 4:24 AM... Anonymous said... It's in the May comments. Took me about 5 seconds to find and I'm totally baked... try harder fuckwad.

Just wanted to note that you made me laugh out loud legit with this post. Thank you, hippie stoner dude.

And with that, I am now only a week behind or so.

And next post... I'm going to slap a few of you around. Fucking clowns.

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