Do I have something to say here? Should I? Okay, how about the fact that I laugh every time you push me away. I laugh because it just proves that you can't believe anyone likes you for you and you're afraid I'll hurt you if I really got in there.
You don't like yourself very much and don't think anyone else can either.
It's your life, kid. Either fuck it up or make it better. I'll never stop believing in the good parts... no matter how many times you shove me away.
It's either this or I tell you to fuck off for the last time. You decide.
Heh... you don't have me figured out and you never will.
********
While some of you were watching Raw (2.8 rating, egads!) I was watching Monday Night Football.
Maybe one of the most exciting footballs games I've seen in years. This game just didn't stop being a heartstopper from kick-off to fieldgoal. It literally had everything you could possibly want in a football game.
And the heels won. (Any team Terrell Owens is on is the heel team, and I love the guy), they won when they shouldn't have. They won by a field goal kicked at the last second of the game, a 52 yeard field goal kicked, TWICE, by a rookie who's previous longest field goal was 47 yards in that same game.
And the entire city of Buffalo, which means the entire upper half of New York and parts of Canada, had their hearts broken in that split second.
And next week, Dallas - who knew they were lucky and want to avenge their lucky win take on the New England Patriots - who's QB, Tom Brady, had one of his worst performances last week against the Browns and HE wants to avenge that in a massive battle between two of the last three undefeated teams in the NFL.
This is going to be a Nuclear War.
This is why Soccer can suck America's dick.
********
TUESDAY
1) NCIS - No, I don't watch this show. This show is for old people. I've never seen a single episode and I can't tell you what it's about, other than Mark Harmon is in it.
Mark Harmon. I remember this guy from Flamingo Road. Anyone remember Flamingo Road? It was a good ol' fashioned night time soap opera. Mark Harmon got to fuck Morgan Fairchild and CHristina Raines (Who?) Morgan Fairchild ended up fucking everybody and I ejnded up getting serious scabs on my yoinkee from all the fucking tugging I did to Morgan Fairchild on TV.
I was 10 when Flamingo Road got going, and 12 when it stopped. That's a lot of fucking tugging.
Mark Harmon also was responsible for one of the coolest 1980 teen comedies ever put out... Summer School
Mark Harmon also died of Aids on the show St Elsewhere, where he had a homo mustache and fucked a LOT of girls.
Harom was also voted "People's Sexiest Man" once and did commericals for Coors beers
And Mark Harmon was in Chicago Hope, and he was a grumpy character. Always pissed off at someone, always annoyed. Plus he had a hard-core gambling problem and couldn't hang in Vegas for more than two hours without gambling away the deed to his house.
Mark Harmon has lasted in show business for 27 years without every really leaving mid-level TV work. That is really both sad and inspiring all at the same time.
He's not that good an actor either.
Ken Wahl looks at Mark Harmon's career and says, "SHIT, WHY COULDN'T I HAVE THAT LIFE???" Is Ken Wahl still guzzling vodka. Wiseguy was a really good show. Mark Harmon wasn't in it but Kevin Spacey was. This is another topic for another time, if ever.
But 27 years as a reliable handsome lead television actor gets you a respectful career and a obsene bank account, but Mark Harmon will never get invited to a P Diddy party. And the older ladies love him.
I think he beats his wife tho'. Just has that look.
You never catch me watching NCIS
2) Bones. I don't watch it. That chick has some really intense blue eyes, and possibly a penis. Just looks the type.
But I'm very happy that David Boreanaz found a steady gig after Angel went down. He's a likeable enough chap.
2) House. I'll watch the show, I like the show, I think Hugh Laurie is brilliant. I think it's hilarious watching Robert Sean Leonard go from handsome, young would-be leading man to the pudgy supporting character he is on this show, with a constantly bad haircut.
House peaked last year when they rolled out David Morse for a half season arc as a pissy cop who fucked up House's life just to out-bully him. The producers of the show took a real chance by making House the true bad guy in this fight. They also showed us, under no uncertain doubt, that the man is a junkie, stone cold junkie.
And he STAYED a junkie after the storyline was finished.
But this show is not DVD worthy for me, for a very simple reason. While the characters are great and unique, the weekly stories are always the same. Patient is sick, patient keeps getting sicker, House and his team spend all hour trying to figure out what's wrong, patient goes near death, in the last 8 minutes House finds a cure. Most times, the patient lives but every so often, the patient dies.
It's a GOOD premise, but once the mystery is solved I don't need to see it again. So House stays on my always be watching list, but I ain't gonna go buy the series.
3) ECW: What a bad show. What a show that reeks of the stench of apathy. This show is so bad you forget what a good color man Tazz really is. This show is so bad you can sometimes hear Joey Styles count his money live on-air.
CM Punk is the oddest looking dude in the business. One week he has a gut, the next it's flat and ripped (never too much). One week his legs shimmer like jell-o, the next... no, they always shimmer like jello.
And his HAIR... catch him in the right picture and you can see all that long hair receeding away... and does he ever shower?
And I still don't see why he's such a good wrestler. He's decent, but nothing great.
Here's what I LIKE about ECW: Big Daddy V's chest. Quite an adventure ride watching those pecs flap about.
And Kelly Kelly. Kelly Kelly is Johnny Ace's greatest find. She is not just beautiful, she's charismatic and has a naive, wholesome quality to her. If she ever decided to learn how to wrestle she would be HUGE. She's got "it"... without even trying she's got "it". Doesn't matter that she can hardly dance, she is still the unquestionable star of Extreme Expose. The other two girls HAVE to dance like psychopaths just to break anyone's attention off Kelly.
They should move her to Raw pronto. This girl is a star.
Anyway, I don't watch ECW for much longer than a few minutes a week. It's a depressing show. The fans are depressed. The announcers are depressed. Most of the wrestlers are depressed and the ones who aren't are just too high to be depressed... except for Punk... he's high on LIFE... and Big Macs.
The BIGGEST reason why I don't watch ECW is because of... of course...
4) Boston Legal:
Which I'll get to next blog.
*******
September 17, 2007 11:52 PM... Charles A said... So how close were we to Scoops.com becoming Hyatte.com? Speaking of Al am I the only one disappointed that he has stopped posting about wrestling.
Nah, Al would've sold Scoops to Ugo whether I was still there or not. Promises of big $$ were being thrown at everyone who owned a site back then and the Net seemed like a monster money making machine.
And it has become that for sites and concepts that appeal to a global audience. MySpace, Facebook, Yahoo, Google for chrissakes... all bazillion-dollar websites now.
But back in 2000, no one knew how to make money off wrestling sites. You really, REALLY think Scherer makes money off those pop-up ads? Well, maybe he might but not as much as he'll lose when someone finally figures out how to sue his ass.
Back in 2000, Al took a little money, handed over the rights, and when things didn't go down like he was told, he got out. He tried a internet comeback a few years ago, and brought the hell on earth that was FREAKBOY with him, but it didn't work out.
I'm not sure Al would be a huge deal these days. He was terribly positive, and SUCH a mark. I think I hurt him bad when I left. I don't think he ever got over it.
His wife was a bonafide hottie, though.
One day I got an e-mail from Jay Kirell (who?? One of those other Scoops writers who thought he was in league with me. Think Josh Grut circa-1998) which was part of a mass, staff-only e-mail with a crazy idea of EVERYONE should switch columns and take-over someone else's column but under the name of the regular writer. It was a big... umm... either Halloween or April Fool's gag.
Well, I watched as the day went on and all these writers signed up and said, "Wow, what a GREAT IDEA Jay! Awesome!! Cool!! And ideas started floating."
I didn't say anything.
And then Kirell wrote back and said something like, "So this guy can do Rich in KC's column, and Freakboy can do my column, and Bambi can do so and so's column, and I can do the Mop-Up, and Hyatte can do Freakboy's column and it'll freak EVERYONE out man!!
So I blew my stack and contributed an e-mail and told all of them to fuck off and suck my dick and no one gets to do my Mop-Ups and Jesus Christ, worry about your own columns rather than worrying about mine and FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU I'M THE STAR HERE!!!
At the time, I thought I was a big deal. So would you if you had signs with your name on it on wrestling shows.
Well, it got bad after that. Al chirped in and he was pissed and Freakboy tried to make peace and some girl who's name I forget e-mailed and basically said that I was a arrogant douchebag and there's no need for such hostility and eventually I had to do another letter and give them a ra ra I like my Scoops team and we rock speech and a few weeks later Al sent out a mass e-mail with some rules about working for Scoops and one of them was "Let Hyatte Be Hyatte". Which was cool.
You just don't get those days anymore.
I probably should've stuck with Scoops, through the editing (and they edited the SHIT out of my columns towards the end), for a couple of more yars, just to see what would've happened... but burn out is burn out and no matter what support staff I had, I was frying out fast. I probably would've ended up the same.
Al Issacs wouldn't have lasted in today's day and age without some major connections in the business.
October 8, 2007 3:17 PM Dan said... I love 411mania's ratings reports for RAW, Smackdown, etc. Ashish reports the rating and leaves it at that, which is useless. RAW got a 3.2 (or whatever). So what? That number is meaningless without putting it into any context, which he rarely does.
And what can I do about this? Ashish never paid attention to me even when I was making his site a huge deal.
Little nugget on Ashish Parabi - he isn't what you would call the sharpest knife in the drawer. He also has nothing that resembles an imagination.
October 9, 2007 11:17 AM JT said... Hi8, Ok, given the recent drop in WWE's ratings, the latest number for Raw was 2.8. Could you possibly do a Midnight News or some kind of rant on how you feel the "E" could improve (and TNA for that matter). We miss the improv, we miss the hysterical laughter we get from your columns. As a reader from the red stripe days (horray beer) I humbly ask you to consider a one off type blog where you get into the state of today's wrestling scene.
If you don't I understand, you are a well rounded individual with a life that doesn't revolve around "wrasslin" or "sports entertainment" but as a long time supporter, it would be nice. Thanks from a long time reader and admirer of your gift (not kissing your ass, just saying, I know you probably got jack and shit for your contribution over the years - heck you built most the sites you worked for. Would have never even gone to DOI if you weren't there). Thanks.
See, this is a perfect suck-up letter. He presents a topic, asks me to write about it in my style, then proceeds to remind me of how great I once was and how I made everyone's day and IF... MAYBE... POSSIBLY... I could do it again, would I?
No. And I don't RANT... neither does Scooter Keith, by the way. Horrible use of the verb.
They can change things around by hiring Hogan, Angle, Nash, Hall, the Rock, and Bret Hart and reforming the NWO. They also need to STOP WITH THE BACKSTAGE SKITS!! Those things are what most of those soap opera writers are there for. Brian Gerwitz could care less about wrestling.
I see no reason why Jonathon Coachman is still around.
Oh, and no more deaths.
If anyone has Shane Douglas in a death pool, I would keep an eye on him.
******
I need more questions.
*******
I'll be back
