No letters, no hidden messages, let's just talk about TELEVISION!!
MONDAYS
Well, I covered Raw, which is to say I can take it or leave it now. Although I WILL watch Melina, I mean, make a point to watch her. Can't she piss someone off so she's booked to make-out with someone hard for a few weeks, like Lita did with Edge.
But more times than not, Raw is my go-to show, unless the football game is really good, which is looking impossible since this year there are, like, 4 teams that are any good and the rest are already struggling.
But there are OTHER shows on the air, and I see Scooter Keith does his own form of ejaculating over most of them... so Mondays are apparenly a hot night for TV watching
But I don't watch them. Why? Because...
1) 24: I actually did a large write-up on this show last December in the Midnight News. It's buried somewhere in the middle of this column and I stand by the order of excellence.
However, for me, this is a DVD only show. I don't want to watch it weekly, I want CHUNKS!! LOTS AND LOTS OF CHUNKS.
So I wait for the DVD to come out. It helps me keep track of all the doings going on with the show too.
As for the show? I enjoy it. I don't LOVE IT... I LIKE IT. I think Keifer Sutherland whispers too damn much, and Bill Simmons has a theory that Sutherland makes sure they hire actors under 6 foot so he doesn't look so small, which is hilarious. Plus the DVDs have a lot of gnarly features, like DVD only featurettes that show what Jack Baur is doing between seasons... and sure, they are mostly CAR COMMERCIALS... but still, they're fun to watch.
That old column I linked... not bad stuff. In it there is a You Tube link to big time wrestling fuck-ups is still available to watch too.
2) Prison Break: I refuse to watch it for some reason. Probably because after the first season, where they achieved the goal of the show, there was nothing left other than to make MORE money off the audience. I don't care about the actors, the two of them look like pretty boy fags, and I see the DVDs sitting there and have nothing... NOTHING in the very essense of my being that's telling me to check it out.
I can't watch everything, nor do I want to, so some shows fall under the category of "It could be on for 20 years and win 10 million emmys and I'll never want to see it." This is one of them.
3) Heroes: Same thing as prison break. I'm just not that interested.
And you know what, it's too geeky for me. I was all over Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, and once every few months I hit the bookstore, grab a few comic trade paperbacks, and settle in-store for a few hours and read them, but my days of comic buying are over.
If I'm flipping around and any one of the Star Trek shows are on... unless Scott Bakula is in it, then chances are I'll watch. I embrace my inner-geek, but I will NOT feed him new stuff.
And I can tell with Heroes that it's going to be hot for a while, then it'll cool down, then it'll fade away quietly. That's the vibe I get from this show... that it'll end up disappointing its audience.
4) Heroes isn't DVD-worthy either because... because... BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WATCH THE LATEST FAD THING TO WATCH!!
Not all the time, anyway.
Plus Ali Larter has major luggage over her eyes. Give her jowls and about 30 pounds and she'll look like Trish Stratus
5) CBS Comedy Line-Up: Now I like myself a good comedy, but over the years, Monday nights on CBS have always been a "fun for the whole family" type of thing.
"Fun for the whole family"... does this concept even exist anymore? What I'm saying is does the programming idea: That a family - Mom, Dad, the teenager, the 12 year old, and the seven year old - all gather together after dinner and spend Monday evenings watching a couple of hours of inoffensive (except when Charlie Sheen is on-camera, then there is ALWAYS an air of seediness and danger) laughs? Shiut, that didn't happen when I was a kid. I can't imagine it happens now.
If it does, God bless it, but I don't see it happening. More likely the kids have their own TV in their rooms, Dad is downstairs watching football and Mom is maybe watching this with her youngest in the family room. These days, "family time" means that everyone's home and no one needs a ride to the mall.
Anyway, I never watched Everybody Loves Raymond and that was like, their biggest show ever. I'm not sure I can buy Doogie Howser being an extra-horny man-beast when he just recently came out of the closet, so How I Met Your Mother is out. I have absolutely no desire to see Charlie Sheen read lines, and I beleive I already talked about The King of Queens. So there you go.
6) CSI Miami. Why is this show so orange?
It's not Caruso's hair either, the show is filmed in bright, orange hues.
I tried this show in its first season and it was okay, but when a show's formula is a standard formula which is the primary reason for its success, then it is never changed.
It's just not for me. And its so BRIGHT.
Kim Delany was there for the first ten episodes of the season and her frizzy afro-hair PAID THE PRICE for filiming in the tropics that is Miami. I'm fairly convinced she left the show because of how her hair reacted to the humidity.
Plus she's apparently a fine ol' lush... or was, at least.
There's a joke about this show where Caruso's line reading is so lame, especially right before the opoening credits, that someone cobbled together a montage of Caruso reading some horrific line before the show jumps to the Who's "Won't get fooled again" opening. Go find it if you're interested.
Anything else for Mondays? No, I think I nailed it all.
