Quickly now...
-Who cares about Meatloaf's career anyway.
-I have no goals with this blog.
-fuck Queen, they got enough of my money and time to move along.
I'm drunk but not quite drunk, meaning I feel drunk now but that's cuz I'm cutting loose on the keyboard. Then I'm going out. No cop will look at me crosseyed tonight. Bingo on that.
"Your eyes are amazing." This was said to me sometime earlier today. by a black chick who had no reason to say it other than it WAS FUCKING TRUE!! AND SHE'S FUCKING RIGHT!!
And I can make them twinkle too... TWINKLE, YOU TALL DRINK OF COCKKNOCKERS. Really are my best feature... rest of me looks like the Ugly Taxi went on strike right on top of me and ain't moving 'till they get GPS.
Oh horseshit, eyes, charm, charisma... fuckin' A right. Too bad I'm dying all alone. Ah well.
Strip club tonight, me and people from work. I might get grabby. I feel like a good ol' fashioned throwdown with a bouncer or two. Fuck'em. Ah hell, I'll pussy out. If they really grind in on me I'll tip them an extra $10. If they phone it in I'll say, "Mom?"
Then there is an invite for later on. I might just bring my Elvis CD and fuck around. The goal is to spend "Suspicious Minds" with three fingers missing. No word on whether the ol' 5 Inches of Whiteness will be called up tonight. I'm sure he will but might just be a cameo. Gracias.
This isn't true love, this is killing time... killing time with a fuckin' SMILE!!!!!
True love is a headfuck and there will none of that tonight... or maybe ever. Bond's in worse shape than Nick Hogan's buddy and someone's pricing out Priests for the last rites.
Don't expect much for the next few days, but when I blog again we'll talk about self-hating jews. (WHOA... someone just screamed "red alert")
Drunker than I thought.
my fuckin' eyes are amazing... and this ain't no tree swinger telling me this... this is a beautiful, goddam BEAUTIFUL girl telling me this.
I'll try to make that fourth finger vanish while "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" plays... just in her honor. Chick's a freak, wouldn't be the first time she participated in that act of sexual congress. God bless 'er.
I realize I am impressing no one with this. Pretty pathetic on a few levels, but'cha know what, it's better than some, worse than others, and no one's getting hurt except maybe me. All is well.
Saturday night will be a comfy six pack and HBO. And probably nothing else cool. Schedules change and I don't like you much no mo' anyways. Ah well. Daddy feels like he always has and fuck it if it's lame cuz at least it's reliably consistent and that's a remarkable feat. No it ain't - IT'S WHO I AM AND WITH AMAZING EYES!!
This is a lot angrier than I was expecting. My bad. And I am in a really good mood too. I'll tip the girls nicely no matter how bored they are. Send some good kharma my way. I really am a sucker. It's okay, I know I'm a sucker but I also know how to headfuck'em right back. I'll fart a lot.
Ahh, strippers are harmless. They're just doing their job, which is to make you feel good. Nothin' wrong with that. Pay 'em right and make them smile legit. Just business.
One romantic douchebag - but the heart is in the right place. Just looking in the wrong direction.
If I make it to "That's Alright Mama" I'm getting the thumb in there.
Cutting loose. Trick out, muchachos y muchachas.
EDITO: 1 a.m. and I ended up not even going out. Plans fell through and I wasn't into doing the strip club without the dessert. Hyatte stays pure hearted for one more evening.
Loyal to absolutely no one, yet oddly the most loyal of them all. And with amazing eyes.
And I still never got all that drunk.
Faith is not a dirty word.
Christ, secret messages all over this fucker. Wonder if they're wasted. I doubt I'll ever know.
