Britney Spears isn't fat, she's party fat, she's been clubbing too hard and now is covered with a nice layer of babyfat.
It's what happens when you marry the wrong person. Oh, and the whole "spent entire teenager-adult years as a money generating, performing sex-robot" issue.
I am buying the Rhianna disc tomorrow, end of fucking story.
Why don't they just have the awards in Africa and be done with it?
I did like the Concert-in-every-suite concept. Like MTV just booked a whole bunch of clubs situated next to each other.
What I like is imagining the staff of that hotel griping to each other in the staff break room deep in the basement. "Those cocksuckers... we'll be cleaning up their shit all week! At least you know Diddy tips like a mofo."
Dr. Dre looks like me now. THAT'S FUCKIN' A-RIGHT, BITCHES!!
LEMMY????
Remember when Eminem used to be something? I miss him.
Kurt Loder still draws an MTV paycheck? They must keep him around for those interviews with the relics like Springsteen and Neil Young. I bet they're keeping him around for when Ax'l finally shows up with Chinese Democracy.
Because Ax'l will be all like, "Get this Sway faggot out of my face! I'M ONLY TALKING TO KURT!"
MTV hands out award for videos you watch on BET.
It's hard to be turned on by all made-up & sexy Britney Spears when you go to Perez Hilton's site and see her all ratty and puffy and zitty and smoking butts.
The funniest part was Puff Diddy laughing at Kid Rock and Tommy Lee having a fist fight. Heh, it IS funny seeing picturing those two old farts hanging out at a awards show where most of the target audience don't even know who they are anymore fighting over Pam Anderson. At that moment, the awards show turned into "I Love The 90's"
Rock, Lee, and Pam... a deadly love triangle, brawling on MTV. Collective age of all three is 124.
But the scariest has GOT to be John Norris. He started as an MTV news reporter back in the late 80's! He had a thinning hair and pock marks on his face. Time went on and he fought age with every ounce of his being and suddenly grew a full head of hair and now it's blonde and he is also wearing eye shadow.
And he never bothered fixing the gap in his teeth.
He HAD to have come out of the closet already, right? I mean... is he fooling anyone?
I will take a picture of me putting a straw in my toilet and sucking deep and post it online if John Norris's butthole isn't as well paved as the Lincoln tunnel.
And now I get to wait a whole year before wondering what's on MTV again.
If I have more thoughts I'll edit this and post, so keep reading. And if you weren't around all weekend, I invite you to keep scrolling. It's been an action packed three nights.
And coming soon, self-hating Jews!!
