When you're posting mood is as erratic like mine, things tend to logjam up on you.
So there are a lot of comments left over from the past month that I should get to.
And since I really have no essay on the Red Sox that's just DYING to be written, I'll start with some Sox comments and go nuts.
- October 29, 2007 10:59 PM... Bruce said... And how bout them Sox?
Yeah, how about them? My own personal MVP is Schilling. The classic old warrior, stalking the mound with all heart, all experience, and no heat. As a matter of survival, he had to place the ball exactly where he wanted it to go, and he pulled it off, TWICE. The sumbitch looks like he should be selling me Insurance and there he was, old, saggy, wrinkled, gassed... getting it DONE!
He only wants to play one more year, at the same exact salary. I hope the Sox keep him. He can teach some of these kids a thing or two about poise and dignity.
And he's a loudmouth too!
My second MVP is Manny Ramirez. See, we here in New England know Manny is a bit of a goofball, and a lazy outfielder, and he only hits when he wants to. We call this "Manny Being Manny". We just accept it right up until the end of the season, then we start getting fed up with him and start demanding for them to ship his ass off.
(Not just the fans either. You think YOUR city newspapers give your teams a hard time? Let's just say you just ain't a professional sports athlete until you've played in Boston for a couple of years and let our newspapers have a few goes at ya')
But then when its playoff time, Manny REALLY becomes Manny. This is the Manny Ramirez who isn't happy until he's spent 12 minutes up at the plate making the pitcher question the existence of God with his persistence. Behind the count? 2 Strikes on him? Manny will keep nipping your heat foul until you either hiff one towards the dugout, or throw the fucking thing underhanded just to get him off the plate.
Ask any ballplayer... be it baseball, basketball, football, or even Hockey... the playoffs is when they make all their money. Manny knows this.
Plus he's great for team moral. Manny's always smiling, always playing around.
So next year, Manny will start with the World Champion Boston Red Sox, and he'll have a respectable first few months, will slump off over the summer, and will wake up and bring serious pain to pitchers starting next September... and during all this we'll be crying for his trade, Sox GM Theo Epstein will laugh it off and David Ortiz will smile his million watt smile and shrug his shoulders.
Cuz it's just Manny being Manny.
(plus, no other team wants to inherit his monster contract)
-October 30, 2007 2:26 AM... Jesse Baker said... I don't know about the Sox, but I can bet Johnny Damon is probably beating the shit out of himself right now with his baseball bat, for leaving Boston for the Yankees.
Well... no, Damon wanted to stay in Boston. He was offered a contract that wasn't as lucrative as it could've been (more like a tussle of the hair for years of loyal service) and went to the Yankees, who offered him more. Johnny Damon (who I KNEW was going to be a star ever since his rookie days on the Royals) is a lead-off guy. That's young legs running fast. Johnny was getting old and the Sox likes them young. So we wished him well but knew his role for the team was finished.
By the way, Coco Crisp replaced him... whoops.
He's one of the few Yankees who doesn't get booed at Fenway. We give him a nice, respectable cheer. He played a huge part in breaking the curse, and he made a nice replacement, sex symbol-wise, for Nomar.
October 22, 2007 11:20 AM... Anonymous said... Hyatte, love you, but man do I Fucking Hate the Red Sox. Luckily, most of the nation is coming around to that too. In fact, the Red Sox are approaching Yankees-levels of hatred... especially since now that they've won something, they have nothing to fall back on. It's hard to cheer for the team with the 2nd Highest Payroll, you know? Especially ones with such DOUCHEBAG fans.
Heh...
That's bullshit. Total bullshit.
Payroll doesn't mean much in baseball. The Red Sox won the series on the back of ROOKIES... ROOKIES AND YOUNGSTERS! Dustin Pedrioa... Jacoby Ellsbury... Johnny Papelbon... Julio Lugo. These are all kids!
Who did the Sox face? A team filled with rookies and farm upstarts who rocked the National league on their way to the series. Hell, the Cleveland Indians have 40 year old Kenny Lofton and a whole batch of no-names and they almost wiped the Sox out.
The Yankees, who STILL have the number 1 payroll, haven't seen the inside of a batter's box in October since 2003. They haven't opened a bottle of champagne at the end of October since 2000... and while they have more All-Stars then positions, their farm system is practically non-existent.
Arizona, Detroit, San Francisco, Anaheim, Colorado, The White Sox, Houston, St Louis... all of whom appeared and some even won the World Series (not counting Florida)... all on young no-names with a couple of superstars tossed in for good measure.
And none of them have a player like Derek Jeter... who came up to the plate one day during a league championship series (against the Sox, in 2004, I think) and did a close-mouth sigh that puffed out his cheeks and deflated them, as if he was bored out of his mind. Even Joe Buck had to note: "Just another championship game in the life of Derek Jeter." Yeah, that's why the Yankees sit home in October.
The Sox? All youth with a healthy sprinkle of highly paid vets who were still excited to be there.
Oh, and we still have been playing in the same ballpark for 100 years. And we don't throw batteries at opposing players, we just boo the shit out of them.
Colorado had no clue what they were in for.
-October 22, 2007 9:50 AM... JT said... Congrats on the Sox winning the AL pennant. And congrats on going to your first game 7 anything... Now if you ever get to make a TX - OU football weekend in Dallas, that's an experience like none other.
Oh ugh... I can't possibly make enough time in my life to follow college sports. No thanks.
-October 22, 2007 10:25 AM... folman said... I went to my first playoff game ever last year. Game 7 Mets-Cards. Surreal atmosphere (Endy's catch!), but the heartbreaking loss sucked and the pain was tremendous for a long time. Thanks to your latest post for allowing me to re-live that experience. Now go fuck yourself.
I truly recommend everyone go see at least one championship, all or nothing, either fuck or walk sports game in their lives... NOT SOME DOPEY HIGH SCHOOL HOCKEY GAME EITHER!! Something professional... filled with passion and drama and heartbreak.
It's like "Rocky" in real life.
-October 22, 2007 10:57 AM... Anonymous said... I'm just impressed you got rip-roaring drunk and managed get up by 7:15. Long day is right... blech
Yeah, I don't recommend that. Not when you're looking at the bad side of your thirties. I can do it... like once a month or so... AND get a work out in complete with cardio the next day... but the recovery time is a lot longer and more brutal. Thank Christ I know where and when to grab power naps at work.
Strange thing is... I can have sex for a loooong time and still get up feeling refreshed and rested... and I WORK that action.
-October 29, 2007 9:30 PM... Anonymous said... Did your Ex really write that mop up?
No. But she did proofread.
Early into my Mop-Up career, like the first year, my girlfriend, Amy, recapped the shows in my absense... and in retrospect I probably made her too young and too horny.
Look, I was doing anything and everything I could to make my Mop-Ups must read fare. There were dozens of recappers out there, and I was swimming in the same pool as some real popular guys. And I had no idea if I was being read... plus Al Isaacs wasn't exactly telling me to tone it down (that came later), so this was one giant experimentation to see what I could pull off and what would happen.
So I wrote the Mop-Up as my girlfriend Amy. It was such a hit that I wrote a second one where she and I recapped it as bickering exes (I was going for a Sonny and Cher motif). I designed it so she would OWN my ass during the Raw recap but I would come back strong during the Nitro recap and eventually chase her away.
Plus I got to call her a Tuna Boat... which is always awesome.
My personal, proudest moment is things were so out of hand and dumb that I then brought her current boyfriend, something Latino, to threaten me in Spanish and bitch at me. I was so silly-ass proud of that that he became somewhat recurring.
But no, it all came from my brilliant imagination.
You asked this question twice, I applaud your perserverence.
-October 15, 2007 5:54 PM ... Anonymous said... Reap what you sew (try SOW)? Tug of wart? C'mon Hyatte. If you ever do write that book, you are going to take years off your editor's life..
Oh please, fucko... blogger doesn't offer spellcheck (oh, wait... it does)... well, anyway, who wants to proofread??? Proofreading, like MSN Live Messenger, is for losers and you'll never catch me doing or being on either again. I am an AIM guy. The magic happens on AIM!
-October 15, 2007 12:45 PM ... Eric said...Hyatte, I do believe you mean The Dynamite Kid where you were saying "The British Bulldog". Dynamite is the alcoholic cripple, whom I think you were referencing in that.
They are both boorish, idiotic, arrogant bullies and they are both enjoying the kharma that they've earned. I would not be shocked if one day the Ghosthunters team go to Canada to investigate Davey Boy's old house because it's being haunted by some roided up nitwit and the dog he shot. There is no way DBS got to 'cross over" to Heaven.
And Jason Hawes will kick his ASS
By the way, ECW's Elijiah Burke hung around the Ghosthunter's during their live investigation the other night... and made a damn pussy fool out of himself! He jumped at every single noise, damn near fainted when he saw a shadow figure looking at him, and screamed like a girl when a ghost touched his back! The irony is, I'm sure the ghosts were more scared of him... ain't too many brothers out there visiting haunted Sanitariums.
-October 15, 2007 6:33 PM ... Relevance said... Meh. Hyatte, since your audience is easily in the ~100 mark, (and this is a guess here) let's see it. What do you mean "what is it?" A picture of you, of course. Look, the way I see it, you have been on the blogosphere for the better part of 10 years. You have no real worries that people will pick on you about your looks do you? Ok then, man up- let's see who the hell has been talking to us for all this time.
I'll tell you what... one day in the future I will post a picture of myself for three hours and ONLY three hours at some point during a 5 day period. When exactly? No clue. That'll be a fun scavenger hunt.
-October 31, 2007 2:43 PM ... Anonymous said... Damn right, brother! Souls DO exist. As for me, I'm on semi-casual speaking terms with the ghost of Christ. He's got a message: "I drove nails... fucking NAILS through my wrists and the SCI-FI network is what impresses your ass!?" Moody, that one. But who can blame him?
Actually, Christ didn't drive anything into his wrists. The Jews did. He just screamed a lot.
And that was 2041 years ago, he hasn't done a whole lot since. (Oh man, but you poor Jews paid very dearly for this error. Man alive, you nice folks bet on the WROOOONG pony and it cost you a LOT)
These Ghosthunter guys are just looking for the ones who refuse to cross over, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind finding the doorway to the other place too.
One observation I have is that being a ghost SUCKS! You're just memory and energy, which means you can't make new memories... you don't have a brain, just memories. So if you're a ghost child, even if you wander around for 100 years, you'll never grow up.
Very silly, yes... I'm aware.
November 1, 2007 8:47 AM... Anonymous said... Tammy got Myspace. Quit being pissed at me.
Good for Tammy. She's back in shape because her boyfriend is a Policeman who isn't going to put up with that crack fiend nonsense... and he makes her happy.
A REGULAR guy making a (atonetime)bonafide hottie/minor star happy... SEE HOW THAT WORKS???
I'll quit being "pissed" (not the right word at all) at you when you try harder to keep me happy on a regular basis. Won't take much at all.
Yeah, I'm a pain... but the rewards really, I mean REALLY could outweigh the hassle
Not a single one of you has anything to say on this... keep your silly comments to yourselves!!
- October 31, 2007 6:23 PM... Anonymous said... u should go back to doiwrestling.com where peopel will read your drivel. doi doi doi
Hey everyone, say hello to DOI's web owner, the Dave Scherer of the Indy's... Sean "The MiC"!! Hi Sean! Write me a check and I'll come back as soon as it clears.
And finally...
-October 27, 2007 6:00 AM... Byron said... writing on the internet must be like that one girlfriend from times past. For a while it was exciting and new and each day was better than the last but you still anticipate the next one. The charm novelty challenge wears off, but you still have a good thing going, no reason to stop but also no reason to aspire to new heights. Complacency sets in too much and you try to spice things up. Try something new, it works, but you succeed at that and now that challenge is gone. Do you keep finding more challenges? Now you begin to notice other things in life fulfilling the need this once did. But you are in a routine and obligation to readers and to yourself to prove you can still do it. Eventually you think more and more about those other things in life, all those other women if you will. That feeling of achievement, of looking at a challenge, that of being king of the hill is not coming from other areas of life. You are now seeing other people. You stopped writing, the break up. Now you blog. Sometimes frequently, sometimes infrequently. Whenever you get the urge, or more precisely, whenever those other aspects of life leave you wanting more. When the things you left writing columns for don't fulfill your needs you come back for a sure fix. We're your whores, welcoming you back for that brief fling knowing only you'll be gone in the morning and not when you'd ever be back. You know what to expect from this, even if it is an artificial high now, one you have because you know you are supposed to get it. When all else fails, blog here. Maybe write a column, but make it clear it's not like it used to be. The magic is gone, there will be no strings attached to these affairs. This just dawned on me and maybe its too metaphorical for some but I think you'd get it. I'll still read whatever you put out, but I know the score.
Byron... who've been writing to me for years... and I appreciate the input...
But brother, you spend WAAAAAY too much time wondering what I'm about.
I had this blog for a while, I first used it to put up short stories for select people to read... then I tried to use it as a supplement for my column... then I dropped it very discreetly in the column once or twice and never mentioned it outright.
Soon it just became a personal forum to send hidden messages to someone. I knew people had this bookmarked but never knew how much.
Then I got rid of it. Deleted it outright. Exactly two people asked me what happened.
But then I decided that I SHOULD keep it around just in case. The Internet can be a useful tool and a fantastic way of meeting people from all over the world. It's good to keep a small foothold in it.
Plus I asked you all if I should keep this going. Enough people said "sure"... which is fine. I'm not after a huge audience. People can find me or not, I don't care.
I have a gift, dude. I communicate well. I can write and write in a way that people enjoy. This isn't a 25 year old high school football hero hanging out on the field acting like he's still playing. This is not even a new chapter. It's something I enjoy doing a few times a month and I would STILL be doing it if I just had that one secret admirer reading and no one else.
So do me a favor and spare me the psyche profile. I am more closed off and guarded then anyone realizes. I can't be properly analyzed because I haven't given anyone nearly enough insight.
Jeeze.
Well I've had enough. Back in a few days.
