So.... hrrm.... serious knowledge afoot. Read and LEARN.
* Do you realize that Lindsay Lohan is on the exact life path that Corey Haim put himself on 25 years ago? So she might actually have a solid 25 years of partying left in her.
* And, if you keep an eye on these things like I do for some stupid fucking reason, you'll see that Britney Spears hasn't improved one bit from her meltdown 2 years ago. Her father still lawfully micromanages her life, she doesn't have custody of her kids, and she very badly wants to run around town at night with no bra, no shoes, and menstration stains on her underwear... but can't because the Judge still thinks she isn't allowed to run her own life. I think that's some sort of awesome.
* I have always had a grand plan for Lost. It involved never watching a single episode. I have accomplished this plan. Go Team Hy-Rate!
* But now that its over, when they put out a grand, whole series DVD set for major $$$$$, I will but it and watch the whole series from show 1 to the very end. THEN I will talk about it. So expect a full series review of Lost 2 years from now. And some of you haterz DARE say I'm irrelevent. HA!!
* So until then, keep your fucking Lost comments to yourselves. I'll delete every wiseass spoiler comment that pops up here courtesy of some anonymous pussy and I PROMISE I'll delete it before reading any giveaway spoiler... which, yes, isn't really a SPOILER spoiler but its a spoiler to me. You won't ruin it for me so don't bother trying.
* Assholes.
* I like Bowersox... the chubby girl with the bad teeth who mamaged to spend all season of American Idol looking like she was just counting the weeks until she won... to win. The other dude, well... he's just like all the OTHER straight, white dudes who won before. The girl is sort'a fresh (for the show, at least) and has the whole female empowerment thing going. Let's hope she doesn't end up opening a yoga studio and vanishing from the American eye, and my heart.
* You know what's great? Eric Bischoff has been making a little noise about bailing out on TNA. How long before Hogan follows suit? Legacy and ego is everything to the Hulkster and being unable to propel a dog wrestling company even one rating point after several months will not stand for him. He'll make a run for it by the end of the summer. Abandon ship, brother!
* Who's Hulk's audience anymore, anyway? The people who got depressed and suicidal watching him lurch around the ring during his last tv match because he can't take a bump or move, really? It's almost as bad as watching Flair wrestle. Sure, Flair can still GO... kind'a... but he just looks so awful doing it.
* THE PROBLEM WITH JOHN CENA IS... the plan is to make him more like Hulk Hogan of the 80's, the superhero who can get run over buy a car, can lift three guys on his shoulder at once, can get tortured... literally, snuff film style tortured by Randy Orton for 30 minutes and never say "I Quit", and always come back for the win. The PROBLEM with this is that Cena doesn't look like a Hulk Hogan cartoon super hero. He looks like an asshole gym rat body builder. There's no magic with that. "Cenanation" will never be "Hulk-A-Mania". And I'm NOT showing my age.
* I'm about finished here, but let me tease you with ehat's coming up. I think you'll like it. Ready?
1) An old school Sean Shannon story that doesn't involve me at all, revisited.
2) And I have found the newest biggest loser douchebag in the IWC.
No, it isn't anyone from 411 mania. Stop trying, faggots.
BIG HITTER-ISMS
I had a boss named Bill who was Italian and a pretty neat guy. He manscaped his eyebrows, worked out like a fiend, had a spray on tan, and wore very expensive suits. He was a good guy, unless he fucked you over with your pay, which he did a lot... but not to me so I still liked him.
The thing with Bill is that he couldn't think faster than he spoke, which led to him saying some very dumb things. Not inappropriate things, just... stupid things. He mixed up and mispronounced his words a LOT.
Well, he had been doing this for a while since before I came to work there, and someone started keeping a list of things he said... and every so often we'd break them out and share a laugh over the List. I have the list in my hands now and thought I'd share a few... and no, you won't be able to gleen what I do for a living by what I have here, so don't bother trying.
"You guys get me jiffed!"
"We gave them everything but the kitchen sink and then some!"
"We have this formula which is down pretty bad!"
"It's more and more now as a playing field."
"Sweat peering off your forehead."
"There's a lot of stake for the managers."
"There's now two ends about it."
"I'm over the whelm."
"He's going to be as bald as a goat... he already has a willow's peak."
"I threw them in there like burnt cattle."
"I could feed a small country with the money you cost me today!"
"5% is an extremely amount of product."
"That thing is a trout."
"I've got the lawyers climbing down my thing."
"In a word... figure it out!"
Love the guy,
And... from my personal photo files... make of this what you want:
