Hi! ASL?

This was going to be a bigger update, but time isn't my friend these days. I've been really busy lately, what with the job, (or is it career? I wonder), the girlfriend (or is she the one? I wonder), the bird (Jake needs his playtime, more so than any other pet. Birds need social interation, they are truly the clown princes of the domesticated animal kingdom), the endless free porno clips online for merely the price of a few dozen daily spams (of which Yahoo does a respectable job of keeping up with, especially since spammers have now figured out how to turn an AOL address into a mass emailing bonanza.), and with all the hundreds and hundreds of TV stations on these days, there's ALWAYS something on that's more interesting than writing to YOU ingrates.

And my other web job, of which has been a topic of great conversation for the last few weeks.

And contrary to the HATERZ, it ain't just 15 people posting several times. Remember, I have your IP addresses. There are more of you than you'd think. Not A LOT more, nothing worth bragging about, but a decent number for an old wrestling writer who hasn't produced anything on a well-visited site since... umm... 2004?

But here I am, tonight. Hello. Let's get right to it. I didn't start the rumor. If you think I post anonymously IN MY OWN BLOG, then you're a retard. Have you seen my posting habits here? Do I seem desperate to recapture old glory? Am I itching to rebuild my empire of dirt? I leave the comments to you people, free and clear to hide in the shadows and post anonymously. One of you got bored and started something, and it exploded literally overnight, and I thought it was GREAT.

It was, you did a good job, not just the one who started, but the ones who picked up on it and joined in, and it grew organically, naturally, moreso than when I "died" because you couldn't go much further after "RIP Hyatte, thanx." With this, most of you expanded on it, had fun with it, and was thoughtful about it... amazing job.

So I, of course, decided to validate it a bit, just to see what would happen, and Jesse baker then e-mailed me asking where the new site was, even though I figured he got the joke. (Come onnnn, Jesse).

AND, like a great, old school tag team match where the Faces and the Heels battle it out, it started with cheers, then boos, then back and forth, then boos again... then I was going to wait until the "Hot tag" came and the cheers would come for the big rally...

But the load had been shot already. You were sick of this. I can tell.

The only place I'm writing for is I do decoy work for Perverted Justice and Dateline NBC's "To Catch a Predator". A few hours a night I pretend to be a innocent, but wild 13 year old girl and get old guys to come over to the house where Chris Hanson is waiting and ready to pounce. I type "LOL" a lot and talk about my buds and say how gross hair is down there. I also misspell lots of words. It's fun, and I feel really pretty with all the boys looking to sex me.

Except for that one night I accidentally cyberfucked Chris Hanson. I was assured those chat scripts were deleted... except from my heart... Oh Chris. Ohhh.

Anyway, never in my life have I had so many videos of guys jacking off on my harddrive. I emailed them all to Trish Stratus just to show her what she's missing by marrying a countryman. This is how AMERICANS get it done, baby. Now go stretch something.

Back on target, I ain't writing anywhere else. I've just been busy, or lazy, or... *gasp* uninterested. Probably a combo of all three, there's just been too much good stuff on TV. I mean... have you SEEN "Survivor" lately? Amazing show, just brilliantly edited... and Russell is the finest Survivor to ever play. He'll win it all.

I wanted to watch this play out. I wanted to see who would step up and run with this, and most of you did great. Some of you were miserable little fuckheads and I hope your bowels fall out of your asshole, but I liked the end result. YOU entertained ME for once. Thanks.

But you still owe me about 8 years worth of more entertainment (and about 86'000 dollars in back pay), so don't get snotty and start whining for a Mop-Up or something.

And if you're looking for the obligatory speech where I get pissy and start ranting you on how I don't owe you anything and how I'm blogging at my own leisure and I don't care if you like it and me keeping this blog alive is a LUXURY for you... nah, I'll spare you the lecture. You know the score, it won't stop whiney little anonymous comments about how boring this place is. Besides, you're right. It can be a snoozefest. First to admit it.

Anyway, I'll leave you with this:

This is Mariah Carey, courtesy of Perez Hilton.com

Mariah turned 40 last month. Mariah refuses to admit this and hasn't for years, stubbornly staying in her mid-30's, or at least young enough to stay competitive with young dollars when up against kids like Rhianna, T-Swift, and Miley (I walk around singing "That night I couldn't breathe, you ask what's wrong with me, my best friend Leslie said, SHE'S JUST BEING MIIILEY!!!" and I DON'T CARE!!! I SUCKED CHRIS HANSONS SHLONG IN CYBERSPACE AND I GODDAM CYBER SWALLOWED!!! I'M A LOST CAUSE, PEOPLE!!)

But Mariah can't buy new DNA. Her body ain't playing Forever Young. Right there, we see Mother Nature rat the poor girl out.

And some plastic surgeon is about to become very, very rich.

Get all the hot sex you can get now kids... because in the end, all the girls get either too skinny or too Mariah.

More later... or maybe NOT!

But, as that picture shows