Whassup, people.
Someone, somewhere openly grumbled about how long posts where I just keep adding and adding new material at the end gets frustrating because they race down to the end but overshoot and end up shooting past the entry and wandering into boring ol' entries past... which they've already read a few dozen times and can recite every word... backwards.
Well, since I much, MUCH prefer lots of comments on each long post rather than bits of comments on several, scattered posts, here's what I suggest:
A: Log on here, breathe a sigh of relief when I make it clear in the headline that I have recently updated.
B: Click on recent headline. Just point and click.
C: Scroll down and see that now this post is the only post on your screen, no older posts follow. Just this posts and the comments it has so far garnered.
D: Easily find the point where the updated post ends and the comments begins and begin reading until you run out of unread material.
E: Zoom to the bottom of the screen and add in another comment to keep this puppy rolling, and to motivate me to respond.
F: Go find something shaped like a mini-bowling pin, shove it straight up your ass and spend the day walking around feeling like a stuffed fucking Thanksgiving turkey. Homo.
There ya' go. Problem solved.
So someone asked what I am watching on TV these days. Here's a list of all the shows I try really hard not to miss. In handy dandy days of the week order...
1) Letterman (since 1983. Only Carson can touch him)
2) Curb your Enthusiasm. (The concept is just thrilling. His scripts just lay out the scenario and from their on, all improv.)
3) Entourage (even tho' the latest season SUCKED)
4) Mad Men (slow moving, but an acting clinic. If you watch it, and wonder why the dramatic payoffs are so moving, it's because they know how to build. Someone from the Sopranos runs this show, and you can see the pedigree.)
5) NBC Sunday Night Football. ('nuff said)
6) The Simpsons. (Yeah, even I admit it, it's lost its edge. Someone, a few years ago, put it best... it's like everyone with originality left the Simpsons and let geeks who grew up watching it run the show. It's showing its age and it shows.)
6) House (It knows when to amke the lead character sympathetic, it knows when to bring Greg House's flaws front and center. And its just fun to see them unravel the medical mustery.)
7) Sons of Anarchy. (Not anything I CRAVE, but they hired Adam Arkin to be the leader of a white supremecy faction trying to fuck the biker gang out of town... and that is INSPIRED casting. Ron Perlman has been waaay too lucky for waaay too long)
8) Man vs Wild (Although its starting to get old, there is enough time between fresh sets of new shows to keep me interested... and the special episode he did with Will Ferrell was hilarious.)
9) Mythbusters (Adam is a carefree fag. Jamie redefines the term "closeted", and the girl seems to go from really hot to really BLEH on weekly basis, but they have fun and we LEARN THINGS.)
10) Survivor: Samoa. (Every season is a whole new cast, and THIS season they have a dude called Russell who is a fucking STAR!! He's also a nasty, evil asshole who makesd Johnny Fairplay look like an amateur. Get this, he tells everyone he's a firefighter from New Orleans who watched his dog drown during Katrina, then he grabs the camera and says, "Look, I've never BEEN to New Orleans, I'm a multi-millionaire who is just here to show how easy it is to manipulate these idiots and win the million, which I don't need." The thing is, he is HIGHLY photogenic, handsome, and charismatic. Mark Burnette is a fucking genius because I have no idea how long Russell will last in this game, but they are right now postioning him to be the star... which can easily mean he'll be thrown off the island before they even make it to jury selection. Just brilliant casting.)
11) Fringe. (It's like the X-Files only faster moving. Joshua Jackson hasn't taken a single acting class since he was hired for Dawson's Creek, but he fits here. The old guy, Walter, is a found treasure who was probably stuck doing bit parts and Shakespearean theater his whole life. His character reminds me of a guy I work with. They both take such joy in the simple things in life. I hang with my friend just for the positive energy he exudes over such simple pleasures... like a good restaurant or a funny image he caught on his camera phone.
And I've said it before... but it bears repeating... this is Anna Torv, the show's lead actress:
And this is porn starlet Aurora Snow:
Torv looks like Snow's sister. Thus I spend each show obessively wondering if her chooch isn't as deep and cavernous as a black hole... like her sister.)
14) South Park. Only 14 episodes a year, split between 5 months. Any one episoide is funnier and smarter AND dirtier than any given ten episodes of Family Guy
15) Dollhouse. (I have the first season DVD set, but I'm finding myself less and less interested in this show. I'm a Joss Whedon fiend but this show is lacking... and I don't think it'll last through its second season. Whedon needs to back off the "empowered cool chick" gemre and do something different, like a cop show or something. And Eliza Kushdu could've been Megan Fox before Megan Fox arrived... she downplays her sexiness too much.)
16) Dexter. (It took me a while to grow into this show, but I watched the first two seasons and find the show pretty fun. Nothing MUST HAVE, but entertaining all the same.)
That's it, my must watch shows. For DVDs, I grab seasons of The Office, 24, South Park, and Damages, as they arrive, and a bunch of old shows as my whims dictate. I'm thinking about collecting the entire Cheers and Seinfeld run. Just so you know.
********
I have some comments to catch up on. Yes or No... YOUR comments... just my way of letting you piece together the jigsaw rubik's cube known as HY8!!!
1) October 6, 2009 11:14 PM... Tony Majestic said... 1.) Do you think a group of your fans would seriously consider getting together in public? 2.) Have you ever self-published a book of your own work to sell out of the trunk of your car?
1) Never. 2) HA HA HA... no
2) October 7, 2009 12:22 AM... Anonymous said... Is your job resteraunt related? The wife was fake but was the sex club real?
1) No, I'm not a fucking waiter. 2) Yes.
3) October 7, 2009 3:45 AM... Anonymous said... Do you work in the public sector? Is your day job exactly that - a 9-5, working at a desk?
1) Yes. 2) Hmmmm... yeno. noye.
4) October 7, 2009 9:42 AM... Anonymous said... 1. Do you work in telecommunications? 2. Do you work in hospitality?
1) No. 2) We can all work on being more hospitable to each other.
5) October 7, 2009 10:52 AM... Anonymous said... Do you enjoy your fans? Would you ever consider showing a picture of yourself?
1) Sure. 2) Ahhh, yes
6) October 7, 2009 12:11 PM... Anonymous said... Have you ever read Denis Leary's book "Why We Suck"? If no, may I recommend it to you?
1) Nope. 2) Of course!
7) October 7, 2009 12:35 PM... Anonymous said... Did you finish college (i.e. get a degree)? Have you ever thrown your wallet at your TV in real life?
1) No. 2) Heh... probably
8) October 7, 2009 12:58 PM... Anonymous said... Do ya use any drug other than alcohol for recreational purposes? Have you ever had what could be considered a gay experience?
1) Nope. 2).... sigh.... yeah
9) October 7, 2009 1:12 PM... richardrh said... Do you remember Tully Blanchard? Do you care?
1) YES!! 2) Not a rat's ass.
10) October 7, 2009 3:32 PM... lostnoiz said... Do you have a physically demanding job? Is your your mentally challenging?
1) yeah. 2) YES!
11) October 7, 2009 3:34 PM... lostnoiz said... God damn...as I am apparantly mentally challenged....
1) Yes.
12) October 7, 2009 5:04 PM... WARSAW said... If your last name was a real word, would it be listed in the first half of the Dictionary? Is your last name longer than three syllables?
1) Yup. 2) Nope.
13) October 7, 2009 6:23 PM... Anonymous said... Is your cock longer than 5 inches?
Would you buy Ric Flairs nwa title for 75 k and wear it and only it in the lobby of a hotel screaming Whoo Whoo Whoooo while you do the helicopter tug on your slong?
1) Bet'cha ASS!! 2) No
14) October 7, 2009 8:32 PM... Anonymous said... Haha, if you woke up in a field somewhere, hungover, and you found a homeless guy sucking you off; would you let him finish?
No, no, NO!!
15) October 8, 2009 8:06 AM... Anonymous said... Is "Na'cho cheese" the funniest cheese-related joke of all time?
1) Without fucking question
16) October 8, 2009 1:27 PM... Todd said... Are you still at the address on Georgianna? Did you ever complete the "hard boiled" novella about Benjy, Max, the Accountant?
1) No. 2) Yes. Wow.
17) October 8, 2009 1:47 PM... MorninWood said... So Hy8, are you currently working as a janitor or in "custodial engineering"? Do you hate anyone on here?
1) No. 2) Oh yes.
18) October 8, 2009 9:36 PM... Anonymous said... 1) A woman ever abort the fruit of your loins? 2) Have any brothers or sisters?
1) Probably not. 2) No.
19) October 9, 2009 1:48 AM... Anonymous said... Ever given a rim job? Ever gotten one?
1) Aye. 2) AYE!
20) October 9, 2009 2:39 AM... Anonymous said... In terms of women online, have you ever jacked off on webcam for a girl? Have you ever had a woman online reject you because you wouldn't give her a photo of yourself?
1) BWAHAHAHAAA!! No. 2) Nope.
21) October 9, 2009 6:25 AM... Anonymous said... Do you feel old? Are you still seeing Miss It's everything and it's Nothing?
1) Alas... yes. 2) Yup.
22) October 9, 2009 7:58 AM... Anonymous said... Do you think Obama should have won the Nobel Peace Prize? Do you think he has REALLY done anything of note to this point?
1) No. 2) Yes.
23) October 9, 2009 8:24 AM... fbintx said... Do you like this gig? Do you like your job? Do you like being chief of police?
1)... yes-ish 2) Yes 3) What? No.
24) October 9, 2009 9:53 AM... Julie said... Hey Chris! Looking at the comments you've received so far, it looks like you've really opened a can of worms :) 1) Have you heard from Trish since she's gotten married? 2) Do you expect to ever hear from her again? Have a great week! Julie
Hi Julie! 1) Sure. 2) She always comes back. Have a great week too, baby.
25) October 9, 2009 1:35 PM... Anonymous said... Will the new FCC crackdown on bloggers affect you? Will you get another column at a wrestling site if it does?
1) Nah. 2) Never.
26) October 9, 2009 4:20 PM... Anonymous said... Are you going to update BlOCTOBERFEST soon? Will you let me marry you? No man love or anything, I just want to hang out with you and absorb some of your awesomeness.
1) No. 2) No, sorry.
25) October 9, 2009 5:43 PM... Lester Graves said... Would you have sex with someone that is totally hot if you knew for a fact that you would get a (treatable) venereal disease from her?
1).... hmmmmm.... no
26) October 9, 2009 9:56 PM... Scott_NM said... Did Trish give you any kind of a wink/nudge/tug on the ear when she hosted Raw? Follow-up: Do you wish that you could have got her to do something like that, not so you could brag about it, but just to have the personal satisfaction and internal grin?
1) No clue. Didn't watch it. 2) She did already... so no.
27) October 10, 2009 9:33 AM... Anonymous said... Do you write anywhere else on the internet under a different name?
1) No.
28) October 10, 2009 11:13 AM... Ken said... Did you ever go to college? Did that help you get your current job?
1) Yes. 2) Yes.
29) October 10, 2009 2:59 PM... Anonymous said... Phrased in a yes/no question: Do you realize the longer your posts are the harder it is to find the comment thing? Because, seriously, most people aren't going to sit through a chapter book masquerading as a blog, right?.
1) Yes. See above. And stop fucking whining.
30) October 10, 2009 7:16 PM... MorninWood said... Um, DO YOU realize that some of us that have been reading you for a long time don't care and are smart enough to find the "comment thing" because we aren't as stupid as some other folks that would call this a chapter book masquerading (which I am shocked they spelled correctly) as a blog and that we are very happy to get long posts from you because that means there is more Hyatte goodness to absorb? And ever gave money to a charity?
1) Yes. And awwww. 2) Yes.
31) October 11, 2009 9:20 AM... Anonymous said... Is your Hyatte persona close to who you are in "real life" Would you ever use Hyatte to pick up a woman that new who Hyatte is?
1) Yes. 2) Sure.
32) October 11, 2009 5:21 PM... Anonymous said... Are you ever gonna answer these questions? Are you ever going to blog regularly again?
1) Uh huh. 2) Uh uh.
