Linda McMahon is going to run for a seat in the Senate representing the great state of Connecticut. Let's hope. Let's PRAY that it gets ugly. Let's hope her opponents do some homework on her business.
Deaths, murder, drugs, circus animal work-load, no insurance, no taxes, a swiss cheese-like Wellness testing program, her buffoon-like husband... Jesus Christ, they can eat her alive. They WILL.
It's going to be a blast watching THIS campaign.
HA... I will say this, the McMahons have gigantic grapefruits for trying to pull this off. Either that or they are more delusional then even their biggest critics thought.
Why would she invite this type of exposure? Nuts.
This'll be a wild ride. And thanks to the Internet, we'll have front row seats.
And it already began!
Anyway, I have a bunch of comments pulled from the last few blogs, lots of topics covered. Should carry you in for the rest of the week. I have them nice and scattered about so don't look for anything chronological. You asked for it, you earned it. Off we go.
1) August 21, 2009 12:31 PM... Anonymous said... Something you should know about I Miss You Lyrics Title: Simple Plan - I Miss You lyrics. Artist: Simple Plan Lyrics
Visitors: 38398 visitors have hited I Miss You Lyrics since May 27, 2008.
'to see you when i wake up is a gift
i didn't think could be real
to know that you feel the same as i do
is a three fold utopian dream
you do something to me that i can't explain
so would i be out of line if i said
i miss you'
Aww no, Patricia. It wouldn't be out of line at all. I know you miss me dearly. It's okay. No... shhh... it's okay. Nice song. Perfect choice. All that effort, just for me. So sweet. Much better than just dumping randomly selected U Tube videos on me. Burying me with them one after the other before I have a chance to check them out.
2) September 5, 2009 5:26 PM... JesseBaker said... On Hyatte skydiving; I have an image of Hyatte in a group of people about to skydiving, saying nothing as the others in his group nervously yap about how they may or may not die from their jump out of the plane.
More like Hyatte was trying to get his breathing under control and trying to get his tandem partner to confess to how much pot he smoked the day before. It was just me and two other first timers and none of us were talking very much.
Remember, we had earplugs in. And my mouth was hardcore dry.
I will say, I didn't bag out of the jump. I took that last step as soon as he said "GO!" No pausing, eyes wide open, ready to die, ready to fly. My trainer said he was impressed. I still think he dryhumped my crack, tho'
3) September 17, 2009 8:30 AM... Anonymous said... Orton's been clean for over a year. Trust me on this
Sure. Why not. His body has achieved the fabled "Saran Wrap" look where his skin has wrapped so tight around his muscles you can actually see where his back muscles end. Maybe he does get to work out twice a day yet maintain enough energy to wrestle every night.
So let's see which opponent gets wind of Orton's past antics with hotel room staff and such.
Actually, he's always squawking about how he takes his main event status seriously and how Rhodes and Orton's career DEPEND on him... and other nonsense.
So sure, he's been clean. I'll accept that. I mean, after all, he's passed all those random wellness tests, right?
You know, he could've been the baddest FACE since Stone Cold, right aroud the Royal Rumble time. But the heard people cheering for him so they had to alter his course so it was crystal clear he was a no good heel. What a shame, he could potentially have exploded. Like, 1997 all over again.
4) September 15, 2009 10:13 AM... Trish Stratus said... I can't believe you didn't watch me on Raw. It was bugging me the whole night and that made be botch my Matrix move. As punishment, the next time we fuck, you don't get to blow your load on my face. (Who am I kidding, I love getting facials from the Cool Hy)
Thanks Dude. Piece of advice, if you're going to try to write in a female voice, try to make it a REAL girl and not like a porn star with the cameras rolling.
I understand that 99% of your interaction with females is by watching porn, but women don't talk like that, unless their drunk and totally feeling you... and you're alone. Over the phone when she's cuddled in bed and totally relaxed... okay, then... maybe.
But generally speaking, don't try to write like a girl if you're getting lessons in girlspeak from Sasha Grey.
5) August 21, 2009 3:13 AM... Anonymous said... i just figured you were too busy having a marathon jerk off session watching channing tatum try to act his way out of a paper bag in gi joe the movie.
Here's another case of the WWE being morons. Rather than produce horrible movies for him to star in (hoping like CHRIST he'll take off like the Rock did so they can have their own little movie star completely under their control). Why didn't they try to jam Cena in this GI Joe movie as the lead actor? He would'a been perfect for the role... and he would've had a taste of mainstream success.
Then again, they would've lost control of him. So the best bet is to stick to terrible movies even 13 year old boys aren't touching.
By the way: Kimbo Slice as B.A. Baracus. Lord knows why this wasn't signed up quick.
By the way 2, 10 times in 10 hours is my spanking record. Sometime in 1987 after school. Of those ten high school girls who did UNSPEAKABLE things to young Hy-Rate in his fantasies... he actually got to date 2 of them. And got zero sex in the process.
6) September 15, 2009 6:38 PM... Anonymous said... She looked good...too bad you blew the deal with nothing to show for it. If you could only go back in time. Is flea still alive?
Sure he is. And his HEEro is currently Patrick Swayze, who did not stop smoking and drinking all the way to the last breath. Raise a glass, Fleabag. Dalton went out with no regrets!! (except maybe a movie career that didn't end in the 90's)
As for she looking good. Well, of course she did. She had weeks to prep herself for her core audience. She wasn't going to go out there looking rough. Are her eyes still pulling away from each other at a scary rate? By the time she hits 40 they will be on top of her ears.
And I didn't blow nothin'.
7) August 25, 2009 7:29 PM... elmarko said... Hyatte, good to see you back, how was prison this time?
Food has gotten better. It was Spring and Summer so the weather was awesome... for one hour a day. And no one fucks with you if you mind your business and offer to write letters and emails for people.
8) August 26, 2009 9:04 PM... Megan Fox said... Christopher, I don't have to admit anything. I can deny everything. And all you can do is deal with it.
You can deny all you want, hotstuff... the time we shared is/was OUR time and I don't care who thinks what. Never did.
This girl needs to make a lot more movies before she can be the next Angie Jolie... but holy crap is she beautiful.
9) September 2, 2009 11:17 AM... Anonymous said... HYATTE HYATTE PLEASE COME BACK
HYATTE HYATTE TOUCH MY SACK
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS TO YOU I THANK
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS NOW YOU WILL GOBBLE MY CRANK!!
10) 10) September 2, 2009 3:00 PM... stewie said... So tell them about Summer and Tanya
Them, Stewie? THEM?? Not You?? Why are you frontiog like you know stuff?
Okay, so you tell "them"? Mr. Insider.
11) September 3, 2009 2:13 AM... JesseBaker said... Leno's 10PM show is going to be a trainwreck of epic proportions. If it bombs BIG TIME ratingswise, NBC is fucking screwed for this season. Only Leno's new show's cheapness to make and possibly the network's inexplicable hard-on for Leno, to the point that they truly believe the apocalypse will come and NBC BEING WIPED OFF OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH if Leno would go onto another network, will keep them keeping it on the air if the show gets massacred in the ratings. The only thing in it's favor, at least out of the gate, is that none of the other networks seem to be prepping up big name shows to go opposite Leno. But with Cable, it's still literal suicide on NBC's part.
Take it easy little trooper. Leno is going to do just fine, but not incredible. He'll win some nights and lose a lot of nights too.
His 11:30 show was so big because lots of the country tuned in to hear his take on the news. They liked that 15 minute monologue knocking back the world's events in safe, easy joke form. Whether they stayed past it depended on what star he had on that night. Either way, Jay's audience liked to turn in around midnight.
With Dave Letterman, you watched the show if you liked DAVE. Period. If you didn't, you went to Leno... or any one of the hundred alternative channels.
What is troublesome about Leno's new 10 p.m. slot (And Jay really should thank Conan O'Brien for this... he wanted 11:30 and muscled NBC into giving it to him. He probably never realized it would bite him in the ass HUGE), is that if it is a monster success (and it saves NBC LOTS of money, so even so-so ratings mean they turn a profit), then it'll spawn a revival of other "variety shows" from other networks. I mean, Leno isn't doing anything NEW here. Ed Sullivan was the biggest show on television for about 20 years.
But their are script writers and REAL TV producers who are going to want Leno DEAD if his show takes off. His easy going, no-script, non-story 5 hours of prime time a week takes 5 hours of network prime time away from real storytellers. With Leno on, we may miss the next "Lost", or "Cheers", or "Seinfeld", or "CSI", or anything else that is groundbreaking television. That's not good.
Leno eliminates the New and the Creative from ever coming to free TV. That's why his show is so dangerous.
After all, when "Survivor" smashed all the ratings, and led the way for hundreds of other "reality TV" shows to go on air without a paid writer in sight, it left LOTS of top notch writers with brand new ideas left out in the cold. Now Leno could potentially help take off even MORE network real estate.
Foir the sake of creativity and televisoon evolution, Leno has to bomb... but the reality is, he'll have really good Mondays and Thursdays and have just ok Tuesdays and Wednesdays and have abysmal Fridays. And Conan O'Brien will have NO guests to book.
And people will start liking Dave Lettewrman again.
12) September 7, 2009 11:26 AM... Anonymous said... Hyatte on Twitter. Coming soon?
Fuck NO!!!!
Only celebrities, both real and sort'a real (which describes every single wrestler out there) can find Twitter useful. It allows them to pretend to show their fans an inside glimnpse of their day to day activites but, of course, really doesn't.
My FAVORITE Twitter ad isn't a Twitter ad at all... it's that commercial for that cellphone company where a family with two teenagers are on the porch and "Dad" is snickering as he "tweets" "I am sitting on the porch" and his MORTIFIED son is all like, "I KNOW You're sitting on the... SIGH." Meanhile the "Mother" is burying the daughter's Facebook page with "I Love YOU" on her "wall" and the daughter is totally embarrassed.
Maybe I'm old, but I completely LOVE the idea that parents can use Facebook and Twitter as ways to RUIN their kids with thier friends. I cracks me up every time.
You notice the people hate Twitter more than Facebook and poor, obsolete, MySpace? In 5 years, VH1 will do "Remember the OO's... 2009" and we'll have sorta' known but not famous celebrites laugh about how Twitter took the world by fire... and then died very quickly.
I like the poeple who first do Myspace, then does Facebook, then does Twitter... and is still talking to the same exact people on one that they talked to on the other. Twitter is for people too lazy or stupid to blog fully.
13) September 6, 2009 2:12 PM... Jay said... Ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
Well, how do you think I met my current girl!?!?
14) August 21, 2009 8:10 AM... Papa Guido said... "I know in my world, I could use a decent break myself." A break from furiously masturbating into old socks and crying into your microwaved dinner? Why....?
No, stupid. You use your old socks and havr sex with your microwaved dinner. Didn't American Pie teach you ANYTHING??
15) September 7, 2009 11:48 PM... Tony Majestic said... "Hyatte deals in half-truths?" What is he, Satan? As written by George Lucas?
You know, the greatest trick Hyatte ever pulled off is convincing the world that he didn't exist.
That, and "You can't win, Anonymous poster. If you strike me down I will become more possible than you can possibly imagine."
16) September 9, 2009 12:55 PM... Mad Drunk CM Punk said... Hyatte Point taken and appreciated, but what happens if someone in the IWC takes a shot at YOU? You gonna stay quiet? Not fight back?
Punk, I stopped doing columns almost 3 years ago now and no one has taken shots at me save for you nice posters. This isn't a scenario I'm terribly worried about.
17) August 21, 2009 11:42 AM... Anonymous said... My wife gave birth to my first son while you were gone. I named him Chris Hyatte. 50% of this story is true. Welcome back.
So... you're wife gave birth to your mailman's 3rd bastard child and meanwhile, you named your fat manboobs Chris and Hyatte? Good for you, son!!
18) September 14, 2009 10:47 AM... Julie said... Nice blog Chris. While I agree with you about Jeff Hardy - I'll also say that he was entertaining as hell in the old days. Lately (and when I say lately I mean sporadically in the past few years as I have almost all but given up on watching wrestling all together) watching him has been a sad experience...definitely not the entertainer he used to be.
Gray - I agree with you about Kanye - what an ass! I'm hoping that someone tells off this load of horsecrap. What a rude fuck he is!
Have a good week!
Julie
Ah Julie, my darling. Kanye fell deep into a case of, "Hey, I got a great idea!" and went ahead and did it and it all backfired on him. At the time, I'm sure he thought it was a GREAT idea that would get everyone talking!
Well, they talked. I think he just thought it would be a case of "Kanye being Kanye" and everyone would be amused. Thing is, he did it to an innocent 17 year old who's idea of shocking was a performance where she tore off her overcoat to reveal.... a long, body hiding red dress. He didn't think everyone would rip him up for this.
19) September 7, 2009 5:31 PM... Gray said... There is no way in hell I'd jump out a perfectly good airplane. If I wanted the thrill of risky behavior, I'd fuck Fergie.
Excuse me, Sir. Her face may not be much but her body is slamming... and she knows how to WORK IT.
That's a fine piece of slightly moldy lettuce.
And, the broad can SING
Strong lyrics... deep impressions are made.
And Will I Am's gonna hook us up a few years down the road. If he doesn't lose all his money fighting plagerism lawsuits, that is.
20) September 11, 2009 1:26 PM... Anonymous said... Weird... I think I might know Hyatte in real life...
Nooooooo you don't.
21) September 8, 2009 12:53 AM... Anonymous said... Hmmm...Hyatte, if your goal with the blog is to antagonize the people that read it, it's working I'll give you that. But what happens when this "audience" grows tired of it and stops coming back?
I don't know. 11 years and no one's left yet.
I'm outtie. See you next week.
