Greetings.
Nothing like a fat, juicy political debate to fill up the comments.
And of course, this bweing the innerweb and your cheerful host lets you hide under a blankie of privacy, it devolves to name calling.
SWEET!!
I've got a giant backload of comments to swing through, and here's the best part... they will be RANDOMLY SCATTERED throughout with no sense of placement, date, importance, preference, or interest. And I've got January, February, March, April, May, AND June, AND July....7 months of comments.
7 months is long, 7 years is longer - too long, in fact. There's something secret and hidden in that sentence.
OFF WE GO!!!
1) February 15, 2008 11:50 AM Anonymous said... Do you still Nair your pubes?
From time to time, yes. It really does make an ugly weed turn into a lovely fun rose. And it provides a nice pillow for one to lay her... HER cheek on whilst she goes to work.
It also creates the illusion of extra size, which I BADLY need. Why, if I was any smaller, I'd be a construction worker from Canada.
This is why I take great pride in my long, strong, piano playing fingers and it's also why I chew gum foir hours on end, just to keep my jaw muscles and my tongue well-honed.
It ain't what'cha got, it's what'cha DO, my brothers. Any asshole with a big shlongy can pump away for 10 minutes... what I do takes MAD SKILLZ.
2) January 14, 2008 5:14 AM Anonymous said... At your peak, how many readers did you have?
Hmm, that would be Scoops... 1998-99... right smack dab in the middle of the Attitude Era.... I know I tagged about 100'000 clicks for the Raw Mop-Up, and the Nitro Mop-Up a lot less... but back then Al Isaacs never had the technology for unique visits or anything like that. So, factor in all the times I clicked to re-read my brillance.... I had about 90'000 readers. Give or take.
The irony being: No one has those sort of numbewrs anymore, their just aren't enough wrestling fans out there... yet EVERYONE is charging a fee for a special "members only" site. Just recently Jason Powell started one. I wonder how long it'll take before he's asking Wade Keller, "Why ain't I RICH yet???" (because, maybe, you overestimated your attraction... rent-boy)
Stooges... and what is with that picture of Bryan Alverez and some little kid he's probably molesting posing while they eat food?? Fuckin' doucheheads.
3) April 21, 2008 9:40 AM... Adam said... Just found the blog...I had been wondering where you've been. I've gone through the archives and have enjoyed reading your stuff again. I don't know if you've seen this or not but when you google hyatte the third thing that comes up is this link: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hyatte
Before you all click it, if you haven't already. From the Urban Dictionary:
HYATTE: The highest form of Homosexuality known to man. Usually consists of watchin pro wrestling just to see sweaty men rub up on each other, pointing out who stuffs their trunks. Also, while doing so is on the phone for 5 hours with another man. Went I went to San Francisco I saw these Fairies. They weren't just gay, they were Hyatte gay.
This was created on April 26, 2004. 8 people gave it a thumbs up, 6 people gave it a thumbs down.
I would'a thought the highest form of homosexuality involved fisting... and ass to mouth... and gerbils... I stand corrected.
4) January 18, 2008 12:49 PM kitten said... why must you be such an assholeeeee hyatte!!!!!!!
Oh Kitten, where have you been hiding.
This must be the month everyone with a vagina abandons Daddy.
5) January 18, 2008 9:34 AM El Mojito said... Now that your comments section resembles the weekly meeting at the Homo Association you might as well go ahead and read the Dark Tower. This can't get any more faggy.
You know, I still haven't read the Dark Tower epic. I probably should, but it seems too "Dungeons and Dragons" for me.
And Stephen King has gotten strange lately. Of the books he's written since his "retirement": The Cell was very good, Lisey's Story was horrible... I couldn't get into it 100 pages in. So now he's got this recent one, Duma Key, and I'm afraid to try it because I think Lisey's Story is the sort of direction he wants to go now... deeper and deeper into the protagonist's head. My favorite King books were always when he had fun with his characters, whether the tone he was going for was light or heavy. Like, his early works such as Christine and Firestarter. Both books were extra-serious, but the characterizations were easy-going and coherent. This Lisey bitch spent too much time babbling along about nonsense.
I recently tore through Needful Things again and that was some fun shit... the part where the fat chick put on those sunglasses and suddenly was being manhandled by Elvis Presley was hilarious.
The man simply has not been the same since he was ran over by that truck.
6) July 3, 2008 11:17 PM... Jesse Baker said... Your "Best of Garbage" CD, is it the official "Best of.." Absolute Garbage or a Mix CD you made in response to the shoddy tracklisting of Absolute Garbage? Also what's your favorite song by the group?
Ugh... mixing my own track listing... too much work.
I have "Absolute Garbage" and am fine with the trach listing. Girl's got some pipes on her. They toasted out simply because everyone toasts out once thier era ends. Garbage was never anything that could transcend the musical culture of the time. Plus, Shirley manson debutted a new dyke haircut... bad move, bad, bad, bad.
"I'm Only Happy When It Rains" is my favorite garbage song... and it was also featured on an episode of Homicide (which will always be The Wire but with network interference) and The X-Files so people a lot cooler then me loved the song as well.
Somewhere along their way, Garbage decided to go existential with their songs. I defy anyone to explain what Push It is supposed to mean. That probably killed them too.
7) July 4, 2008 3:56 PM... Mark said... "7 years removed from 911 and we may elect a man with Muslim ties?" you fucking americans are embarrassing, you really are. Who cares about religious ties? ACCEPT THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WITH OTHER BACKGROUNDS TO YOU ALL OVER THE WORLD. Dickhead. Everywhere you go, neighbours and strangers who don't think like you do but are good pepole. The fact of religion shouldn't come into it, it should only be about whether that person is a good person. This is why America is fucked & going down the tube because of your stupid isolationist viewpoint... Do you know what? I can't be arsed telling you all the reasons why you are blatantly a total fucking wanker, but let me assure you that you are one. Prick. Different subject altogether, Hyatte I downloaded alot of chinese democracy tracks and while they aint shit they aren't good enough which makes me sad.
That Obama commenter was such a fucking tool.
Oye Mate, so a bloody bloke from the UK decided to question me bleedin' ass on me American philosophy??
You limeys have a tosser over there named Doug Williams who has a talent for shagging ex-WWE Divas... and I intentionally put in the plural.
But tosser, please recognize something... while you lash at me for not accepting others of different races, color, and/or creeds, you seem to be ignoring the irony...
America is based... god damned BASED on opening its doors to ANYONE who wishes to come on over... legally, of course, and make something of themselves here. In any major city you can find white Catholics rubbing shoulders with Africans from parts of the dark continent so primitive that they still have gazelle meat stuck in their fucking teeth. We walk alongside Chinese, Japanese, Canadians, Russians (the shiftiest of the shifties. Loan thewm a dollar and you'll find twenty missing from your wallet), Albanians, Mexicans, and even the British.
You call Americans isolationists... no, ye ol' rug shagger, we are SO full of SO many different cultures and religions that our predjudice comes from not understanding all these god damn cultures and how to handle them!! Jesus Christ... we just recently learned how to handle the gays (compliment them on their perfume and fart a lot in their presense). This is the first black guy to get into our highest elected office... most of us are PROUD of this.
Just wondering, how many black Prime Ministers has your country elected? And while your being so high and mighty and pissing on America... please remember that we never kept a palace maintained square in the center of London for a Monarchy that, as far as we can tell, does nothing. Yet you still praise the Queen Mum, don'tcha.
How many black Kings has England crowned?
My friend, America doesn't have a lot to be proud of lately, but we are still the melting pot... we stemmed from rebellion and free entry... you guys are 10 times older than us and still keep the inbred WHITE royals fed and prosperous.
You're just mad that America never accepted Robbie Williams.
7) July 5, 2008 1:20 PM... Anonymous said... Uhhh Chris, you see the monster in Cloverfield about 30 minutes into the movie.
Uhh Anonymous, my point is that you saw bits and pieces of the monster throughout the whole movie, but they never let us get a sense of what it looked like top to bottom. Many, many critics cited their frustration over this.
Uhh anonymous, it was like Alanis Morrisette's first video "You Outta Know", where you never really got a good, full-out look at her.
UHH, ANONYMOUS, NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO USE "UHH" AS IF YOU ARE POINTING OUT THE "OBVIOUS" IN THE MOST CONDENSCENDING WAY POSSIBLE, PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU ARE 100% CONVINCED THAT YOU ARE RIGHT AND I AM WRONG!!!
Uhh, you were wrong, and a bonehead.
By the way, one of the writers of Cloverfield is Drew Goddard, who also wrote many of the best episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel
8) July 5, 2008 5:40 PM... Porn Valley said... Every...single...friggin'...girl in the theater I saw the flick in cried buckets. Did he snap Sam's neck or did he pull a Wayne Brady and choke a bitch?
Porn Valley (maybe my favorite reader here) is commenting on the dog death scene in I Am Legend.
Since they had a close-up of Will Smith's face during the kill the dog scene, and since we didn't hear a snap, it's clear he smothered the bitch.
By the way, I didn't cry because I knew the dog would die from the first second I saw her on screen.
Porn Valley, am I wrong for having a bit of a mancrush on Kurt Lockwood? I mean, the man gives lessons on how to fuck a girl properly.
I'm going to end it now. It's 3 am. I must go night nights.
I'll post more, just shorter...
