I'm in a reflective mood tonight.
There's a minor change... which around these parts is a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT. I have added The Supremes "#1's" to my massive 10 disc CD changer in my car. Sue me, it's got all the Supremes hits and, because her ego knows NO bounds and never did, some sweet Diana Ross hits. It's motherfuckin' Old School and I WANT IT!!!
Of course, add one and you must lose one, since this ain't an 11 disc CD changer. So, after a good long time... Rhianna.... sadly, gets the boot. End of an era.
The Umbrella is closed. ella ella ay ay ay ay
Tragedy. And stupid. Dummy.
I know, an Ipod will solve all this and I can have every single CD I want and the entire Beatles catalogue at my disposal... probably for free. But I like the idea of changing things up. And moving on.
Oh, I'm sorry, am I DATING myself by referencing the Beatles? The Supremes? Should I go get the entire.... err.... MILEY CYRUS OEUVRE????? Eat me, cisco.
SOMEDAY!! WE'LL BE TOGEEEETHERRRRR.... YES WE WILL, YES WE WILL!!! SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT!!!
********
Tomorrow is Ham Slow's birthday. I will not get her anything. Last year I gave her two Beyonce CDs... well.... really, I loaned her the CDs a few months prior and said, "Eh, keep the fuckin' things, baby. Ain't like you were planning on returning them to me." Oh don't worry, I am quite good at pushing her buttons.
*******
I wonder if Freddie Prinze Jr realizes that from now on, every single career move he does, every time he gets press for something, a slew of wrestling reporters will report it. I mean, David Arquette still gets Meltzer love.
I'm pretty sure you have a better shot at having God knock on your door late at night to borrow gas money then you have at seeing Sarah Michelle Gellar agree to appear on WWE programming. Either that or she will show up on RAW in one of those Brian Gerwitz hilarious comedy segments and the next day we'll read Perez Hilton (well, I'LL read it on Perez, you people will read it on Jason Powell's felched out site) about her agent shoving a .22 in his mouth and firing.
Just a wee bit desperate for pub, that Freddie Prinze... and his father was overrated too.
******
A surefire way to send my comments section to a screeching halt is to talk about comic books. This ain't newsarama, people. Clearly.
*****
What the holy fuck is Eric S. up to? I don't know, but if wearing masks and being a very minor thorn in the well calloused toe of Scientology is what floats is boat at this stage of his life, then go to it, cowboy. I'd personally be more interested in maintaining a steady job and building a nest egg for the day age and all those mental/physical ailments catch up to him, but I ain't him.
What I DO know is that Widro must be FURIOUS that his only remaining star writer abandoned him for this nonsense, or at least didn't offer to use Inside Pulse as a forum to wage his "war" against this multimillion dollar, well-connected, squash him like a bug, cult.
I don't know what Eric, "No Soul" Ashley is doing either... but let's hope he involves those few months of Mop-Ups I did for his... good stuff there.
And PW Pop... because Dave Scherer wants to tells us what he watches... and there is nothing he watches that isn't "hot" today, "ooo, I never miss House, you should watch it!" says Dave.
I do find it hilarious picturing 50 year old Dave Scherer... a barely removed middle class, middle aged working joe from Jersey, settling in to watch a marathon of The Hills so he can write about it. That cracks me up.
Anyway... and trust me because I've seen this movie... twice. PWIPop will go unnoticed by everyone and only wrestling fans who brave the pop-ups and visit PWinsider will visit there once every so often. This will make no noticeable impact on anything.
People... I assure you... Mike Johnson is NOT the next Perez Hilton.
*****
I'm reflective because I'm considering writing a Hulk Hogan essay and sending it to Meltzer, who will ignore it and send it to Alvarez... who will ignore it and send it to that little kid who is eating something with Brian in their photo on top of the new Figure 4/Observer union. Really, what is that guy, 12?? Either way, it'll get ignored. But I'll feel good for writing it.
But another thing that's making me reflective are all these commercials I've been seeing about the digital converter people have to buy after next February because they will stop beaming out TV signals for little rabbit ear antennas to grab. Seeing those commercials with broke-ass people of ALL shapes and sizes (well, they couldn't just show welfare blacks and old people) getting all into the last remaining bits of free TV made me hark back to when I was a kid, to when we ALL were kids.
Three motherfuckin' channels... and FOX on weekends... and a snowy ass UHF local station that showed old Godzilla movies on Saturday afternoons. You missed a movie in the theater? You waited just one year and watched it on network TV with commercials and words like "hell", and "damn" and "ass" edited out. I swear, I must've been 24 years old before I saw Smokey and the Bandit and realized that Jackie Gleason actually DIDN'T say the word "scumbum" 27 times in the movie.
And lazy?? Remotes were for them rich folks. You wanted to turn the channel, you had to get up and walk to the TV, and flip the tuner... and then adjust the antenna... and then slap the side of the TV a few times.
And my God in heaven... Morgan Fairchild taught me that there was more to my penis then running water through it. She was in this show called Flamingo Road and for a few weeks she was totally banging this meathead Cuban guy named Julio and it was so sinful and so dirty and so hot. And then she started doing this guy whose real name is David Selby and he had no problems jamming his tongue down her throat and she happily reciprocated...
Flamingo Road went off the air and for its last show we saw that David Selby was some sort of Satan worshipper. Which was stupid even back then.
and then both actors turned up on Falcon Crest and David Selby did some really hot love scenes with Ana Alicia who wasn't really hot, but she kissed really well. I mucked up my TV screen good and proper thanks to her... a few times.
Meanwhile, Morgan Fairchild was given one shot at a movie career with a lead in the movie The Seduction, which was about a news anchorwoman who is stalked... the movie bombed, as did her film career because the dumb broad wouldn't get naked.
But the movie is famous for the scene where she turns the tables on the stalker, corners him, and husks, "Fuck me, come on, fuck me" over and over. The impotent little weasel couldn't close the deal. I'd post the Youtube trailer but I already have a video for tonights entry.
Anyway... so when the old man finally popped for cable and we got HBO... it was like Heaven on Earth... and MTV came on... JJ Jackson, Mark Goodman, Martha Quinn, Nina Blackwood, and Alan Hunter were the 5 VEE Jays and by God Rod Stewart's career was REVITALIZED!!!
Fun fact... Hall and Oats got HEAVY airplay on MTV back in the day... like, the VeeJays were PSYCHED to play the latest Hall & Oats video. Mind boggling, ain't it?
All over the place here.
One strange thing about the old days, the Big Mac tasted exactly the same as it does now... but McDonalds also had something called "The McDLT" which was a rectangular box that separated the two buns, so one bun had the hamburger and the other bun had the trimmings... and the trick was the hot stayed hot while the cool stayed cool, then you mashed them and chowed... and GOD DAMMIT IT WAS GOOD!!
It was also Styrofoam... which was fast becoming an environmental no no even back then... so they killed it. I've been waiting 18 years for them to bring that puppy back.
Did you know, back then, CBS thought Pat Sajak could beat Johnny Carson and give them a late night foundation? Yes, the host of Wheel of Fortune was a late night host for... all of 6 months. Carson was too busy wondering why Arsenio Hall was pulling the kids away from his hilarious interviews with Jimmy Stewart, Kathy Guisewhite, and Carl Reiner with a musical performance from Chuck Berry. Actually, I was wondering that too... Arsenio SUCKED, man.
Didn't matter... whenever Carnac was due to appear I was THERE, DUDE!!
I should do a Hyatte-Yak again soon. I'll work on it.
****
Anyway, with all this reflecting of the past, and with this country in the shithole... BIG TIME... I think I should end this little thing with a glimmer of hope... and a reminder of why my country really rocks... even still right now...
According to Drudge... not only did AMERICA finally found a moon on Saturn that has an actual lake... (not of WATER but still...) but just within the last day or so, AMERICA has FINALLY created a pill that seems to halt... and even REVERSE the onslaught of Alzheimer's disease... and not just AMERICA but people in HOUSTON, TEXAS... may have finally found a cure for HIV.
We are about to cure AIDS, people. AIDS AND ALZHEIMER'S...
See, we ain't so bad.
******
Finally, I was driving around the other day and a song came on the radio. It was a song that I've heard a few billion times before but that day... at that moment... for God knows why... actually, I DO know why and so does someone else if they are paying attention... and still stop by on a daily basis....
Anyway, it resonated with me... currently. I grooved to the song... jammed to it... maybe shed a small tear.
It's 80's... it's hair metal... and no, I'm not necessarily proud of myself right at the moment.
But I forgot who sung it... so I did some net research... and at first I thought it was Tesla which was shameful right there... and disgusting... but I found the lyrics and the artist... and now I wish it WAS Tesla.
Wasn't Courtney Love either.
It's god damn Skid Row... fuckin' Sebastian Bach... I never... EVER bought one of their albums... and I still won't... but right at this very moment... the song made an impact on me...
AND YOU ALL WILL SUFFER FOR IT!!!
Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and I'd think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through
I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew you were there for me
Time after time you were there for me
Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you
We spend the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss
Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you
We've had our share of hard times
But that's the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear you'll never be lonely
Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
'Cause you'll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, I love you
Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you
Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you
And click the video and SING ALONG WITH THE WORDS!!!!!!
I wanna hear you say, I remember youuuu....
Breaks my heart... as fresh today as back when. And that means something.
Reflections of... the way life used to be...
And just like that, with me being the genius that I am... it all gets tied together! Hyatte still rules.
Next time, all comments... I'll nail, like, a bunch of them in one shot. So fill 'er up
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Drug Addicts, No Way to MMA, and Comments
Want to readily and quickly identify a faggot online?
He's the one who says Cesar Romero is still the very best Joker interpretation out there.
Assholes.
People who are now pissing all over Jack Nicholson for HIS selfish take on the Joker aren't getting it. That movie, Batman, was directed by Tim Burton, who has always been fascinated with finding and focusing on the darker side of what seems to be children-oriented fare. Burton likes taking what should be bedtime stories and twisting them into ironic darkness.
In Burton's movies, the oddballs are the heroes and the normal people are the bad guys. Pee Wee's Big Adventure is Burton's first major movie and a classic example... So, yeah, this was just Paul Reubens taking his character to the big screen, but the way Burton built it, a film that walked, talked, smelled, and behaved like a kids movie... but I remember the grown-ups laughing the loudest.
but then there is Beetlejuice. A musing on the afterlife where the deadest character was alive (Winona Ryder's pre-goth goth-chick) and the liveliest character was dead (Michael Keaton's Beetlejuice)
So now we have Burton's Batman. Jack's Joker was perfect for the film. It took a few decades, but finally, the comic books got the Batman/Joker dynamic right. Two complete and total opposites doing the same type of work, just approaching it from completely different directions. The irony of the Joker is that he has always been more likeable, charismatic than the Batman. Batman does his work in the shadows at 3 a.m. while the Joker will cheerfully shoot someone at 3:00 pm in the middle of downtown with all the newscameras rolling... Batman is mean, and nasty, and never cracks a smile while the Joker comes across as carefree and jovial and you can hear him laugh and laugh and laugh.
The Joker is demented while the Batman is obsessed, but they both want to fuck with people. Basically, that's all they do... screw with people.
All of this was touched on in The Dark Knight. I'm not making any new revelations.
But getting back to Jack... this was 1989 and the movie studios wanted a Batman for kids and adults... and there always has been two types of Jokers in the Batman comics: The Clown Prince of Crime whose idea of fun was filling the city with laughing gas and the psychopathic terrorist who would fill the city with bombs. Nicholson gave us the Clown Prince of Crime. And Burton gave us a villian more fun and outgoing than the hero. He let Jack go off and be the Clown Prince of Crime.
Heath Ledger gave us the psychopath terrorist.
Two different takes on the same character almost 20 years apart by two directors with very different viewpoints.
No comparison, other than anyone who think that fruit Cesar Romero did the best Joker needs to die... TODAY!!
About this Heath Ledger guy... what a loser.
Here's this guy, barely handsome enough to suck a few producers off and snag a debut role in Mel Gibson's The Patriot... or the Shakespeare "Taming of the Shrew" re-interpretation Ten Things I Hate About You... whichever came first. He became one of those pretty boy actors and later was given the lead in some silly period piece called The Four Feathers... plus a few more stupid movies where he did stupid things and no one paid to see them.
So he was about to call it quits and go back to Australia when Ang Lee decided he looked like a good gay cowboy and got him in Brokeback Mountain... which resurrected his career and made Chris Nolan give him the Joker lead. Two high profile roles back to back.
And the irony is... in Brokeback Mountain he basically played a guy who kept his emotions so bottled that he looked like he was about to explode... and with the Joker he looked like he did explode and was now all jittery with all these emotions that he can't control anymore.
Heath Ledger was quite good at playing different types of anti-social people.
But anyway, his career FINALLY exploded in its own right, he was in line to be getting the types of scripts Leo DiCaprio gets... and he had to go and overdose it away. Except this guy ain't no James Dean-like figure. This was just a waste of talent and one dumb asshole.
And for those wondering how they can keep doing Batman movies without bringing the Joker back... well, this franchise has one, maybe two more movies left before the director gets bored... or Bale wants more money... or they just run out of stories they want to tell with featured "acting assignments" for its regular cast (Mike Cane and Morgan Freeman are smart enough to take the money, do a few days of shooting, and then run to Bermuda to blow all the millions they got just for showing up... they know they'll have plenty of movie roles available to get some kick-ass acting in) and the franchise will go quiet for ten years or so... then they'll bring in a new cast and a new vision and the nmext Joker will be just as cool as Jack and Ledger... there's plenty of Batman stories to be told without the Joker.
besides, its never a could thing to give a director too much power over these franchises... Tim Burton waaaay over-indulged his fetishes by making the Penguin in Batman Returns sympathatic (and ran Michael Keaton right off the franchise in the process). Joel Schumacher replaced Burton, directed two more Batmans off the original franchise, and decided to turn the whole thing into the Wizard of Oz for flaming homosexuals.
And Christopher Reeve's Superman decided to rid the world of nukes.
And George Lucas couldn't leave well enough alone... nor was he humble enough to hire a director who could do something with those scripts.
That all being said, The Dark Knight was magnificent, well worth the money, Ledger was amazing, and you needed two and a half hours to give all those actors a suitable amount of screentime.
And D.C. effectively took all the heat Marvel had with Iron Man away... what does Marvel have coming? Ant-Man? Captain America?? Spider-Man 4? Bah!!
Now the question is will they try to salvage that Superman Returns disaster with a kick-ass second round? I hope so. BRING BACK ZOD!!!
Oh, and Two Face might not be dead... there's a character that can handle being the sole bad guy.
FINALLY, Sooper-Hero comic movies are in for a MAJOR kick in the face in March... when one of THE most defining books in comics history finally gets a movie treatment.
In the middle of the 80's, Alan Moore wrote a long-form graphic novel that is as close to pure literature as I've ever read... and it deconstructed the super-hero genre in a way that was never done before and seldom done well since. It was called The Watchmen and... well... here's the trailer:
If this is done right (and the novel writer, Alan Moore, isn't confident about it)... it will be THE best comic book movie ever... period.
Although... heh... they'll need a three hour movie to do it right. I think HBO should've signed it out for a 7 part mini-series or something.
ANYWAY, let's catch up on a few comments for this month.
1) July 8, 2008 4:44 AM... Anonymous said... Hiya CG. I'm back. I found you again. You know where to find me. A x
A? x?
AMANDA!!!! OH THANK GOD!! I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
Errmmm.... nice try, cumstain... funny, tho'. But Amanda would never reach out like this. And she would never reach out, period. That ship has sailed.
2) July 8, 2008 12:06 PM... Anonymous said... Treadmill or eliptical?
Both. Eliptical because its easy on the knees and you can get some arm strength in while easing pressure on the knees, then the treadmill at sprinting/walking/running intervals for about 15 minutes. Sweet little circuit training.
I never found the appeal to stationary bike riding.
3) July 10, 2008 10:31 AM... Anonymous said... Queen Mum? I fucked her.
Hey, Hyatte -- I still feel morally obligated to bug ya about sharing your uplifting words of wisdom on an MMA website. (Yeah, I know -- the fact that you haven't responded to the earlier inquiries probably signals your lack of interest... but not unlike the clumsy too-soon grab for the breast on a first date, I gotta push forward until I'm kicked in the balls & maced in the eyes.)
You don't need to be a hardcore MMA fan. Basically, we just want Hyatte to be f'n Hyatte. And within the rapidly-growing MMA universe, you'll have an ENTIRE NEW GENERATION of cyber-blowhards to torment, educate & titilate. And maybe -- just maybe -- a change in scenery might get your juices (creative and otherwise) flowing again...
BTW, our last MMA show in June drew over 10.7K. So we ain't UFC, but we're definitely moving in the right direction.
Want me to drop it, or should I reach for your second breast?
First of all, I appreciate the tenacity here. You've been on me about this for a while... I haven't answered because I thought it over.
But, the problem is a few things: A: I ain't into MMA other than I like Kimbo Slice and I can pick Tito Ortiz and a few other guys out of a line-up. I'm not a guy to be writing a column on a sport that I know next to nothing about... and I don't have the time to learn.
I also don't have the desire to buy those $50 PPVs which are crucial for me if I was to do this properly.
And... well, you seem to be asking me to do a Mop-Up like column. That's not going to happen, ever. I can't do the Mop-Ups anymore... believe me, I tried. It doesn't matter what the theme is or who I am talking to, that gimmick has dried up for me.
Plus, the Mop-Up... or a Mop-Up type of column... humor oriented where I bust on what I see... that works in Pro Wrestling because of the absolute STUPIDITY of pro wrestling. This is jacked up boys banging against one another in simulated fights and in between, you had really poor writers creating really bad storylines with really terrible non-actors reading their lines really, really awkwardly. What I did was enter a world where people took this business so seriously and said, "Hey, isn't this retarded??" and people said, "Shit... he's right!"
MMA isn't retarded. The storylines aren't silly. And it doesn't lend itself to comedy writings. I wouldn't last and I'd come off as a goofy know-it-all.
If I tried to bust balls on MMA, I'd come across like Scooter Keith whenever he tries to be funny while "ranting" about wrestling. At that point I would have no choice but to take my computer and throw it in the bathtub with me in it.
Dude... I just don't have the motivation or the moxie, OR the fresh ideas to do a column on MMA.
So no thank you, but thanks for the offer.
4) July 21, 2008 8:36 AM... Anonymous said... The "Money In The Bank" gimmick was elevated? What? Winners have always taken the belt the way C.M. did, it's nothing new. What is with Hyatte and this Punk obsession? He's been on the guy's ass since BEFORE he came into the WWE. The IWC marks are high on the guy? So what, they're high on a lot of people. I mean I'm not defending Punk here, I don't give a shit, it's just kinda weird that Hyatte is on the guy's ass. I think his reaction to the Ledger incident coupled with Punk's "clean" image adds up to something we don't know about.
Well, there's a lot about me that you people don't know about.
Obsession... HA!! I don't obsess about anything or anyone... and there are more then a few people reading this who can attest to the fact that I can go a LOOOOONG time without contacting them... much to their shock.
A couple of months ago, someone here accused me of obsessing over that little fairy Alex Lucard... (and take a guess which Joker he thinks was the end-all/be-all)
I'm not obsessed with Punk, I don't care about Punk... I'm "down" on the guy because I'm not impressed and never was. I like Joe. Samoa Joe is awesome. Punk ain't.
I was down on him in my column because all the marks loved him. I like pissing on the marks parade. I like all this Ring of Honor groupies who will travel 200 miles to see a show, but will whine like a broke-ass bitch about the WWE PPV prices (the Torch's Sean Radican does this constantly).
I'm being the clear-head in this Punk mania at the moment. I swear to Christ I read on a message board somewhere, "THANK GOD PUNK WON THE BELT, FINALLY THE WWE IS ON THE RIGHT PATH!!" he was being serious too.
Punk is not going to last the summer as champ. He can't. He's not getting the long-term champ push like Cena got. They aren't backing him. Are YOU getting the sense that the WWE is saying, "Meet Our New Torch Bearer!!" with the guy? He's not being pushed, marketed, or built around. He's just... he's just part of the big ol' re-do that they needed when the ratings started dropping at alarming rates and million dollar give-aways weren't helping. He is a kick in the pants to make people look.
He won't last as champ. He's a lame duck placeholder.
Sorry, but the only way Punk will start getting groomed for the long haul is if these marks who will blow all that gas money on traveling to ROH shows and buy their DVDs will cough up for WWE PPVs and buy WWE advertisers wares and fill up the building just for him and buy his merchandise and blow the roof off the place whenever he walks out and screams, "ITS CLOBBERIN' TIME" (the irony being... he's usually the one who ends up getting clobbered),
Plus his legs look like they are filled with Yorkshire pudding... and I've used this joke before.
Plus he can take a god damned shower for once BEFORE stepping out.
And Straight Edge my ass... he's been there long enough... he's taking pain pills.
Nothing against the guy... but you can't honestly believe in your heart that Punk is being groomed for a long, comfortable stretch as a champion. He's the WWE's new Rob Van Dam. Flashy, well liked, always pushed solidly, but will never be on top for the long haul.
5) July 18, 2008 12:08 AM... Anonymous said... NPP is calling you!www.Nopantsprovided.com/forums. Teach 'em a lesson!
Ooo, get into another AWESOME net feud on a message board?????
I taught them a lesson once already... where I was single handidly responsible for their most famous thread ever... something called, "Ever wanted to prank Blade and or Hyatte?" They never saw so much traffic before or since.
So, naturally, they lost the whole thread.
They got nothing over there I'm interested in.
Next time... PORN... and some other things...
He's the one who says Cesar Romero is still the very best Joker interpretation out there.
Assholes.
People who are now pissing all over Jack Nicholson for HIS selfish take on the Joker aren't getting it. That movie, Batman, was directed by Tim Burton, who has always been fascinated with finding and focusing on the darker side of what seems to be children-oriented fare. Burton likes taking what should be bedtime stories and twisting them into ironic darkness.
In Burton's movies, the oddballs are the heroes and the normal people are the bad guys. Pee Wee's Big Adventure is Burton's first major movie and a classic example... So, yeah, this was just Paul Reubens taking his character to the big screen, but the way Burton built it, a film that walked, talked, smelled, and behaved like a kids movie... but I remember the grown-ups laughing the loudest.
but then there is Beetlejuice. A musing on the afterlife where the deadest character was alive (Winona Ryder's pre-goth goth-chick) and the liveliest character was dead (Michael Keaton's Beetlejuice)
So now we have Burton's Batman. Jack's Joker was perfect for the film. It took a few decades, but finally, the comic books got the Batman/Joker dynamic right. Two complete and total opposites doing the same type of work, just approaching it from completely different directions. The irony of the Joker is that he has always been more likeable, charismatic than the Batman. Batman does his work in the shadows at 3 a.m. while the Joker will cheerfully shoot someone at 3:00 pm in the middle of downtown with all the newscameras rolling... Batman is mean, and nasty, and never cracks a smile while the Joker comes across as carefree and jovial and you can hear him laugh and laugh and laugh.
The Joker is demented while the Batman is obsessed, but they both want to fuck with people. Basically, that's all they do... screw with people.
All of this was touched on in The Dark Knight. I'm not making any new revelations.
But getting back to Jack... this was 1989 and the movie studios wanted a Batman for kids and adults... and there always has been two types of Jokers in the Batman comics: The Clown Prince of Crime whose idea of fun was filling the city with laughing gas and the psychopathic terrorist who would fill the city with bombs. Nicholson gave us the Clown Prince of Crime. And Burton gave us a villian more fun and outgoing than the hero. He let Jack go off and be the Clown Prince of Crime.
Heath Ledger gave us the psychopath terrorist.
Two different takes on the same character almost 20 years apart by two directors with very different viewpoints.
No comparison, other than anyone who think that fruit Cesar Romero did the best Joker needs to die... TODAY!!
About this Heath Ledger guy... what a loser.
Here's this guy, barely handsome enough to suck a few producers off and snag a debut role in Mel Gibson's The Patriot... or the Shakespeare "Taming of the Shrew" re-interpretation Ten Things I Hate About You... whichever came first. He became one of those pretty boy actors and later was given the lead in some silly period piece called The Four Feathers... plus a few more stupid movies where he did stupid things and no one paid to see them.
So he was about to call it quits and go back to Australia when Ang Lee decided he looked like a good gay cowboy and got him in Brokeback Mountain... which resurrected his career and made Chris Nolan give him the Joker lead. Two high profile roles back to back.
And the irony is... in Brokeback Mountain he basically played a guy who kept his emotions so bottled that he looked like he was about to explode... and with the Joker he looked like he did explode and was now all jittery with all these emotions that he can't control anymore.
Heath Ledger was quite good at playing different types of anti-social people.
But anyway, his career FINALLY exploded in its own right, he was in line to be getting the types of scripts Leo DiCaprio gets... and he had to go and overdose it away. Except this guy ain't no James Dean-like figure. This was just a waste of talent and one dumb asshole.
And for those wondering how they can keep doing Batman movies without bringing the Joker back... well, this franchise has one, maybe two more movies left before the director gets bored... or Bale wants more money... or they just run out of stories they want to tell with featured "acting assignments" for its regular cast (Mike Cane and Morgan Freeman are smart enough to take the money, do a few days of shooting, and then run to Bermuda to blow all the millions they got just for showing up... they know they'll have plenty of movie roles available to get some kick-ass acting in) and the franchise will go quiet for ten years or so... then they'll bring in a new cast and a new vision and the nmext Joker will be just as cool as Jack and Ledger... there's plenty of Batman stories to be told without the Joker.
besides, its never a could thing to give a director too much power over these franchises... Tim Burton waaaay over-indulged his fetishes by making the Penguin in Batman Returns sympathatic (and ran Michael Keaton right off the franchise in the process). Joel Schumacher replaced Burton, directed two more Batmans off the original franchise, and decided to turn the whole thing into the Wizard of Oz for flaming homosexuals.
And Christopher Reeve's Superman decided to rid the world of nukes.
And George Lucas couldn't leave well enough alone... nor was he humble enough to hire a director who could do something with those scripts.
That all being said, The Dark Knight was magnificent, well worth the money, Ledger was amazing, and you needed two and a half hours to give all those actors a suitable amount of screentime.
And D.C. effectively took all the heat Marvel had with Iron Man away... what does Marvel have coming? Ant-Man? Captain America?? Spider-Man 4? Bah!!
Now the question is will they try to salvage that Superman Returns disaster with a kick-ass second round? I hope so. BRING BACK ZOD!!!
Oh, and Two Face might not be dead... there's a character that can handle being the sole bad guy.
FINALLY, Sooper-Hero comic movies are in for a MAJOR kick in the face in March... when one of THE most defining books in comics history finally gets a movie treatment.
In the middle of the 80's, Alan Moore wrote a long-form graphic novel that is as close to pure literature as I've ever read... and it deconstructed the super-hero genre in a way that was never done before and seldom done well since. It was called The Watchmen and... well... here's the trailer:
If this is done right (and the novel writer, Alan Moore, isn't confident about it)... it will be THE best comic book movie ever... period.
Although... heh... they'll need a three hour movie to do it right. I think HBO should've signed it out for a 7 part mini-series or something.
ANYWAY, let's catch up on a few comments for this month.
1) July 8, 2008 4:44 AM... Anonymous said... Hiya CG. I'm back. I found you again. You know where to find me. A x
A? x?
AMANDA!!!! OH THANK GOD!! I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
Errmmm.... nice try, cumstain... funny, tho'. But Amanda would never reach out like this. And she would never reach out, period. That ship has sailed.
2) July 8, 2008 12:06 PM... Anonymous said... Treadmill or eliptical?
Both. Eliptical because its easy on the knees and you can get some arm strength in while easing pressure on the knees, then the treadmill at sprinting/walking/running intervals for about 15 minutes. Sweet little circuit training.
I never found the appeal to stationary bike riding.
3) July 10, 2008 10:31 AM... Anonymous said... Queen Mum? I fucked her.
Hey, Hyatte -- I still feel morally obligated to bug ya about sharing your uplifting words of wisdom on an MMA website. (Yeah, I know -- the fact that you haven't responded to the earlier inquiries probably signals your lack of interest... but not unlike the clumsy too-soon grab for the breast on a first date, I gotta push forward until I'm kicked in the balls & maced in the eyes.)
You don't need to be a hardcore MMA fan. Basically, we just want Hyatte to be f'n Hyatte. And within the rapidly-growing MMA universe, you'll have an ENTIRE NEW GENERATION of cyber-blowhards to torment, educate & titilate. And maybe -- just maybe -- a change in scenery might get your juices (creative and otherwise) flowing again...
BTW, our last MMA show in June drew over 10.7K. So we ain't UFC, but we're definitely moving in the right direction.
Want me to drop it, or should I reach for your second breast?
First of all, I appreciate the tenacity here. You've been on me about this for a while... I haven't answered because I thought it over.
But, the problem is a few things: A: I ain't into MMA other than I like Kimbo Slice and I can pick Tito Ortiz and a few other guys out of a line-up. I'm not a guy to be writing a column on a sport that I know next to nothing about... and I don't have the time to learn.
I also don't have the desire to buy those $50 PPVs which are crucial for me if I was to do this properly.
And... well, you seem to be asking me to do a Mop-Up like column. That's not going to happen, ever. I can't do the Mop-Ups anymore... believe me, I tried. It doesn't matter what the theme is or who I am talking to, that gimmick has dried up for me.
Plus, the Mop-Up... or a Mop-Up type of column... humor oriented where I bust on what I see... that works in Pro Wrestling because of the absolute STUPIDITY of pro wrestling. This is jacked up boys banging against one another in simulated fights and in between, you had really poor writers creating really bad storylines with really terrible non-actors reading their lines really, really awkwardly. What I did was enter a world where people took this business so seriously and said, "Hey, isn't this retarded??" and people said, "Shit... he's right!"
MMA isn't retarded. The storylines aren't silly. And it doesn't lend itself to comedy writings. I wouldn't last and I'd come off as a goofy know-it-all.
If I tried to bust balls on MMA, I'd come across like Scooter Keith whenever he tries to be funny while "ranting" about wrestling. At that point I would have no choice but to take my computer and throw it in the bathtub with me in it.
Dude... I just don't have the motivation or the moxie, OR the fresh ideas to do a column on MMA.
So no thank you, but thanks for the offer.
4) July 21, 2008 8:36 AM... Anonymous said... The "Money In The Bank" gimmick was elevated? What? Winners have always taken the belt the way C.M. did, it's nothing new. What is with Hyatte and this Punk obsession? He's been on the guy's ass since BEFORE he came into the WWE. The IWC marks are high on the guy? So what, they're high on a lot of people. I mean I'm not defending Punk here, I don't give a shit, it's just kinda weird that Hyatte is on the guy's ass. I think his reaction to the Ledger incident coupled with Punk's "clean" image adds up to something we don't know about.
Well, there's a lot about me that you people don't know about.
Obsession... HA!! I don't obsess about anything or anyone... and there are more then a few people reading this who can attest to the fact that I can go a LOOOOONG time without contacting them... much to their shock.
A couple of months ago, someone here accused me of obsessing over that little fairy Alex Lucard... (and take a guess which Joker he thinks was the end-all/be-all)
I'm not obsessed with Punk, I don't care about Punk... I'm "down" on the guy because I'm not impressed and never was. I like Joe. Samoa Joe is awesome. Punk ain't.
I was down on him in my column because all the marks loved him. I like pissing on the marks parade. I like all this Ring of Honor groupies who will travel 200 miles to see a show, but will whine like a broke-ass bitch about the WWE PPV prices (the Torch's Sean Radican does this constantly).
I'm being the clear-head in this Punk mania at the moment. I swear to Christ I read on a message board somewhere, "THANK GOD PUNK WON THE BELT, FINALLY THE WWE IS ON THE RIGHT PATH!!" he was being serious too.
Punk is not going to last the summer as champ. He can't. He's not getting the long-term champ push like Cena got. They aren't backing him. Are YOU getting the sense that the WWE is saying, "Meet Our New Torch Bearer!!" with the guy? He's not being pushed, marketed, or built around. He's just... he's just part of the big ol' re-do that they needed when the ratings started dropping at alarming rates and million dollar give-aways weren't helping. He is a kick in the pants to make people look.
He won't last as champ. He's a lame duck placeholder.
Sorry, but the only way Punk will start getting groomed for the long haul is if these marks who will blow all that gas money on traveling to ROH shows and buy their DVDs will cough up for WWE PPVs and buy WWE advertisers wares and fill up the building just for him and buy his merchandise and blow the roof off the place whenever he walks out and screams, "ITS CLOBBERIN' TIME" (the irony being... he's usually the one who ends up getting clobbered),
Plus his legs look like they are filled with Yorkshire pudding... and I've used this joke before.
Plus he can take a god damned shower for once BEFORE stepping out.
And Straight Edge my ass... he's been there long enough... he's taking pain pills.
Nothing against the guy... but you can't honestly believe in your heart that Punk is being groomed for a long, comfortable stretch as a champion. He's the WWE's new Rob Van Dam. Flashy, well liked, always pushed solidly, but will never be on top for the long haul.
5) July 18, 2008 12:08 AM... Anonymous said... NPP is calling you!www.Nopantsprovided.com/forums. Teach 'em a lesson!
Ooo, get into another AWESOME net feud on a message board?????
I taught them a lesson once already... where I was single handidly responsible for their most famous thread ever... something called, "Ever wanted to prank Blade and or Hyatte?" They never saw so much traffic before or since.
So, naturally, they lost the whole thread.
They got nothing over there I'm interested in.
Next time... PORN... and some other things...
Thursday, July 17, 2008
What was going to be a few lines turned into...
I'm very busy these days.
CM Punk was not elevated by winning the title. The "Money in the Bank" gimmick was elevated.
CM Punk spent his Monday night in a mid-show match with Kane (was it even for the title?) where he squeaked out a technical victory by crawling back into the ring first. Kane then beat the shit out of him until Batista ran in, ran Kane off, then after some nonsense, Spine busted Punk so hard the camera got hair grease all over it.
So, the Raw Hvwt champ spent his Monday making two men look strong while he looked weaker than an Internet Lovebond.
Punk is not the future. And his legs look like they are filled with grape jelly.
And who did you expect bought those stupid WWE Shopzone shirts?? Normal people? NO!! Kids and losers. Kids. And. Losers. And Internet Predators.
You see a grown man wearing a WWE t-shirt... you point him to the nearest schoolyard and then you place bets on how many in the WWE publicity department will quit within the week.
White trash. That's your wrestling fanbase. White trash. And Canadians. It's why the brands will re-merge once MyNetwork TV goes under and Smackdown can't get a decent timeslot.
Once upon a time, for a very small period, it was pretty alright to sport your NWO shirt or your Austin 3:16 shirt... yeah, that's all done now.
But on the plus side, John Cena's doing those Fusion shaver commercials... and while the one he does with Vince is just white trash through and through, there is one he does solo where, for one brief instant, he is thrown in with Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, and some other mainstreamer... for one very fast instant, John Cena looked mainstream. And respectable.
That Fusion nonsense can suck a cock. Gillette three blades have constantly made my head a shiny, pretty, tittysmooth pearl of skull flesh.
The thing about fucking black girls is that they constantly tell you how lucky you are to be getting sum'a'dat. And there is NO hair pulling. But they will play if they like what you're up to. And, man, do they LOOOOVE getting eaten out.
The thing about fucking white girls is that if they know you have entered the dark jungle... they will work extra-hard to top whatever super-exotic wild-ass ugly bumping that went on between you and the African Princess.
White chicks kiss better. Black chicks cum harder.
The real All-Stars of the All-Star game the other night were at third base during the Opening Ceremonies. Mike Schmidt, George Brett, and Wade Boggs (hold up the Yankees cap all you want, Wade... you are a Red Sox and you will always be) looked like they could've cleaned house at ANY New York bar that night and taken up at least 2 Super-Model 19 year olds apiece.
Me? I stopped watching once Papelbon left the mound and I couldn't recognize 95% of either team.
Batman on Tuesday. I was worried that Ledger (and by the way, FUCK HIM... drug addled cumstain) would put out a sly, criminal mastermind/supergenious Joker. So far, all the reviews, from serious to fanboy, have delivered raves. Can't wait.
AND DIDN'T I TELL YOU THE IRON MAN WOULD NOT BE THE GREATEST COMIC BOOK MOVIE EVER MADE????? Assholes.
Hmmmm.... I want to leave by telling you something about me... hmmm....
Oh... I always had AWESOME sense of self fashion. I know exactly what looks best on me and how to WORK IT!!
Lame, I know... oh, and those who think they have me wrapped are usually the ones I own.
I need beer and more free time.
CM Punk was not elevated by winning the title. The "Money in the Bank" gimmick was elevated.
CM Punk spent his Monday night in a mid-show match with Kane (was it even for the title?) where he squeaked out a technical victory by crawling back into the ring first. Kane then beat the shit out of him until Batista ran in, ran Kane off, then after some nonsense, Spine busted Punk so hard the camera got hair grease all over it.
So, the Raw Hvwt champ spent his Monday making two men look strong while he looked weaker than an Internet Lovebond.
Punk is not the future. And his legs look like they are filled with grape jelly.
And who did you expect bought those stupid WWE Shopzone shirts?? Normal people? NO!! Kids and losers. Kids. And. Losers. And Internet Predators.
You see a grown man wearing a WWE t-shirt... you point him to the nearest schoolyard and then you place bets on how many in the WWE publicity department will quit within the week.
White trash. That's your wrestling fanbase. White trash. And Canadians. It's why the brands will re-merge once MyNetwork TV goes under and Smackdown can't get a decent timeslot.
Once upon a time, for a very small period, it was pretty alright to sport your NWO shirt or your Austin 3:16 shirt... yeah, that's all done now.
But on the plus side, John Cena's doing those Fusion shaver commercials... and while the one he does with Vince is just white trash through and through, there is one he does solo where, for one brief instant, he is thrown in with Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, and some other mainstreamer... for one very fast instant, John Cena looked mainstream. And respectable.
That Fusion nonsense can suck a cock. Gillette three blades have constantly made my head a shiny, pretty, tittysmooth pearl of skull flesh.
The thing about fucking black girls is that they constantly tell you how lucky you are to be getting sum'a'dat. And there is NO hair pulling. But they will play if they like what you're up to. And, man, do they LOOOOVE getting eaten out.
The thing about fucking white girls is that if they know you have entered the dark jungle... they will work extra-hard to top whatever super-exotic wild-ass ugly bumping that went on between you and the African Princess.
White chicks kiss better. Black chicks cum harder.
The real All-Stars of the All-Star game the other night were at third base during the Opening Ceremonies. Mike Schmidt, George Brett, and Wade Boggs (hold up the Yankees cap all you want, Wade... you are a Red Sox and you will always be) looked like they could've cleaned house at ANY New York bar that night and taken up at least 2 Super-Model 19 year olds apiece.
Me? I stopped watching once Papelbon left the mound and I couldn't recognize 95% of either team.
Batman on Tuesday. I was worried that Ledger (and by the way, FUCK HIM... drug addled cumstain) would put out a sly, criminal mastermind/supergenious Joker. So far, all the reviews, from serious to fanboy, have delivered raves. Can't wait.
AND DIDN'T I TELL YOU THE IRON MAN WOULD NOT BE THE GREATEST COMIC BOOK MOVIE EVER MADE????? Assholes.
Hmmmm.... I want to leave by telling you something about me... hmmm....
Oh... I always had AWESOME sense of self fashion. I know exactly what looks best on me and how to WORK IT!!
Lame, I know... oh, and those who think they have me wrapped are usually the ones I own.
I need beer and more free time.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Lookit Me, I'm Posting!
Greetings.
Nothing like a fat, juicy political debate to fill up the comments.
And of course, this bweing the innerweb and your cheerful host lets you hide under a blankie of privacy, it devolves to name calling.
SWEET!!
I've got a giant backload of comments to swing through, and here's the best part... they will be RANDOMLY SCATTERED throughout with no sense of placement, date, importance, preference, or interest. And I've got January, February, March, April, May, AND June, AND July....7 months of comments.
7 months is long, 7 years is longer - too long, in fact. There's something secret and hidden in that sentence.
OFF WE GO!!!
1) February 15, 2008 11:50 AM Anonymous said... Do you still Nair your pubes?
From time to time, yes. It really does make an ugly weed turn into a lovely fun rose. And it provides a nice pillow for one to lay her... HER cheek on whilst she goes to work.
It also creates the illusion of extra size, which I BADLY need. Why, if I was any smaller, I'd be a construction worker from Canada.
This is why I take great pride in my long, strong, piano playing fingers and it's also why I chew gum foir hours on end, just to keep my jaw muscles and my tongue well-honed.
It ain't what'cha got, it's what'cha DO, my brothers. Any asshole with a big shlongy can pump away for 10 minutes... what I do takes MAD SKILLZ.
2) January 14, 2008 5:14 AM Anonymous said... At your peak, how many readers did you have?
Hmm, that would be Scoops... 1998-99... right smack dab in the middle of the Attitude Era.... I know I tagged about 100'000 clicks for the Raw Mop-Up, and the Nitro Mop-Up a lot less... but back then Al Isaacs never had the technology for unique visits or anything like that. So, factor in all the times I clicked to re-read my brillance.... I had about 90'000 readers. Give or take.
The irony being: No one has those sort of numbewrs anymore, their just aren't enough wrestling fans out there... yet EVERYONE is charging a fee for a special "members only" site. Just recently Jason Powell started one. I wonder how long it'll take before he's asking Wade Keller, "Why ain't I RICH yet???" (because, maybe, you overestimated your attraction... rent-boy)
Stooges... and what is with that picture of Bryan Alverez and some little kid he's probably molesting posing while they eat food?? Fuckin' doucheheads.
3) April 21, 2008 9:40 AM... Adam said... Just found the blog...I had been wondering where you've been. I've gone through the archives and have enjoyed reading your stuff again. I don't know if you've seen this or not but when you google hyatte the third thing that comes up is this link: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hyatte
Before you all click it, if you haven't already. From the Urban Dictionary:
HYATTE: The highest form of Homosexuality known to man. Usually consists of watchin pro wrestling just to see sweaty men rub up on each other, pointing out who stuffs their trunks. Also, while doing so is on the phone for 5 hours with another man. Went I went to San Francisco I saw these Fairies. They weren't just gay, they were Hyatte gay.
This was created on April 26, 2004. 8 people gave it a thumbs up, 6 people gave it a thumbs down.
I would'a thought the highest form of homosexuality involved fisting... and ass to mouth... and gerbils... I stand corrected.
4) January 18, 2008 12:49 PM kitten said... why must you be such an assholeeeee hyatte!!!!!!!
Oh Kitten, where have you been hiding.
This must be the month everyone with a vagina abandons Daddy.
5) January 18, 2008 9:34 AM El Mojito said... Now that your comments section resembles the weekly meeting at the Homo Association you might as well go ahead and read the Dark Tower. This can't get any more faggy.
You know, I still haven't read the Dark Tower epic. I probably should, but it seems too "Dungeons and Dragons" for me.
And Stephen King has gotten strange lately. Of the books he's written since his "retirement": The Cell was very good, Lisey's Story was horrible... I couldn't get into it 100 pages in. So now he's got this recent one, Duma Key, and I'm afraid to try it because I think Lisey's Story is the sort of direction he wants to go now... deeper and deeper into the protagonist's head. My favorite King books were always when he had fun with his characters, whether the tone he was going for was light or heavy. Like, his early works such as Christine and Firestarter. Both books were extra-serious, but the characterizations were easy-going and coherent. This Lisey bitch spent too much time babbling along about nonsense.
I recently tore through Needful Things again and that was some fun shit... the part where the fat chick put on those sunglasses and suddenly was being manhandled by Elvis Presley was hilarious.
The man simply has not been the same since he was ran over by that truck.
6) July 3, 2008 11:17 PM... Jesse Baker said... Your "Best of Garbage" CD, is it the official "Best of.." Absolute Garbage or a Mix CD you made in response to the shoddy tracklisting of Absolute Garbage? Also what's your favorite song by the group?
Ugh... mixing my own track listing... too much work.
I have "Absolute Garbage" and am fine with the trach listing. Girl's got some pipes on her. They toasted out simply because everyone toasts out once thier era ends. Garbage was never anything that could transcend the musical culture of the time. Plus, Shirley manson debutted a new dyke haircut... bad move, bad, bad, bad.
"I'm Only Happy When It Rains" is my favorite garbage song... and it was also featured on an episode of Homicide (which will always be The Wire but with network interference) and The X-Files so people a lot cooler then me loved the song as well.
Somewhere along their way, Garbage decided to go existential with their songs. I defy anyone to explain what Push It is supposed to mean. That probably killed them too.
7) July 4, 2008 3:56 PM... Mark said... "7 years removed from 911 and we may elect a man with Muslim ties?" you fucking americans are embarrassing, you really are. Who cares about religious ties? ACCEPT THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WITH OTHER BACKGROUNDS TO YOU ALL OVER THE WORLD. Dickhead. Everywhere you go, neighbours and strangers who don't think like you do but are good pepole. The fact of religion shouldn't come into it, it should only be about whether that person is a good person. This is why America is fucked & going down the tube because of your stupid isolationist viewpoint... Do you know what? I can't be arsed telling you all the reasons why you are blatantly a total fucking wanker, but let me assure you that you are one. Prick. Different subject altogether, Hyatte I downloaded alot of chinese democracy tracks and while they aint shit they aren't good enough which makes me sad.
That Obama commenter was such a fucking tool.
Oye Mate, so a bloody bloke from the UK decided to question me bleedin' ass on me American philosophy??
You limeys have a tosser over there named Doug Williams who has a talent for shagging ex-WWE Divas... and I intentionally put in the plural.
But tosser, please recognize something... while you lash at me for not accepting others of different races, color, and/or creeds, you seem to be ignoring the irony...
America is based... god damned BASED on opening its doors to ANYONE who wishes to come on over... legally, of course, and make something of themselves here. In any major city you can find white Catholics rubbing shoulders with Africans from parts of the dark continent so primitive that they still have gazelle meat stuck in their fucking teeth. We walk alongside Chinese, Japanese, Canadians, Russians (the shiftiest of the shifties. Loan thewm a dollar and you'll find twenty missing from your wallet), Albanians, Mexicans, and even the British.
You call Americans isolationists... no, ye ol' rug shagger, we are SO full of SO many different cultures and religions that our predjudice comes from not understanding all these god damn cultures and how to handle them!! Jesus Christ... we just recently learned how to handle the gays (compliment them on their perfume and fart a lot in their presense). This is the first black guy to get into our highest elected office... most of us are PROUD of this.
Just wondering, how many black Prime Ministers has your country elected? And while your being so high and mighty and pissing on America... please remember that we never kept a palace maintained square in the center of London for a Monarchy that, as far as we can tell, does nothing. Yet you still praise the Queen Mum, don'tcha.
How many black Kings has England crowned?
My friend, America doesn't have a lot to be proud of lately, but we are still the melting pot... we stemmed from rebellion and free entry... you guys are 10 times older than us and still keep the inbred WHITE royals fed and prosperous.
You're just mad that America never accepted Robbie Williams.
7) July 5, 2008 1:20 PM... Anonymous said... Uhhh Chris, you see the monster in Cloverfield about 30 minutes into the movie.
Uhh Anonymous, my point is that you saw bits and pieces of the monster throughout the whole movie, but they never let us get a sense of what it looked like top to bottom. Many, many critics cited their frustration over this.
Uhh anonymous, it was like Alanis Morrisette's first video "You Outta Know", where you never really got a good, full-out look at her.
UHH, ANONYMOUS, NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO USE "UHH" AS IF YOU ARE POINTING OUT THE "OBVIOUS" IN THE MOST CONDENSCENDING WAY POSSIBLE, PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU ARE 100% CONVINCED THAT YOU ARE RIGHT AND I AM WRONG!!!
Uhh, you were wrong, and a bonehead.
By the way, one of the writers of Cloverfield is Drew Goddard, who also wrote many of the best episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel
8) July 5, 2008 5:40 PM... Porn Valley said... Every...single...friggin'...girl in the theater I saw the flick in cried buckets. Did he snap Sam's neck or did he pull a Wayne Brady and choke a bitch?
Porn Valley (maybe my favorite reader here) is commenting on the dog death scene in I Am Legend.
Since they had a close-up of Will Smith's face during the kill the dog scene, and since we didn't hear a snap, it's clear he smothered the bitch.
By the way, I didn't cry because I knew the dog would die from the first second I saw her on screen.
Porn Valley, am I wrong for having a bit of a mancrush on Kurt Lockwood? I mean, the man gives lessons on how to fuck a girl properly.
I'm going to end it now. It's 3 am. I must go night nights.
I'll post more, just shorter...
Nothing like a fat, juicy political debate to fill up the comments.
And of course, this bweing the innerweb and your cheerful host lets you hide under a blankie of privacy, it devolves to name calling.
SWEET!!
I've got a giant backload of comments to swing through, and here's the best part... they will be RANDOMLY SCATTERED throughout with no sense of placement, date, importance, preference, or interest. And I've got January, February, March, April, May, AND June, AND July....7 months of comments.
7 months is long, 7 years is longer - too long, in fact. There's something secret and hidden in that sentence.
OFF WE GO!!!
1) February 15, 2008 11:50 AM Anonymous said... Do you still Nair your pubes?
From time to time, yes. It really does make an ugly weed turn into a lovely fun rose. And it provides a nice pillow for one to lay her... HER cheek on whilst she goes to work.
It also creates the illusion of extra size, which I BADLY need. Why, if I was any smaller, I'd be a construction worker from Canada.
This is why I take great pride in my long, strong, piano playing fingers and it's also why I chew gum foir hours on end, just to keep my jaw muscles and my tongue well-honed.
It ain't what'cha got, it's what'cha DO, my brothers. Any asshole with a big shlongy can pump away for 10 minutes... what I do takes MAD SKILLZ.
2) January 14, 2008 5:14 AM Anonymous said... At your peak, how many readers did you have?
Hmm, that would be Scoops... 1998-99... right smack dab in the middle of the Attitude Era.... I know I tagged about 100'000 clicks for the Raw Mop-Up, and the Nitro Mop-Up a lot less... but back then Al Isaacs never had the technology for unique visits or anything like that. So, factor in all the times I clicked to re-read my brillance.... I had about 90'000 readers. Give or take.
The irony being: No one has those sort of numbewrs anymore, their just aren't enough wrestling fans out there... yet EVERYONE is charging a fee for a special "members only" site. Just recently Jason Powell started one. I wonder how long it'll take before he's asking Wade Keller, "Why ain't I RICH yet???" (because, maybe, you overestimated your attraction... rent-boy)
Stooges... and what is with that picture of Bryan Alverez and some little kid he's probably molesting posing while they eat food?? Fuckin' doucheheads.
3) April 21, 2008 9:40 AM... Adam said... Just found the blog...I had been wondering where you've been. I've gone through the archives and have enjoyed reading your stuff again. I don't know if you've seen this or not but when you google hyatte the third thing that comes up is this link: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hyatte
Before you all click it, if you haven't already. From the Urban Dictionary:
HYATTE: The highest form of Homosexuality known to man. Usually consists of watchin pro wrestling just to see sweaty men rub up on each other, pointing out who stuffs their trunks. Also, while doing so is on the phone for 5 hours with another man. Went I went to San Francisco I saw these Fairies. They weren't just gay, they were Hyatte gay.
This was created on April 26, 2004. 8 people gave it a thumbs up, 6 people gave it a thumbs down.
I would'a thought the highest form of homosexuality involved fisting... and ass to mouth... and gerbils... I stand corrected.
4) January 18, 2008 12:49 PM kitten said... why must you be such an assholeeeee hyatte!!!!!!!
Oh Kitten, where have you been hiding.
This must be the month everyone with a vagina abandons Daddy.
5) January 18, 2008 9:34 AM El Mojito said... Now that your comments section resembles the weekly meeting at the Homo Association you might as well go ahead and read the Dark Tower. This can't get any more faggy.
You know, I still haven't read the Dark Tower epic. I probably should, but it seems too "Dungeons and Dragons" for me.
And Stephen King has gotten strange lately. Of the books he's written since his "retirement": The Cell was very good, Lisey's Story was horrible... I couldn't get into it 100 pages in. So now he's got this recent one, Duma Key, and I'm afraid to try it because I think Lisey's Story is the sort of direction he wants to go now... deeper and deeper into the protagonist's head. My favorite King books were always when he had fun with his characters, whether the tone he was going for was light or heavy. Like, his early works such as Christine and Firestarter. Both books were extra-serious, but the characterizations were easy-going and coherent. This Lisey bitch spent too much time babbling along about nonsense.
I recently tore through Needful Things again and that was some fun shit... the part where the fat chick put on those sunglasses and suddenly was being manhandled by Elvis Presley was hilarious.
The man simply has not been the same since he was ran over by that truck.
6) July 3, 2008 11:17 PM... Jesse Baker said... Your "Best of Garbage" CD, is it the official "Best of.." Absolute Garbage or a Mix CD you made in response to the shoddy tracklisting of Absolute Garbage? Also what's your favorite song by the group?
Ugh... mixing my own track listing... too much work.
I have "Absolute Garbage" and am fine with the trach listing. Girl's got some pipes on her. They toasted out simply because everyone toasts out once thier era ends. Garbage was never anything that could transcend the musical culture of the time. Plus, Shirley manson debutted a new dyke haircut... bad move, bad, bad, bad.
"I'm Only Happy When It Rains" is my favorite garbage song... and it was also featured on an episode of Homicide (which will always be The Wire but with network interference) and The X-Files so people a lot cooler then me loved the song as well.
Somewhere along their way, Garbage decided to go existential with their songs. I defy anyone to explain what Push It is supposed to mean. That probably killed them too.
7) July 4, 2008 3:56 PM... Mark said... "7 years removed from 911 and we may elect a man with Muslim ties?" you fucking americans are embarrassing, you really are. Who cares about religious ties? ACCEPT THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WITH OTHER BACKGROUNDS TO YOU ALL OVER THE WORLD. Dickhead. Everywhere you go, neighbours and strangers who don't think like you do but are good pepole. The fact of religion shouldn't come into it, it should only be about whether that person is a good person. This is why America is fucked & going down the tube because of your stupid isolationist viewpoint... Do you know what? I can't be arsed telling you all the reasons why you are blatantly a total fucking wanker, but let me assure you that you are one. Prick. Different subject altogether, Hyatte I downloaded alot of chinese democracy tracks and while they aint shit they aren't good enough which makes me sad.
That Obama commenter was such a fucking tool.
Oye Mate, so a bloody bloke from the UK decided to question me bleedin' ass on me American philosophy??
You limeys have a tosser over there named Doug Williams who has a talent for shagging ex-WWE Divas... and I intentionally put in the plural.
But tosser, please recognize something... while you lash at me for not accepting others of different races, color, and/or creeds, you seem to be ignoring the irony...
America is based... god damned BASED on opening its doors to ANYONE who wishes to come on over... legally, of course, and make something of themselves here. In any major city you can find white Catholics rubbing shoulders with Africans from parts of the dark continent so primitive that they still have gazelle meat stuck in their fucking teeth. We walk alongside Chinese, Japanese, Canadians, Russians (the shiftiest of the shifties. Loan thewm a dollar and you'll find twenty missing from your wallet), Albanians, Mexicans, and even the British.
You call Americans isolationists... no, ye ol' rug shagger, we are SO full of SO many different cultures and religions that our predjudice comes from not understanding all these god damn cultures and how to handle them!! Jesus Christ... we just recently learned how to handle the gays (compliment them on their perfume and fart a lot in their presense). This is the first black guy to get into our highest elected office... most of us are PROUD of this.
Just wondering, how many black Prime Ministers has your country elected? And while your being so high and mighty and pissing on America... please remember that we never kept a palace maintained square in the center of London for a Monarchy that, as far as we can tell, does nothing. Yet you still praise the Queen Mum, don'tcha.
How many black Kings has England crowned?
My friend, America doesn't have a lot to be proud of lately, but we are still the melting pot... we stemmed from rebellion and free entry... you guys are 10 times older than us and still keep the inbred WHITE royals fed and prosperous.
You're just mad that America never accepted Robbie Williams.
7) July 5, 2008 1:20 PM... Anonymous said... Uhhh Chris, you see the monster in Cloverfield about 30 minutes into the movie.
Uhh Anonymous, my point is that you saw bits and pieces of the monster throughout the whole movie, but they never let us get a sense of what it looked like top to bottom. Many, many critics cited their frustration over this.
Uhh anonymous, it was like Alanis Morrisette's first video "You Outta Know", where you never really got a good, full-out look at her.
UHH, ANONYMOUS, NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO USE "UHH" AS IF YOU ARE POINTING OUT THE "OBVIOUS" IN THE MOST CONDENSCENDING WAY POSSIBLE, PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU ARE 100% CONVINCED THAT YOU ARE RIGHT AND I AM WRONG!!!
Uhh, you were wrong, and a bonehead.
By the way, one of the writers of Cloverfield is Drew Goddard, who also wrote many of the best episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel
8) July 5, 2008 5:40 PM... Porn Valley said... Every...single...friggin'...girl in the theater I saw the flick in cried buckets. Did he snap Sam's neck or did he pull a Wayne Brady and choke a bitch?
Porn Valley (maybe my favorite reader here) is commenting on the dog death scene in I Am Legend.
Since they had a close-up of Will Smith's face during the kill the dog scene, and since we didn't hear a snap, it's clear he smothered the bitch.
By the way, I didn't cry because I knew the dog would die from the first second I saw her on screen.
Porn Valley, am I wrong for having a bit of a mancrush on Kurt Lockwood? I mean, the man gives lessons on how to fuck a girl properly.
I'm going to end it now. It's 3 am. I must go night nights.
I'll post more, just shorter...
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Excuses, Excuses, and comments
Hello there.
I get it. I get that you want more and more stuff here from me. And I get that, in some way, its annoying when I'm not posting daily, or even steadily.
See, I'm busy, more busy than ever before during the ten years I've been online. I am not required to submit a column for a site week after week. This is my blog, featuring whatever the fuck I want to write about, at MY time and MY leisure.
You are getting your money's worth, kids. Lots of whining over free shit.
When I want to write something and if I have something I want to say, I will produce something. Lately, all I like doing when I get home at night is to kick back with beer and chill out on the couch.
July 2, 2008 2:29 PM... graydaloomer said... You know, the begging for comments IS getting old. It's why I maybe check in 2 times a week instead of 5+. Even when he does post now, it's 1/2 "secret" stuff that we just don't care about, and 1/4 begging for more comments. 1/4 of it is the stuff we remember, and even then it's watered down. Look, I love Hyatte. Have since the beginning. I was there before the red stripe (remember the red screen?) and have followed him since. I even coined a stupid little acronym for my love of his writing about 5 years ago: HFFE (Hyatte Fan For Fucking Ever) and now it's all a wash. I quit watching wrestling a month ago, and haven't missed it. I might have to say the same here.
Then go dude, leave, split, fuck off. This isn't a deal where I care about readership anymore. If you only want to check in once a week, or once a fucking month, go for it.
And I don't "beg" for comments, I ask for them. Why? To give me something to read on my own blog and to give YOU PEOPLE something to read too, and participate in. Hell, I even let you post in secret. Is that an issue? Then go away.
As for the secret shit? Well, this blog was around for a lot longer then most of you realize... and it was mostly meant for one person. Now since its my primary form of intrawebbers communication, everyone can share... but its also, sometimes, the sole form of communication between myself and the certain someone... because the certain someone can be a world class moody asshole when she wants to be.
So don't threaten me with leaving... it doesn't work. And it just shows that you really don't know me if you try pushing those buttons.
You whiney bunch of twinks. Ten years of free work delivered some of the best wrestling columns you ever read. Well, aside from some amazon gift certificates, various porn videos, various shirts, Fleabag, and a long lasting semi-friendship with Trish Stratus (who is another flake)... I haven't really gotten much in return. I got diddly AND squish in return, in fact.
So shut the fuck up. I'm busy making money, since none of you ever provided it.
I'm doing comments now.
1) June 12, 2008 10:27 PM. Anonymous said... Thats some pretty played out music you listen to there...you might as well throw some ZZTop and Poison in there as well...and every one knows that sinatra was best on Capitol..for chrissakes, he was singing sonny bono tunes on reprise!!
Referring to my current summer lineup for my auto CD changer. (reminder: Emimen's first, White Stripes latest, Rolling Stones Hot Rocks: disc 4, Best of Rob Zombie, Sinatra The Reprise Years: disc 4, Best of Garbage, Jay Z the Black Album, U2: Achtung Baby, Rhianna, and Eminem's second CD)
Played out... played out?? What, should I ROCK OUT with Panic at the Disco or Fall Out Boy or New Kids on The Block? I hear they are ROCKIN' again!
Jesus Moses Christ Allmighty. What should I listen too? ASSHOLE!! Douchie Bag and the Morning Chills?? Skippy Bonefuck and the Frat Fags?? Sticker Hard and Lenny Fried Dough?? How about I buy Motley Crue's latest and JAM???
Rock is dead, babycakes. Starved out by paranoid radio stations that only play establish acts with songs that ONLY meet their ever-decreasing criteria of what is allowable on their airwaves?
Listen, the last time rock exploded and figured out a way to be something new was when Kurt Cobain wore a t-shirt and shouted, "Here we are now! Entertain us!!" and that was 18 years ago! I saw Motely Crue on Letterman the other night playing a new song off their new CD Saints of Los Angeles... and it was somethiing they could have put on Theatre of Pain in 1985 and no one would've noticed any difference. They are trying to reach a new market with 25 year old shit.
Aerosmith has gone top 40, Bon Jovi has gone country, its all about what gets kids into clubs and onto the dance floor these days.
So don't rag on my "dated" musical tastes, daddio. MTV doesn't even play videos no mo'. It's about what I'm feelin' and when I want to feel it... and I'm not in line waiting for the ticket box to open to catch me some of dat new Crue, yo.
Maybe Ax'l will save rock. Maybe Chinese Democracy will be worth the 14 year wait and overhaul everything... anyone think this is remotely possible?
OF COURSE IT ISN'T... but at least Ax'l will show that he's been keeping up to date on what's going on out there. The Crue boys sure haven't.
2) June 9, 2008 7:33 AM... Anonymous said... Well Hyatte, the Celtics look good huh? And how could you puss out and have a facebook account? And how come I couldn't find you with my facebook account or my myspace...err... nevermind. Elect the brotha??? Um, this is the dawning of the end of the world. Not cuz he's black, but just look at all the earthquakes, bad weather, etc. 7 years removed from 911 and we may elect a man with Muslim ties?
There's nothing on the Facebook account, trust me. Look at how much I update this blog.... what chance do you think my Facebook account has of being up-to-date?
Yes, it is the dawning of the end of the world, and white republicans have caused it.
Obama will be our new president because we are desperate, DESPERATE for change. We are hurting, people, badly, and its because the son of one of our worst Presidents (one term) became maybe the single worst President we ever had.
And Hillary lost it because she played Clinton politics and the country got right sick and tired of it. We so badly want a fresh voice and a unique vision to guide us back out of this black hole of suck we are in. We'll take anyone. Even one with Muslim ties.
3) June 9, 2008 3:22 PM Anonymous said.... Joanie loved Chachi more than anyone on Ham Slow's Myspace buddy list too. And Chachi didn't have a Myspace account. See where I'm going with this? - Greg H
Nope... not even a little... and why use a 28 year old TV show which lasted one season as an analogy?
4) June 9, 2008 8:51 PM... Bigly said... and that's leaving out Burt's awesome guest stint on the X-Files as well as his work in Boogie Nights and Striptease...the dude's an american icon -- Harrison Ford without having to work as much cause he's got hobbies.
Burt Reynolds was the number 1 box office star for most of the late 70's and early 80's... then he picked the worst toupee imaginable and suddenly, he wasn't looking so good anymore. Plus he had this amazing ability to pick the worst possible scripts.
Funny you should mention Harrison Ford. Years ago, Ford was on Letterman and Dave ran a clip of a young Harrison playing a punk kid getting roughed up by Burt Reynolds on one of Burt's old TV shows. Back to the talk show, Dave was remarking about Ford's performance and age, "Look at you, you were just a kid."
Ford nodded slowly, with a nice smirk on.
Dave, "And look at you, getting roughed up by Burt Reynolds like that?"
Ford did nothing.
Dave, "Ain't the way it works now. Is it, my friend."
Ford slowly shook his head. The audience laughed.
It was a nifty moment... so much so that I can still remember it today.
You want to know when Burt Reynolds lost it? Watch The Cannonball Run and then The Cannonball Run 2... nevermind the lazy plots or lame one-liners... just watch the two and watch Burt Reynolds go from a real life Hollywood star to a pompous, fat gasbag just collecting what he thoiught was the latest in fat, easy paychecks.
5) June 12, 2008 10:30 PM... Anonymous said... ah facebook and myspace arent that bad, as long as you don't approach them the way a 12 year old would..."oh! she added me! she must be the one!"... friggin bullshit man, use it to network dude...get yourself a job..and don't put personal shit like cock pics on there, it will only make you look like a douche
No cock pictures... right.
I have a job, dickhead... it's why you are all whining for me to post more.
I am holding onto one promise and there is no Myspace account out there that is mine.
I tried networking from my time online and it got me nothing but lies and broken promises and back stabbing.
5) June 9, 2008 8:35 AM... Patricia said... Yay! Awesome entry, back to the good stuff. Good work kid. Hey, did you see Cloverfield?
No. The reviews scared me away.
The movie's the ultimate cocktease (heh... irony)... you don't even see the monster until the end, and then its, "what the fuck did we just see??" That screams, "WAIT FOR CABLE" to me.
The sequel should kick some ass!
And I have never seen an episode of Lost and WILL NOT until they put out the whole series on one DVD super-pack... then I'll watch it chapter 1 to the very end and let the thing build on me organically with no waiting.
Can't wait for JJ Abrams new version of Star Trek, tho'.
Patricia... are you on one of your little tiffs again?
5) June 20, 2008 8:34 PM... U. Shoulda said... check out these chum...p(s) trying to make yer girl funny. She was yers to f, rat http://www.f4wonline.com/content/view/5733/105/ it's a Triple H! Hawr, Hyuck and Heyyy-o!
Oh yes, Missy Hyatt's "day in the life" thing...
Missy didn't write that. Someone else did for her. Have you read Missy's stuff? She is incapable of producing ANYTHING that detailed or fully formed. That wasn't her... not even close.
Just know, people, if I ever went back to the DOI, I would chase Missy Hyatt back off the web within my first month... if that.
And I don't even weant to fuck her anymore... there's something very gross about a 40 year old crackhead with a litre of rat piss in her face who still thinks she's as hot as she was back in 1988... who's still hanging onto the barnacles of a silly career that was dead and buried before the Monday Night Wars began.
6) June 28, 2008 8:45 PM... Anonymous said... the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Nothing has changed, son. I've never promised anything more than what I've been giving.
And I'm going to stop now. I promise NOTHING for the future...
.... well.... maybe I'll crank out more comments for the weekend. Happy 4th of July, people... enjoy those crazy fireworks which haven't changed or eveloved since the 60's.
I get it. I get that you want more and more stuff here from me. And I get that, in some way, its annoying when I'm not posting daily, or even steadily.
See, I'm busy, more busy than ever before during the ten years I've been online. I am not required to submit a column for a site week after week. This is my blog, featuring whatever the fuck I want to write about, at MY time and MY leisure.
You are getting your money's worth, kids. Lots of whining over free shit.
When I want to write something and if I have something I want to say, I will produce something. Lately, all I like doing when I get home at night is to kick back with beer and chill out on the couch.
July 2, 2008 2:29 PM... graydaloomer said... You know, the begging for comments IS getting old. It's why I maybe check in 2 times a week instead of 5+. Even when he does post now, it's 1/2 "secret" stuff that we just don't care about, and 1/4 begging for more comments. 1/4 of it is the stuff we remember, and even then it's watered down. Look, I love Hyatte. Have since the beginning. I was there before the red stripe (remember the red screen?) and have followed him since. I even coined a stupid little acronym for my love of his writing about 5 years ago: HFFE (Hyatte Fan For Fucking Ever) and now it's all a wash. I quit watching wrestling a month ago, and haven't missed it. I might have to say the same here.
Then go dude, leave, split, fuck off. This isn't a deal where I care about readership anymore. If you only want to check in once a week, or once a fucking month, go for it.
And I don't "beg" for comments, I ask for them. Why? To give me something to read on my own blog and to give YOU PEOPLE something to read too, and participate in. Hell, I even let you post in secret. Is that an issue? Then go away.
As for the secret shit? Well, this blog was around for a lot longer then most of you realize... and it was mostly meant for one person. Now since its my primary form of intrawebbers communication, everyone can share... but its also, sometimes, the sole form of communication between myself and the certain someone... because the certain someone can be a world class moody asshole when she wants to be.
So don't threaten me with leaving... it doesn't work. And it just shows that you really don't know me if you try pushing those buttons.
You whiney bunch of twinks. Ten years of free work delivered some of the best wrestling columns you ever read. Well, aside from some amazon gift certificates, various porn videos, various shirts, Fleabag, and a long lasting semi-friendship with Trish Stratus (who is another flake)... I haven't really gotten much in return. I got diddly AND squish in return, in fact.
So shut the fuck up. I'm busy making money, since none of you ever provided it.
I'm doing comments now.
1) June 12, 2008 10:27 PM. Anonymous said... Thats some pretty played out music you listen to there...you might as well throw some ZZTop and Poison in there as well...and every one knows that sinatra was best on Capitol..for chrissakes, he was singing sonny bono tunes on reprise!!
Referring to my current summer lineup for my auto CD changer. (reminder: Emimen's first, White Stripes latest, Rolling Stones Hot Rocks: disc 4, Best of Rob Zombie, Sinatra The Reprise Years: disc 4, Best of Garbage, Jay Z the Black Album, U2: Achtung Baby, Rhianna, and Eminem's second CD)
Played out... played out?? What, should I ROCK OUT with Panic at the Disco or Fall Out Boy or New Kids on The Block? I hear they are ROCKIN' again!
Jesus Moses Christ Allmighty. What should I listen too? ASSHOLE!! Douchie Bag and the Morning Chills?? Skippy Bonefuck and the Frat Fags?? Sticker Hard and Lenny Fried Dough?? How about I buy Motley Crue's latest and JAM???
Rock is dead, babycakes. Starved out by paranoid radio stations that only play establish acts with songs that ONLY meet their ever-decreasing criteria of what is allowable on their airwaves?
Listen, the last time rock exploded and figured out a way to be something new was when Kurt Cobain wore a t-shirt and shouted, "Here we are now! Entertain us!!" and that was 18 years ago! I saw Motely Crue on Letterman the other night playing a new song off their new CD Saints of Los Angeles... and it was somethiing they could have put on Theatre of Pain in 1985 and no one would've noticed any difference. They are trying to reach a new market with 25 year old shit.
Aerosmith has gone top 40, Bon Jovi has gone country, its all about what gets kids into clubs and onto the dance floor these days.
So don't rag on my "dated" musical tastes, daddio. MTV doesn't even play videos no mo'. It's about what I'm feelin' and when I want to feel it... and I'm not in line waiting for the ticket box to open to catch me some of dat new Crue, yo.
Maybe Ax'l will save rock. Maybe Chinese Democracy will be worth the 14 year wait and overhaul everything... anyone think this is remotely possible?
OF COURSE IT ISN'T... but at least Ax'l will show that he's been keeping up to date on what's going on out there. The Crue boys sure haven't.
2) June 9, 2008 7:33 AM... Anonymous said... Well Hyatte, the Celtics look good huh? And how could you puss out and have a facebook account? And how come I couldn't find you with my facebook account or my myspace...err... nevermind. Elect the brotha??? Um, this is the dawning of the end of the world. Not cuz he's black, but just look at all the earthquakes, bad weather, etc. 7 years removed from 911 and we may elect a man with Muslim ties?
There's nothing on the Facebook account, trust me. Look at how much I update this blog.... what chance do you think my Facebook account has of being up-to-date?
Yes, it is the dawning of the end of the world, and white republicans have caused it.
Obama will be our new president because we are desperate, DESPERATE for change. We are hurting, people, badly, and its because the son of one of our worst Presidents (one term) became maybe the single worst President we ever had.
And Hillary lost it because she played Clinton politics and the country got right sick and tired of it. We so badly want a fresh voice and a unique vision to guide us back out of this black hole of suck we are in. We'll take anyone. Even one with Muslim ties.
3) June 9, 2008 3:22 PM Anonymous said.... Joanie loved Chachi more than anyone on Ham Slow's Myspace buddy list too. And Chachi didn't have a Myspace account. See where I'm going with this? - Greg H
Nope... not even a little... and why use a 28 year old TV show which lasted one season as an analogy?
4) June 9, 2008 8:51 PM... Bigly said... and that's leaving out Burt's awesome guest stint on the X-Files as well as his work in Boogie Nights and Striptease...the dude's an american icon -- Harrison Ford without having to work as much cause he's got hobbies.
Burt Reynolds was the number 1 box office star for most of the late 70's and early 80's... then he picked the worst toupee imaginable and suddenly, he wasn't looking so good anymore. Plus he had this amazing ability to pick the worst possible scripts.
Funny you should mention Harrison Ford. Years ago, Ford was on Letterman and Dave ran a clip of a young Harrison playing a punk kid getting roughed up by Burt Reynolds on one of Burt's old TV shows. Back to the talk show, Dave was remarking about Ford's performance and age, "Look at you, you were just a kid."
Ford nodded slowly, with a nice smirk on.
Dave, "And look at you, getting roughed up by Burt Reynolds like that?"
Ford did nothing.
Dave, "Ain't the way it works now. Is it, my friend."
Ford slowly shook his head. The audience laughed.
It was a nifty moment... so much so that I can still remember it today.
You want to know when Burt Reynolds lost it? Watch The Cannonball Run and then The Cannonball Run 2... nevermind the lazy plots or lame one-liners... just watch the two and watch Burt Reynolds go from a real life Hollywood star to a pompous, fat gasbag just collecting what he thoiught was the latest in fat, easy paychecks.
5) June 12, 2008 10:30 PM... Anonymous said... ah facebook and myspace arent that bad, as long as you don't approach them the way a 12 year old would..."oh! she added me! she must be the one!"... friggin bullshit man, use it to network dude...get yourself a job..and don't put personal shit like cock pics on there, it will only make you look like a douche
No cock pictures... right.
I have a job, dickhead... it's why you are all whining for me to post more.
I am holding onto one promise and there is no Myspace account out there that is mine.
I tried networking from my time online and it got me nothing but lies and broken promises and back stabbing.
5) June 9, 2008 8:35 AM... Patricia said... Yay! Awesome entry, back to the good stuff. Good work kid. Hey, did you see Cloverfield?
No. The reviews scared me away.
The movie's the ultimate cocktease (heh... irony)... you don't even see the monster until the end, and then its, "what the fuck did we just see??" That screams, "WAIT FOR CABLE" to me.
The sequel should kick some ass!
And I have never seen an episode of Lost and WILL NOT until they put out the whole series on one DVD super-pack... then I'll watch it chapter 1 to the very end and let the thing build on me organically with no waiting.
Can't wait for JJ Abrams new version of Star Trek, tho'.
Patricia... are you on one of your little tiffs again?
5) June 20, 2008 8:34 PM... U. Shoulda said... check out these chum...p(s) trying to make yer girl funny. She was yers to f, rat http://www.f4wonline.com/content/view/5733/105/ it's a Triple H! Hawr, Hyuck and Heyyy-o!
Oh yes, Missy Hyatt's "day in the life" thing...
Missy didn't write that. Someone else did for her. Have you read Missy's stuff? She is incapable of producing ANYTHING that detailed or fully formed. That wasn't her... not even close.
Just know, people, if I ever went back to the DOI, I would chase Missy Hyatt back off the web within my first month... if that.
And I don't even weant to fuck her anymore... there's something very gross about a 40 year old crackhead with a litre of rat piss in her face who still thinks she's as hot as she was back in 1988... who's still hanging onto the barnacles of a silly career that was dead and buried before the Monday Night Wars began.
6) June 28, 2008 8:45 PM... Anonymous said... the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Nothing has changed, son. I've never promised anything more than what I've been giving.
And I'm going to stop now. I promise NOTHING for the future...
.... well.... maybe I'll crank out more comments for the weekend. Happy 4th of July, people... enjoy those crazy fireworks which haven't changed or eveloved since the 60's.
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