Why yes, yes it is.
(Douchebag's Note: Video at the bottom now working properly. In other news I decided that "Klaxon" does NOT sound like the noise every pot and pan in your kitchen makes when they all fall simultaniously to the floor. Rather, it sounds like the alarms European towns used to make when the Nazis rambled through looking for a few good Jews to fuck with. "YOWZAS!! HEAD FOR DE ATTICS!! HIDE THE YAMULKES! FOR THE NEXT 5 DAYS WE ARE ALL PROTESTENTS!! IEKE NEIN! VE LOVED CHRIST!! VE DIDN'T VANT HIM DEAD! UN VUN DAY 60 YEARS UN NOW MEL GEEBSON WILL ZET T'INGS RIGHT. HEIL DE FUERER, HEIL MARTIN RIGGS!!!" See the comments for clarification)
I had a really strange conversation the other night with a friend who is reading this (she doesn't post comments so no guessing). The friend means a lot to me and she knows it. I mean a lot to her and I know it.
But she really tends to underestimate my intelligence and my memory. She tried to rewrite a little personal history the other night. I could've really let her have it... really make her explain things, but I didn't see the point. She wanted to make sure I understood something and built her history lesson around it. Plus she was mad at me and used that to stengthen her resolve.
I understand. But I'm going to think what I want anyway, and I've got history on my side. And I remember EVERYTHING. It's a gift.
Other than that, the conversation was very enjoyable. It was kind of confusing too, but in a good way. Thumbs up all around.
So, final words on this topic: Sweetie, we are both too old and have been tight for too long to change the way things are and have been. Okay? As for the future, all I can say is... heh, maybe.
No one is allowed to comment on the above.
Okay then...
Something minor, yet major happened over the last few months that didn't exactly set the world on fire. It didn't make much noise in terms of news or anything. It wasn't a large enough story.
But to a kinda small/kinda large group of people, it was mind blowing.
This ain't wrestling stuff, but I'll use a metaphor that everyone can understand, then get into it.
So... so imagine if Bruce Mitchell wrote a column saying that this would be his last column for the Torch and he was off to new challenges. Then the next week Wade Keller did an "in-house" editorial and announced that what used to occupy Bruce Mitchell's column space would now be a rotating array of columnists to INSURE that WRESTLING would be the topic and NOT the ego and the arrogance of the writer.
Now imagine that you did a google search and learned that Mitchell would be joining PWInsider in a few months where he would be doing his column, audio work, and live event coverage.
THEN imagine that the NEXT WEEK Keller dedicated two paragraphs which thanked Mitchell for his fine work. Imagine he did it because of all the hate mail he received for being a bonehead the week prior.
ALSO imagine that PWInsider had a hugely popular writer who would routinely show his dislike for Mitchell, but now be curiously silent on the topic now that he was coming in. I know, PWInsider has no really likable writers, so think hard... pretend I wrote for them, or something.
NOW IMAGINE that Keller's grand remodeling strategy sucked. Allow yourself the opportunity to let the concept grow on you. Bruce was with the Torch for a long, long time. Change may not always be good, but it is unavoidable.
Get the drift? It would be a rather SHOCKING upheaval, wouldn't it? My God, the message boards all over would be MELTING DOWN
Well the EXACT THING HAPPENED, only on a much larger scale.
My dad, who had no business siring anything, used to get his copy of Sports Illustrated every week when I was a kid. It was a lot simpler magazine back then - you had letters, Faces in the Crowd, the cover story, pages for whatever sports were active at the time, and a long form in-depth story that went on for pages and pages.
And of course, some of the coolest photographs ever.
Years passed, the sub ran out, and, other than grabbing the occasional issue off the shelf when the cover looked interesting, I never made an effort to read every issue.
Then in 1997 I picked up an issue and bought it. After reading the aforementioned long form, in-depth back story (damned if I can remember it now!)and figured I was done. Then I turned to the very last page.
It didn't take much to make me a regular reader again after reading Rick Reilly.
Rick Reilly was the first, and so far only writer to get a permanent column on the back page of SI... and maybe any magazine (its possible that Time or Newsweek have had a solo writer on the back page, but who reads those?!?!? Hyuck). Reilly earned that spot through his passion, skills with the metaphor, and ability to tell a full blown story filled with humor, poignancy, and thoughtfulness... all within 750 words.
It used to be 900 words but Reilly's last SI contract scored him less words, which is why sometimes his articles started a quarter of the way down the first column.
Reilly won a bunch of "Sportswriter of the Year" awards, a few book deals, and made millions off this career. He was Sports Illustrated's poster boy. The face of the magazine.
My all time favorite Reilly story was the one where he talked about the girl's basketball coach for Columbine High. Her daughter was killed by the trenchcoat mafia (little known fact, those kids liked wrestling and had linked Scoops on their website. So they probably read my Mop-Ups.). She had all sorts of physical problems and had had numerous surgeries. The way Reilly presented her story was incredibly moving and inspirational at the same time. He later said it was the only story that made him cry. Me too.
Anyway, after many, MANY years of pretty much keeping SI's sales up, Reilly jumped ship and signed a deal with ESPN. Now he's THEIR back page writer... and he'll have a place on their page 2 website. AND he'll be on ESPN television covering his first and foremost sports passion, golf.
Basically, ESPN will use him as much as possible.
And in the world of sports writers... and really journalists, this is a major story.
So, after he wrote his farewell column, the week later, one of SI's editors told the readers that the back page would be a rotating series of writers and SPORTS would be the story, NOT the writer. The editor declared AN END to arrogant writers who thought they were bigger than the subject matter. Lots of humphing and hawring and bollocks.
The week after, once they were DELUGED with letters from irate consumers who bought the mag specifically for Reilly and didn't care to see him be blown out like that, SI put up a nice picture of him and thanked him for years of work.
Meanwhile, Bill Simmons, who pretty much is the anchor or ESPN's Page 2, who never hid his dislike for Reilly, has stayed quiet through all this... other than bitching at SI for the way they handled Reilly's exit. You can tell ESPN.com had a long talk with Simmons about Rick Reilly. Probably a reeeeeally long talk.
Reilly starts at ESPN in June. Currently, SI is a colder, unfriendlier magazine. Maybe its because they now use drawings for their writer's faces rather than real pictures. Maybe it's the new format. Or maybe because someone I enjoyed listening to moved out and the new tenants are too business-like (although they did hire Dan Patrick and that's a good start.)
Or maybe Reilly brought something to the table that no one else can touch... and it shows.
ESPN magazine has one new reader. SI might have just lost one.
******
I was going to do an Oscars prediction thing a few days ago, THEN do a "Why I don't know nothin'" thing tonight, but that's too much work.
The key to a good Oscar host is bring in a person to tell easy-going jokes with just a small pinch of spice so it seems tawdry. Jon Stewart doesn't want to offend anyone, and he is a likable fellow, so he's fine in the role. Steve Martin is a great host because he's friends with most of the assholes in the audience, so he knows what to say and what not to say. Billy Crystal came across as awfully proud to be hosting these awards and put on huge productions that poked a LITTLE fun but mostly made everyone feel special.
And the greatest "fuck you" Oscar ever pulled was never asking Jay Leno to host, because Leno would be PERFECT for the role... too perfect, in fact.
The bad hosts are the ones who don't belong, for various reasons. Ellen DeGenerous because she's more of an Emmy sort of host. Whoopie Goldberg because she'll take any job, no matter what, just pay her. Dave Letterman blew it because he could barely stand these people.
And Chris Rock bombed because he was hilarious...
Chris Rock did an AWESOME riff on why Jude Law wasn't a REAL star. It was a great play on how Jude Law gets movies only after the REAL stars turn them down.
And its so true. Jude Law couldn't fill a single fucking movie theater.
So anyway, later in the show, out comes Sean Penn, who's trying to show us ALL how to save the world while chainsmoking 200 cigarettes a day, who mumbles something about how great an actor Jude Law is and how Hollywood is lucky to have him. The audience practically gives him a standing ovation.
And that was the end of the Chris Rock: Oscar Host experiment.
Anyway, this year was flat out BORING... too many nitwits with fruity accents... but it was funny watching them make all the presenters speed through the show in order to get it off the air by midnight. Why not just eliminate the awards no one cares about (I swear, more people read this blog than care about best sound editing) and spend two hours on the good stuff and let the actors talk for as long as they like!
These things keep me awake for about 20 seconds, then I realize I don't care.
But the Rock did well. His stock went up.
WHO WON? Like you don't know...
Original screenplay
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Written by Diablo Cody
"Lars and the Real Girl" (MGM), Written by Nancy Oliver
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Written by Tony Gilroy
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
"The Savages" (Fox Searchlight), Written by Tamara Jenkins
Diablo won and good for her. I loved Michael Clayton but that was because of the actors, not because of anything they were saying. I do not have a fuckin' clue about Lars and the real Girl OR Capobianco and I'm at the point where if I see Laurie Linney's name on a movie I immediately think, "Oh fuck, boring INDIE FILM!!" and run the other way.
Diablo Cody still uses her stripper name and the movie that made her something is a fresh look at teen pregnancy. Good show.
Performance by an actor in a leading role
George Clooney in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
Tommy Lee Jones in "In the Valley of Elah" (Warner Independent)
Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises" (Focus Features)
DDLewis won and he did so because the douchebag, Paul Thomas Anderson, said he wrote the whole movie and the whole character around DDLewis... and that there wouldn't have been a movie if he said no.
Daniel Day Lewis does one movie every 5 years and then vanishes to go bang groupies and do blow and what have you. He also whined about heath Ledger to Oprah, even though he never met the man. Probably won for that performance more than anything.
George Clooney did fine as Michael Clayton, but he played George Clooney as tired and grumpy. What range??
Tommy Lee Jones played the same role he always plays. He's awesome at that role BUT ITS THE SAME ROLE. You could take any Tommy Lee Jones movie, sit down halfway through it... and start wondering when Harrison Ford shows up.
Johnny Depp sings... not enough people cared. They liked him as a Pirate.
Same with Viggo Mortenson. People seem way too impressed with David Cronenberg. I saw "A History of Violence", I wasn't impressed.
Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" (Warner Bros.)
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Charlie Wilson's War" (Universal)
Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild" (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment)
Tom Wilkinson in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)
Casey Affleck looks like he's 17 years old and his brother has him playing Private Investigators in really gritty movies! Both Afflecks should get attacked by AIDS filled rabid possums.
And no one misses Ben Affleck, someone tell him to stay away from in front of the camera. He had his shot, and he blew it.
Javier Bardem was fine, and he won, and it was a crime, no I didn't see the dumb movie... I'm not sure if I want to support this Josh Brolin Comeback we seem to be in the midst of.
Philip Seymour Hoffman gets too much praise. he should do a stupid comedy movie with Martin Lawrence... just to cleanse the palette.
Hal Holbrook should have won it because... well come on, he doesn't have much time left, he's been at this for decades... give him a break.
But Tom Wilkinson PWNED Michael Clayton... this guy REALLY should have won! He was just the SHITS! And he took part in the greatest death scene on movie history.
Holbrook and Wilkinson were cornholed out.
Performance by an actress in a leading role
Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (Universal)
Julie Christie in "Away from Her" (Lionsgate)
Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse)
Laura Linney in "The Savages" (Fox Searchlight)
Ellen Page in "Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production)
UGH THE SAME NAMES!! Except for two new ones... and the kid who got pregnant lost to this other one that, I can promise you, MAYBE TEN PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF HOLLYWOOD SAW.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There" (The Weinstein Company)
Ruby Dee in "American Gangster" (Universal)
Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement" (Focus Features)
Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone" (Miramax)
Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)
Amy Ryan was real good in Gone Baby Gone (I fingered a black girl while watching that movie). Ruby Dee is an old black woman who played an old black momma and there was nothing special except for one scene. I'm sick of all this Bob Dylan love. He hasn't been relevant since the 70's.
Achievement in directing
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Julian Schnabel
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production), Jason Reitman
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Tony Gilroy
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Paul Thomas Anderson
There was nothing imaginative about Michael Clayton's direction or cinematography... it was as if Kevin Smith directed it.
The best part of this is watching Paul Thomas Anderson get all pissy when he doesn't win. When he got fucked out of "Magnolia", he was practically crying in rage while his girlfriend, Fiona Apple, consoled him and looked so sad.
PTA kept it tight this time around, but he did wince when they announced that the Coen boys won
And don't misread... "Magnolia" was a horror show of gross arrogance and preening. Total vanity project.
Best motion picture of the year
"Atonement" (Focus Features) A Working Title Production: Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner and Paul Webster, Producers
"Juno" (A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production) A Mandate Pictures/Mr. Mudd Production: Lianne Halfon, Mason Novick and Russell Smith, Producers
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.) A Clayton Productions, LLC Production: Sydney Pollack, Jennifer Fox and Kerry Orent, Producers
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) A JoAnne Sellar/Ghoulardi Film Company Production: JoAnne Sellar, Paul Thomas Anderson and Daniel Lupi, Producers
Same thing I said above applies here. I think PTA grimaced, like he just farted and a little turtle head popped out and he was fighting to get it back in.
And then Josh Stewart hustled off the air.
OH, one more note... thank God Heath Ledger died... because they were REALLY low on big names that anyone would recognize. They also didn't feel Brad Renfro deserved a frame... because NO ONE in this town does hard drugs.
I know you want comments commented on... but the hour is running late. Sooooo, here are five of them...
1) November 12, 2007 12:07 AM Anonymous said... And what about starting your own site? I mean not everyone has the wisdom to seek you out and find you here. Maybe something that deals with more than wrestling - literary arts, guides to life, And Anohter Things... or does this do what you need it to do?
Just checking, JT
November 12??? Holy crap!! November 12 was so long ago, girls who were telling me they loved me then want NOTHING to do with me now!! Time flies.
I would never start my own site because... I'd have no idea what I'd do with it, I have no patience for html coding, and... after watching Widro spend years frantically keeping Inside Pulse from crashing... and watching it crash anyway... no thanks. This'll do me just fine.
If anything, I MIGHT move this to Live Journal only because I can have a front page with a portion of these entrys and then you can click to the full blog.
But... but then I have to have friends and pictures and interests and it just seems do fucking dumb and I am so against that and MySpace and Facebook and it's just not me.
And I'm not allowed to tell MySpace jokes anymore. A sad day indeed.
Personal websites serve no purpose for me. But anyone remember when Scooter Keith used blogspot as his blog... and every so often the blog would vanish... then he would come back and say, "I dunno what happened?"...
Heh.
2) November 15, 2007 2:09 AM... Brian said... I'm really liking this blog, I think I have learned more about you in a few months than in seven years. Being someone who has given up wrestling its nice to read you without having to read about wrestling BS. Also its a nice quick read, nothing too long. So what do you think of drugs and what drugs have you done during the course of your life?
Pot, coke, Ex, and dropped acid once in the 11th grade. The coke was a recent experience, done with a girl who insisted... we were naked at the time and we both found interesting places to snort it. I couldn't hang for more than three hits though... well, one line and two hits... all within a five hour period... we were naked for a looong time.
This was a white girl, by the way.
That was an amazing weekend... luckily I busted that coke cherry in my thirties rtather than in my twenties... because I know I couldn't handle a full out habit now... but 12 years ago, I would'a gone to town.
I also have a cousin who's a major cokehead and a general piece of shit... so he's like a nice little reminder not to get into something that could fuck me up.
I took ecstasy at a party and had a good time, but that's all I remember. Nothing bad, nothing good, just another party and I remember smiling a lot.
Pot... when I was younger I came home late one morning (2 am) all wasted from the weed and I made myself a gigantic pot of spaghetti... two boxes of pasta and three jars of gravy and I swear to Christ I ate half of it before going to bed. I was sick for two days later.
Then there was the time a friend of mine came home from the Army for a weekend (he was in Germany, this was before the current war) and he brought some amazing weed... and I got sick going through more then one less then four pints of Ben & Jerrys...
I smoke pot I let my ID go fuck crazy and my ID wants to EAT... I do coke and my ID wants to FUCK. Coke will own you for life... pot is addictive only to the dumbest of the dumbfucks, but it makes me unGodly hungry.
So I choose beer... yeah, it's almost as bad as the post-pot chowtime, but it also makes me sleepy. Sam Adams! yessir.
Did I say 5? I meant two. I have to go now. But first...
FINALLY, and this is the last time I discuss this...
Go watch Rhianna rock out "Umbrella" on some awards show with some silly British band I've never heard of, thus they never busted in the states, thus they don't really matter (like Robbie Williams and Baby Shambles). But it's "Umbrella", and I love this fucking song!!!
And not so long ago, the song meant something else... and I bet IT STILL DOES!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA... AAAA...AAAaaaa eh...
That's all I'm going to say. I have to catch up on comments. So that's the next time. All comments. COMMENTS!!!
