Not worth the wait. Not worth it at all. Ass.
For everyone else, the last time I was here I covered what I could possibly watch on Sundays. Yes, I'm doing TV recaps. Yes, I feel like a tool for doing so.
Yes, my life is this empty, but I actually don't mind. It's restful and there is, like, very little responsibility.
I'd also like to note that in Canada, you cannot get divorced until at least after your first year of marriage.
And I'd like to wish Trish Stratus a happy first anniversary... which was yesterday.
All I'm saying.
A note about the last blog and the EXPLOSIVE DEBATE between the quality of Survivorman vs Man vs Wild. Well, the Discovery channel started running Man vs Wild episodes and I had forgotten that he takes a camera crew.... or at least one guy, with him. So while Bear Grylis is running around the jungles of the rain forest or the artic HELL of Iceland, and talking about how nasty it is out there, he's being tailed by a camera guy who is going through the exact same shit, only while holding a goddam camera.
The Survivorman guy is all alone and reminds you of this every 5 minutes.
Winner: Survivorman
Couple of questions relating to the last blog... or column, whichever you want to call it.
1) September 27, 2007 2:17 PM: DewersXXX said...What do you mean you don't catch the WWE ppv's when they are on Sundays? WTF!?!
No! Ugh.
I have WWE 24/7 on cable. I pay $12 a month for it. The PPV's debut there about 3 months later. It's like the old days when the latest "Pro Wrestling Illustrated" would cover all the territory action (because in the early 80's, I just HAD to know how Junkyard Dog got revenge on those Freebird bastards for blinding him!) three - four months after the fact.
And... I'm just not feeling pro wrestling anymore. This Triple H is completely out of control. The writers are only there to scribble bad comedy segments. Vince thinks he and his family are the reason anyone watches. And John Cena, well he's likable enough, but there's no improvisation to him. Everything he says, no matter how energetic, is scripted. The only time the real Cena peeks through is when he laughs at being booed.
The WWE is a mess and they truly don't know this. Why should they? There is no competition.
What really bothered me was the show where Vince raged against the government and those letters Congress sent him. He tried to take the "us vs them" mentality and include the audience into it, trying to make himself the babyface in this upcoming battle.
Congress is after the WWE because wrestlers are dropping dead in their 40's, and one of them took his family with him. How the fuck is McMahon the good guy here?
I'll sometimes get a TNA ppv because of Kurt Angle. And fuck ROH. Fuck them and fuck these stupid net fags who worship them.
What about the return of Jericho? Well, I still watch Raw, but I change the channel more frequently then I used to. I'll certainly be interested in how they book him, and how he does in the current political climate, but I'm really wondering which Diva he is going to end up fucking on the road now that Stratus is gone.
Speaking of which, Candice Michelle, even though she looks totally coked out, has become a very good wrestler. It's amazing that she's imporved so much while Torrie Wilson hasn't progressed one iota in the... God, eight years she's been in the business.
2) September 27, 2007 3:12 PM : Nik said... You watch any of the Showtimes series? Weeds, Dexter, etc.?
Showtime... Showtime...
No. Well, yeah, but not really.
I do like Californication, (it's one of the shows I flip to during Raw. David Duchovny walks through the show with a smirk that says, "I'm getting paid to simulate sex. I'm a genius!" I like Duchovny, he's got a very mellow way about him. He's the type of guy who you want to sit next to at a bar and drink beer wth while watching drunk guys hit on women.
I also LOVED the Showtime series Fat Actress, Kirstie Alley's on-screen intervention session. But Showtime only had her for a six episode season, and then never re-signed her for another go-round. That's not a show, it's a fucking cocktease.
It's like meeting a girl online and cyberfucking her a while and then she refuses to advance any further. It's a rip-off.
AND Showtime had an ACTUAL mini-series called Debbie Does Dallas Again, which I talked about before in blogs past (and since deleted). Now that was a great fucking show - all about the porn world and in seven episodes we saw all the creepy dudes old farts, the creepy young directors, the seedy places where they shoot, and the mentally fucked actresses... all working under the Vivid banner, which is run by a normal looking guy in a professional setting.
But Showtime has this stigma where they keep saying, "Look, we are BETTER than HBO and we are willing to go there... we will go ALL THE WAY to prove that we are better than HBO!! WATCH US!! RESPECT US!! PLEASE!!!"
And their movie selection really sucks. Back in the 80's, Showtime signed a contract with Disnay and Paramount so a whole bunch of super cool movies ended up exclusively on Showtime. For a while there, Showtime was THE movie channel.
But contracts are made to end and HBO swooped in and grabbed all the contracts.
Can't get into Weeds, not very interested in Dexter.
Bring back Fat Actress. The show where Kirstie Alley's crackhead brother showed up and everyone ended up high on crack was one of the funniest things I ever watched.
3) September 28, 2007 4:57 AM: Anonymous said... You don't watch King Of Queens???
Well no. It's not on anymore.
Let's see, a fat regular guy is married to a really hot chick. If MORE hot chicks did this in real life they would probably be a lot happier.
Because no matter how hard they work out, no matter how many beauty spas they visit, eventually they hit the wall, and then they need their personality to get by. Scary.
If more hot chicks smarten up and realize that true love comes in all shapes and sizes, they'll be in for a much better life.
I have more questions, and I'll hit them over the week. I'm getting tired right now sooo, here's a pair of treats:
I, for one, am so sick and tired of
But here at
He made the following quote to Wade Keller in a very recent Torch interview:
I'm not going to bash Kennedy. I wouldn't know Kennedy if he came in my house and was scrubbing my floors. I don't watch the show and don't know who he is. I've read the sheets and I read what he said about Ultimate Warrior, which is absolutely ludicrous, because Kennedy, if he had the best counterfeit machine in the world couldn't print enough money during his career to compensate what Hellwig drew, period, end of sentence..
THIS HAS BEEN "
Oh man, that is the BEST! Even with counterfeit machine Kennedy will never outdraw the Ultimate Warrior! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
The man knows how to drive net marks BATSHIT!! HAHAHAHAHAAA
Second treat. Paris Hilton went on the Letterman Show last Friday. She was probably expecting the usual "Oh Paris, you're so great" type of interview... fluffy, harmless, and congenial.
Well, Dave was charming. He was friendly. And he wasn't RUDE. He told her how pretty she was a few times...
But anyuone who watches Letterman, or has watched him knows that Dave really doesn't care for guests who have nothing to say. If there is no movie/show/book/record to plug, if there is nothing to entertain the audience othert than looks (it's why Dave doesn't have supermodels on), then he's going to put them on the spot.
Paris Hilton spent time in jail. Dave was fascinated by this. Who wouldn't be. Paris really didn't want to talk about her time in jail. Dave knew that she really didn't have anything else to talk about... and he ALSO knew that a camera whore like Paris Hilton wasn't going to stand up and walk off the show. She needs these interviews a lot more than anyone realizes.
Letterman realized this.
Watch what happened. It's why I have been a devoted fan of Letterman since 1982. He is simply the BEST!
FINALLY... someone shows Paris how show business really works.
Next time I show up I'll talk about Prison Break, 24, the CBS comedy lineup, Boston Legal, House, ECW, and Ghosthunters.
