I'll get to a full blog when I get to a full blog.
JEWS! How about 'em
Here's a story that unfolded right here in front of everyone reading but only I caught the full story.
So, while answering all these questions you all asked, I had - on two occasions - mentioned Joshua Grut and his few attempts to get me in a net feud. All of these attempts failed because... the hell should I fight with him? Jesus.
Anyway, I guess Josh felt I was OUT OF LINE... or manipulating the truth to serve my own needs... or just being a dickhead. So the following landed in my comments section:
Anonymous said... I'm so glad to learn we were never feuding as you posted someone calling me a kike online inspiring others to do it. Say, where are your archives? Oh! You deleted them all shortly after that incident. Well, at least we both know it had nothing to do with me. Great column on Benoit. Keep up the good work. Smileys!
Okay... so then came my Friday night little run-off where I was hooting on about strippers and missing fingers, basically all to piss someone off (worked too), but I threw the following in that post:
Don't expect much for the next few days, but when I blog again we'll talk about self-hating jews. (WHOA... someone just screamed "red alert")
And apparently, I wasn't wrong... because the next day, in a comment thread from an earlier post, I get this:
Putnam Ventures said... This is Grut. I got an IM from someone today asking why I was trying to pick a fight with Hyatte. Whoever wrote the above comment was not me. I want as little to do with Hyatte as he does with me.
And so it ends! No harm, no foul. Someone tried to stir the pot and it was caught in time, RIGHT! Aces, now we can move on.
Except I don't buy this line of bullshit for one second.
Here's what REALLY happened: Grut got drunk one night, read this blog, got pissy, posted that anonymous comment, drank some more, counted his money, felt better, went to sleep, woke up, did what he does during the day, came home, went online, went to this blog, read my thing about "self-hating Jews", remembered what he posted, reviewed it, said, "Oy Vey!", and posted the "it wasn't me, leave me alone!" comment, and patted himself on the back for dodging this bullet.
And of course, HE didn't read it, SOMEONE TOLD HIM ABOUT IT.... because, you know, IWC Rule #45: Never admit to reading anything yourself, ALWAYS say you heard about it second-hand.
I should know, I wrote this handbook.
Problem is, where have I made Jew jokes about Grut? How about none in the last 4 years.
And what have I deleted? What columns where I went all Hitler on the kid and called all my readers to go get him and put him on the train? Inside Pulse? I can't delete those, Widro has the keys to that site and changed the locks the moment I went to DOI. If he deleted the columns that's his choice.
What I DO know is that Josh Grut is Jewish, and he'll never let you forget. I also know that one time, a long while ago, he e-mailed me accusing me of perpetrating "hate crimes" because I was doing my usual column stuff and someone, probably some teenage kid, IM'ed him and said, "Hey, Jewish guy!" Or something equally dreadful and suddenly, he's Anne Franke and I'm burning through every attic in New York trying to find him. Oh, and I have an army behind me.
FOUR YEARS AGO THIS HAPPENED!!
Maybe three, actually.
Then there was this e-mail that he sent to my work. Yes, to my WORK, where he cut and pasted every bad thing I've ever said about Jewish people (8 years of columns and he managed a whole page and a half of material) and sent it in saying, "This is who you have on staff!!" The PROBLEM is, he sent it unsigned and under the dopey e-mail address "Sweetrevenge@gmail.com"
It didn't have the desired effect. No one read it except for one person, who had no idea who Chris Hyatte is so she deleted it.
How do I know it's Grut? Because no one else would be so sensitive about anything I say to try such a lame stunt. And no one I know is so sensitive about being Jewish.
It's funny, I can make black jokes and the only time anyone gets angry is when I go too far and drop the n-bomb... and they aren't even really mad, they are more like, "I get the joke, but could you lay off the actual use of the word, bro'"... which I do and everyone's happy.
How many times have I said, "Allah is a homo"? Countless... how many Muslims wrote to me and chewed me a new one? Zero.
But a few Jew jokes aimed NOT at the people but at a hyper-sensitive kid who just got pissed because I dropped him as a friend... oh the humanity.
The Jews have had some bad shit handed to them over the years, I'm pretty sure they aren't fingering me as the leader of the New Reich. And I don't see a person with "stein" or "berg" attached to their last name and start thinking "kike"... it doesn't even cross my mind. I have my own problems to deal with.
So Grut... fuck yourself... not because you're a Jew, but because you're an asshole. Fopr a LOT of reasons that are long in the past and not worth revisiting. You're out of my universe, you're dead to me, and it might be best to not read this thing while you're drunk.
It's not my fault you couldn't keep up a weekly column that was a rip-off of me. Few could do what I did on a weekly basis for so long.
Don't reply, don't plan a brilliant retort, and don't send a new e-mail to my old place of business. Just go away.
I don't want to hear it.
BLAH... anyway, comments are open for all of the above, but not for this last thing right here.
Okay then... I'm out of here. I'm still waiting for an answer to the question aimed at one (NON-JEWISH) person right under this sentence. I would appreciate an answer please. Or at least a proper goodbye and maybe thanks for years of fun and understanding? Thanks.
